Truth is neither bitter nor sweet, it simply is.
When you start assigning qualities to concepts you are open yourself up to the temptation to delude yourself.
Facts are facts about individuals but generalisations are simply propaganda generated from hate and a need for revenge for often falsely perceived slights .
I have been spectacularly unlucky in love overall, but for all that, I have been fortunate in this respect: none of my wives were gold diggers, freeloaders, or spendthrifts. There have been zero fights over finances, but this just happened organically; it is not like I consciously selected for it or we had lots of framing and qualifying discussions in advance.
It is an extension of the weirdness of my life, that my professional and financial life just worked whereas everything else was highly resistant to being directed to desired ends. Or put another way, it's an expression of how the things I received from my life were the things I didn't care too much about or try to hard to achieve; and the stuff I really, really cared about, seemed to auto-foreclose itself in advance.
I am sorry that I can't distill a clear lesson in this for others, other than that it is possible, at least, that one's love life can proceed independent of personal wealth. I started out with middle class resources, and gradually achieved upper middle class verging on lower upper class resources, and I have not seen this as having any appreciable influence on my love life. So it's possible, I just don't know how, despite having experienced it. Heck, my present wife didn't even bother to ask how much I make until we'd been living together for several years, and I met her at a time when she had every motivation to (under threat of the IRS taking her home from her because of her late husband's screw-ups). She's the sort that wouldn't want me to bail her out even if she desperately needed to and I was able.
I guess the one CLEAR lesson from this is, not all women are conniving gold-diggers. My guess is that those who are, may be an artifact of a patriarchal society where women had to be conniving in that regard as they historically had zero financial resources of their own.
Fucking rubbish. If you're looking for a golddigger then money is a concern, but if you're looking for love, it means nothing.
This dick has already posted else where that he does not believe in love. sad, sad little man.
It’s amazed me to ‘just now’ … at sixty something years along.. have finally noticed the same. Fell in love in my new place, of course got to know her. Recently stumbled some.. attempting to describe what she was really looking for. “A Sugar Daddy,” my friend injected!
Yup, fresh from her divorce with the Dr., she’s found another.. Even appeared to make her angry when she learned my former wife had ‘received’ twice what she did from her divorce… Beautiful woman, intelligent, active in the right causes, but looking for someone to send her last child to “The best college in the state.” Looks like she’s found him ~
I’ve begun to wonder.. if you live long enough, will you eventually have experienced enough? I’ve heard religious folks ask how ‘we handle the thought of eternal death?’ Damn - by living ~
Sounds like a gold digger, buy her a gold painted spade.
@ProudMerrie Had a saying I’d mumble when spraying poison oak in the woods - where there’s some, there’s more. It’s often said men are looking for sex and woman are looking for money. I’d hoped for more from humanity, though, with time & experience ...it may basically come down to just that.
I’m still looking, but damn if it doesn’t seem a dimension more difficult considering what I’ve found..
@ProudMerrie I appreciate that