Very good guide, for those wanting to know...

Last time I was asked if I was pregnant on the bus the poor lady looked horrified when I just laughed and told her I was just fat.

I suppose my apathy towards other people's looks has helped me and I didn't even know it. Yay me.

No!no! no!

That's fucking hilarious

"I know I need to lose weight," two women replied ruefully, when I asked if they were pregnant. (slams head on desk)

I will never ask again.

Now I don't mention pregnancy. I treat women as people, not baby ovens.

Why would you ever WANT to ask a woman if she's pregnant?

Maybe, if she happens to be your own girlfriend - but other than that, why?

Lol. Honestly Western women are too sensitive about body fat. If you look like you're pregnant and you aren't, just come up with some entertaining replies to the question and be prepared to take it like a champ. You'll still have five year olds asking, even if you can convince everyone else to stop.