So my mom's birthday is coming up next month, on the 20th. We have a strained relationship that has gotten to the point that we haven't spoken to one another in months. I love her but I think that may be for the best, at least at this time. Anyhow, I tend to see things throughout the year that remind me of this person or that person and I will take it home and put it in my steamer trunk. When said persons day of birth rolls around I give it to them. I have in my trunk, a Red Skelton collection that brought my mom to mind a while back. I would like to give it to her, but I don't want to get things riled up again. My mom and I both tend to be wary of peace offerings.
I don't know, just my morning thoughts and worries...?
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I see where you are coming from. My relationship with my mom has become more strained in last couple of years. It's not as bad as yours. She didn't agree with how I was looking for peace and happiness. I grew up baptist and thought becoming an catholic was answer. She implied I would going to hell if I did. That was the last straw with god/religion. I thought she would be happy if I was going to church at all. Plus, she is homophobic, being pan sexual wouldn't helped the situation. Give the gift to your mom and see where it takes you. It might help your relationship.
freedom41
Level 9
Mar 27, 2019
1
You bring up the interesting challenges of gift-giving and its meaning. Does it mean peace offering? Is it reciprocal to make up for something the person gave you, or did for you? Is it tradition? Is it just a way of saying "I was thinking about you when I saw this item and thought you'd like it." It can get so complicated as we put values onto what it all means. Birthday gifts at least can come with a card and your card can express what you want to say...without being forced to say what you DON'T want to say. I am sorry to hear that you have a strained relationship with your mother. That must be difficult to navigate.
mojo5501
Level 7
Mar 27, 2019
1
Please try and make friends with your Mum. I would walk on broken glass for 5 minutes with mine and we never got on.
Amisja
Level 8
Mar 27, 2019
1
Byrd:
I did. It wasn't mutual.
Some people should never have had children.
Some mothers never get along with their children. It doesn't matter why.
At some point, it is NOT unreasonable to sever ties with someone
who is toxic to your life.
Just because a woman may call herself your mother, doesn't mean you "owe" her anything.
Interesting. Other people would rather walk on broken glass then ever have to talk to their mothers again. Please realize that your relationship was quite privileged one and not everyone is as lucky as you. In short, you are projecting and guilting people that may have shitty relationships with their parent(s). not cool.
@demifeministgal You know nothing about my childhood.
@Amisja True. But it may be safe to presume you were not LC or NC with your mom when she died.
@demifeministgal What is LC or NC? I am British
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