Something I haven’t seen posted (not that it hasn’t been but I don’t live on this site so I miss a lot) is REAL people (not scammers or fake profiles) with ill intentions on Agnostic. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about people who start talking and someone changes their mind and bails on the new found friendship. I’m talking about what I call “time wasters”. People who know upfront they have ZERO intention of following up on an actual relationship. Also I am not personally talking about anyone I have dealt with here on this site. This is just something I see and hear about, mostly from other women, and I find it repulsive. It’s one of the absolute worst things you can do to another human being, which is knowingly waste their time. Some of you who do this have never faced a situation that makes you realize how valuable time truly is. I kicked cancers ass and that woke me up to see life. Treat people good who deserve it or just leave them alone. Time is something once given cannot be gotten back. Stop doing this to people.
It happens to both men and women. Since no one on this site is a telepath, most of the time there is no way to tell what a person's motivation might be when you only know them by what they type here. Most of it is just speculation. If you are going to participate in this semi-social scene, and that is what this is, there will be a trade off. This is really a safe way of interacting with people when you get right down to it. I am skeptical when I see folks who live in metropolitan ares on these sites trying to meet someone. I have to wonder why they are here. When you have a dating pool of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, why try to meet someone who probably does not live anywhere near you. People living in small towns or rural areas have a very limited dating pool and it is understandable why we would be here to meet someone. I have been ghosted here and that is fine. I have been here a year and really only know a couple of people very well and that is because we spent hours on the phone, not hours typing.
Some people are just mean, others don't know or want to know how to disagree with others without being mean. I have had little experience with scammers on Agnostic, but I have had a lot of encounters with people on these boards who are either trolls or just plain intolerant people who are unable or unwilling to disagree without turning it into a personal criticism or attack on me. I do have strong opinions, but I really do try to not attack or criticize others just for disagreeing with me. I have blocked 9 people so far and there probably will be more. I will try to be respectful of others, but if they use snark or sarcasm, for example, when I am discussing something that is serious or important with me, I see that as being mean and attacking as it is really just an indirect way of demeaning, belittling, or making fun of me when I am being sincere or serious about an issue or experiencing. All of which is actually a form of bullying, whether most people here are aware enough to recognize that or not.
That type of behavior is a way of saying, " Your feelings are either overblown or don't really matter anyway" and for that matter neither do you........
The Internet is a facade for everyone... in many different ways. With the world of "the offended and outraged" we all have to tip toe around others. But many get their kicks from trolling people or catfishing.... because they have no self worth or value in their life.
Trolling is what some call a difference of opinion, if it is in conflict with their belief system they call out someone with a different opinion a troll, it's kinda like faith, belief without substance
I'm only here for community, as many people are, so I don't experience that side of it.
However, any social website will expose you to this risk.
I don't think you can find the perfect dating site where this doesn't exist, you just have to become an excellent screener.
Exchange 2 messages and then request a phone call. It's incredible what one can glean over the phone.
@PalacinkyPDX Not necessarily. @Proudmerrie knows a way to call people without them having your phone number.
You can also ask for theirs.
There's some risk to being online, you just do your best to minimize it.
The alternative is not to meet people online.
Closest I have seen to that was several weeks of conversation before I discovered that our politics are night and day different. I kind of assume most people here are progressive. I will not make that mistake again.
This is not feeding lies for kicks though. That's atrocious.
It took you weeks to discover you have opposite politics? Why not just get it out of the way up front? I do.
I think the primary issue is people need to communicate, be upfront, and honest..
Most of us are 1000 of miles from another, why be or pretend to be something your not?
@BohoHeathen "feeding lies for kicks"..
Why is the offended not outing them then.?
A breakup is one thing.. airing your dirty laundry can go bad for both sides..
But if someone outright maliciously lied to me? I would raise hell..