I am the eldest son of a Austrian father and German mother and I have two younger sisters. Both my parents have died recently. My father worked hard most of his life and paid off a 200 year old house at Concord in Sydney. When my mom died my youngest sister did not handle it well in fact claiming to be a christian she blamed me for killing my mother. This is because my mother told me before she died that she did not wish to be revived nor did she wish to have any more operations. This led the nursing home to ask me to sign a document relating to her wishes.
Unfortunately when I received the call that mom did not have much time left and was dieing from liver failure, I rounded up the family and when we arrived at the home Yvette was in bed with my mom, her handbag was on the floor with an empty bottle of champagne next to it and she started to attack the family one by one. Eventually we asked the security guard to get rid of her but after some attempts he could not complete the task so instead we had to leave instead. On arriving back at the house with our dad who was still alive I decided to ask him if we could see the will which he had showed my other sister and me some years earlier. It was with shock that I discovered that all dad's papers were missing and a few unimportant bill receipts remained in an envelope which had Yvette's name on it.
My sister Lisa and I decided to discuss the missing will with dad and we then decided to make a new will with the same wishes as the one which was missing. Of course it stated equal shares for the three of us.
Two years on my dad has died and I have discovered that a few weeks later my sister Yvette has destroyed the original will and tricked my dad into signing a will of which she is the only beneficiary. Not only does my narcissistic sister think she deserves everything but she also believes she can win a legal contest. This means that the solicitors are going to get $200K minimum.
Because at the time of mum's death my dad was suffering from dementia and Yvette was owing rent she managed to become carer, enduring guardian and power of attorney and at the hospital she was next of kin. This allowed her to shut Lisa my other sister and myself out of all interaction by spreading lies to all concerned. The hospital which was Concord Repat refused to give us any information.
For those that may not know the law in NSW regarding deceased estates in this case The Family Provision does not allow unfair wills yet a solicitor helped her draw one up.
The reason I have written this story is because I have enjoyed a good relationship with my sister Yvette for all but the last two years and she was a good person. The fact that she has planned this years ago and gone through all the moves has made me feel sick.
Firstly I have no one to talk to about this.
I have also discovered that this type of selfishness is very common so I post in the hope that this post will help someone in the future.
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12 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.What an awful thing to do ... she is truly a narcissist. I am actually thankful that my folks do not have any money or possessions to pass on. (My dad just died, my mom is 89). I told my mom "I don't know if you and Dad have any money, but if you do, spend it on yourselves right now. Do not leave any money to your brats. First, you don't owe your brats a thing. Second, your brats will never go hungry and don't need money. Spend it on yourselves." When my grandfather died in 1980, my dad and one of this brothers got into a feud with his other two brothers. They went for a decade w/o speaking. They had a horrible fight over who got what. I am actually grateful that there is no money to pass on. It would be nice to inherit something. But the fights over inheritance would be awful. I too, have a sister who is a narcissistic control freak. Families can be depressing.
SKH78
Level 8
Apr 27, 2019
0
If the property has not been sold put a caveat on it to prevent the sale. If sold do the same on your sister's house, bank account, and any other assets that you know about.. That will give her pause for thought. Then see about proceedings to get her sectioned into a mental hospital.
FrayedBear
Level 9
Apr 3, 2019
1
You have choices, either fight it or walk away. What does your other sister want? And of course you do have a case against the hospital too.
Jolanta
Level 9
Apr 3, 2019
0
My other sister wants her share even though she is well off and I don't blame her. I want justice and the satisfaction of getting it. You have no idea of the obnoxious, sick attacks of name calling and mindgames she has inflicted on me. For christmas she sent me abouut 20 pictures of shit. Her method of dealing with me as the only thing I did was accuse her of stealing dad's will. She attacks! I am selling my house at the moment my debts and you know all legals come out of the estate for both sides. Once my house is sold I will get back what I enjoy and try not give it much thought.
@rathswohl Has legal aid been of any help? You also have a Solicitors body that takes complaints against unethical lawyers. The AHPRA should also be talked to about hospitals allowing madwomen dictate what they do.
Feel free to join us at Aussie Sceptics.
@FrayedBear I was not aware of this thank you and I will join you soon. I was happy when directed from a financial advisor assisting me with my current finances from the salvos gave me 3 choices for my request of an honest solicitor. I received quotes in the first instance of about 10K then later when we discovered Yvette had filed for probate the quote was 100K and I have been told all funds come directly from the estate. Her will is dated one month after ours which means she dragged my dad to a solicitors office and they witnessed . She now uses different legals which means something ? I would very much like to be ontop of this so I am gratefull for your help.
@rathswohl If I can be of any further suggestion please feel free to private message me. You are in a very stressful time irrespective of what you do.
When people have the opportunity to cheat someone else for a lot of money, you find out who they really are, sometimes surprisingly, sometimes not. Until they face that kind of temptation, lots of people seem to be something other than that. I am glad that my father has made his bank's trust advisor the executor of his estate so there will be no favoritism or opportunity for this sort of thing when he dies. I and my siblings will all receive an equal share of the estate as he has informed us all of this. I'm lucky that he has always cared about seeming fair to all his children, so he will want that reputation to follow him after his death.
I'm lucky my father was a judge and so he's always been very organized and prepared for things. So sorry you went thru this shit. Your sibling's behavior is the kind of thing that sometimes makes me wish there was a hell so people like that can get what they deserve eventually even if they don't get it from the legal system in this life.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Apr 3, 2019
1
Thanks for that its very difficult accept but she has turned into a text book narcissist. Does,nt hear anything I say, probably end up in the asylum.
Walk away man
Your health and sanity are more important
darthfaja
Level 7
Apr 2, 2019
1
My health and sanity are dependent on my inheritence, probably have another 20 years on the planet and I plan on surfing uncrowded reef breaks this is what I love most.
@rathswohl Do you need an inheritance to go surfing? The last time that I went to the beach it was free. A neighbour's son lived on a deserted Queensland island for a year with tootsie, shooting feral goats, fishing and just going ashore for tea, sugar and flour once a month.
@FrayedBear Hi Bear, I am just going to guess out on a limb here that you may not have experienced living off the land on a personal level. From the age of 14 I was camping in many of the uncrowded surfspots discovered by Nat Young in the early 70's I am now over 60. It would be very difficult to survive and really Australia has changed a great deal over my lifetime I doubt it would be possible to do this today within Australia. I experienced Bali in the late 70,s which was the best time of my life. I intend to do the same in Lazuna Bay which is located in the Philippines. Where a person can live well on an Australian pension. They add a bleach to many products in order to become more white looking and most of the population pray to an invisible manufactured myth which means I will have much to discuss with the locals. Its also a paradise. If your still around I will message you when I get there. with kindness and regards. Rob.
i had a similar experience with my sister when my mother died.
ppl can be weasels even siblings.
callmedubious
Level 8
Apr 2, 2019
3
My late wife's sister tried to cheat my wife out of her share of their mother's home after their mother died. Marge was not going to pay my wife her share after the house was sold and when my wife called her to ask when Marge would be sending her the money, Marge told my wife " I wasn't going to pay you because you don't need the money, you already have a lot of it" . My wife had to hire a lawyer from across the country where Marge lives and threaten to sue her, as the mother's will said that the house went to both of them equally. Marge then caved and agreed to pay, but my wife was generous and forgiving enough to let her pay it back over two years in an annuity. I would not have been so forgiving, but my wife had no other immediate family left. Neither of us trusted Marge with any money after that.
I am so sorry for the loss of your parents, and that you have gone through this. From family it is the kindest cut of all. Money does strange things to people, as does religion. The combination... well, you obviously understand. This is a safe place to vent and unload. Even if we people have not gone through it, we can empathize - especially with what religion can cause people to say and do. <<hugs>>
Rustee
Level 7
Apr 2, 2019
2
I'm glad you felt okay unloading this here. IMO, that is a very big reason for this entire site's existence.
Piratefish
Level 7
Apr 2, 2019
3
Greed. Isn't it wonderful? Fucks up families just as badly as drugs or alcohol.
Piratefish
Level 7
Apr 2, 2019
1
You know I like learn something new everyday but did not see this comming. Personally not good with , thank you.
Sorry for your losses. The whole thing really sucks for you.
I went through something similar with my sister, and I walked away.
I didn't want to fight over "stuff". That included the money.
She has always been toxic, and was spoiling for a fight.
I wouldn't give it to her.
I think that may have pissed her off more than anything else.
Haven't spoken to her in over 20 years. I do not miss her.
I haven't nothing to regret.
KKGator
Level 9
Apr 2, 2019
1
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