I was in line at the grocery and a young black woman in the front of the line was having trouble with her card. She was holding the hand of a fussy little girl and laughing about the card. From behind me a woman says quietly "nigga". I turned around to see a sweet old lady with her old hair style and her old jewelery, and her old bigotry. And she just smiled, and I cringed.
Chances are that the old bitch thought it was "cute." I say that and I'm an old man. Many white people just don't get it that they should not be using this word. I know an ignorant white man who told me once how hurt he is for blacks to call him "honky." Oh, the poor bastard!
Maybe at least conspicuously scratch your cheek with just your middle finger.
Didn't think fast enough
In my old age I have become much more willing to confront. I may have asked WTF?
There was no way I could have confronted a little old lady and come away feeling good about it.