Do you ever have recurring fears that you have a hard time shaking? You know ones that really shouldn't be bothering you but still do.
I have my whole life. They change over time.
What are yours and what do you think causes them?
Thanks
2
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18 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Reading through comments on this post...I'd say it's one of my favorites! Thanks! See how many of us have replied?
And has it helped you?
I hope so.
LucyLoohoo
Level 9
May 18, 2019
1
@lucyloohoo.. indeed it helps with perspective. ...thank you!
@Bigwavedave GOOD! And good luck to you!
I try to stay in touch with "reality based"
fears, as they help keep me alive.Irrational ones-they are to be studied and removed.
BBJong
Level 7
May 18, 2019
1
Sincerely wishing you well with this! I know what you mean!
Floating. Just kind of bouncing from thing to thing, never really finding anything I truly excel at, never finding a place where I stand out. It's not mediocrity I fear, it's not finding purpose in work. It's working at something I'm not great at, that I don't really like, until I die.
Oh, and the roaches in Florida that fly. Holy fuck.
Xuande
Level 7
May 9, 2019
1
(DAMMIT! I just deleted my brilliant (naturally) and insightful (of course) comments!)
First....I understand and empathize with your feelings about not finding the ''perfect place." We always ask young people to make lifetime career decisions long before they know what their real ''niche'' should be! I have faith in you...you'll find it. (This isn't about me but...I never knew until I was 40 that I was born to be a teacher. This can happen for you, too.)
Now...when I read about the roaches that fly....I literally did LOL! For those who don't know--they're known as Palmetto bugs and they're terrifying! First time I saw one, I was...shall we say...''resting'' on a toilet, saw the thing reflected in a bathroom mirror and COULD NOT GET UP TO KILL IT!
Most roaches will scuttle away when they see you. Palmetto bugs have ATTITUDE...as in "GET OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!"
Good luck! Have faith in yourself.
I really don’t like driving in the rain. I had a major car accident during a storm and needed back surgery as a result.
I don’t mind ice, snow.. just dread rain. Naturally it rains a lot in Houston.
Green_eyes
Level 8
May 9, 2019
3
I feel that .
The only truly deep and all-encompassing fear that I have had (aside from simple and normal fears of, oh, embarrassing oneself, hurting oneself, fear of pain, etc) occurred during my caustic, time-consuming, and money-guzzling divorce... I feared that my no longer and once-wonderful husband would manage to financially ruin me. Thankfully my attorney did not allow that to happen, and (between her and the laws of my state), I came out with half of our 'estate'... Anything else I have faced over my now 62 years pales in comparison! I have been able to manage my reactions to fears as they come, and not allow them to be all-consuming, whew.
Rustee
Level 7
May 9, 2019
3
Yes money is a big deal.
SO GLAD you found the right attorney!
Phobias are weird things. I used to have arachnophobia which was instilled by family reactions. When I left home and dealt with spiders myself the phobia didn’t exist. Now I’m head spider catcher! Certainly in my case the phobia wasn’t a trait but learned experience which I was able to unlearn.
Geoffrey51
Level 8
May 9, 2019
2
Umm....crazy guy with gun?
Yeah....crazy guy with gun.
MakeItGood
Level 7
May 9, 2019
1
Right? Damn now I have to add that to the list!
We have fear because of uncertainty and the unknown. Religion capitalizes on this and so did your parents. So do kids at school and many others that you know today. I'm able to look back at my fears and see them differently today. I can do this even if my fear was a short time ago. I can see how the fears change, and I hate change. Most people I know are not honest enough to admit this. They act as if they have always been exactly as they are now and have always believed the same. It simply is not so.
DenoPenno
Level 9
May 9, 2019
2
Yeah was in a war take your pick saw death all the time bullets flying at me you name it very hard to see a young life snuffed out in front of you
bobwjr
Level 10
May 9, 2019
2
Bob, yes I didnt have that experience. I imagine that never leaves your thoughts.
@Bigwavedave flew air combat rescue combat medic rescued wounded right from battlefield under fire
@bobwjr Oh, my dear! I'm so sorry! You ok now?
@LucyLoohoo fair went though catharsis in 80s
I had a very traumatic experience in my 20’s so now I watch a lot of crime TV so I can better prepare myself for all the psychos
sandrarocks83
Level 7
May 8, 2019
1
Through yoga and psychedelics I discovered some deeply hidden memories of early childhood traumas and realized exactly where my procrastination, self sabotage and fear of attention came from. One of the main ones that this framework was built on:
In pre school we were given a worksheet on how to read clock faces once. The teacher said to work while she was gone and left. I did mine and everyone else goofed off. On her return she “rewarded” me by using me as the instrument to punish everyone else. She gave me 10 minutes of free playtime, alone, while everyone else had to sit with their head down quietly, and watch me resentfully. I had no idea how the fuck I was supposed to play anything alone under those circumstances so I crawled under a table with a toy and pushed it around aimlessly for 10 excruciatingly awkward minutes. Almost everyone has trouble being spontaneous, childlike, and playing on command, but that made me feel so uncomfortable that I was subconsciously taught to avoid being noticed at all costs, not to get ahead of everyone else or live up to my full potential. It took a long time and exposure therapy being on stage to get over the shakes it caused. Still can’t speak in public but I don’t mind playing music. I finally found something I could play on command and be proud of.
The ones that I still can’t shake I have a harder time putting my finger on. I have nothing but stress nightmares every night when I stop smoking herb. I think once you do put your finger on them and unravel a fear til you get to the bottom of it, you will invariably be able to shake it.
Wurlitzer
Level 8
May 8, 2019
2
...yeah ~I can realate to that
Thanks
I sincerely wish that BITCH teacher could read what you've written here and recognize her role in it! I'm glad you have your musical talent to enjoy!
I used to have dreams that I’d run off the road into lake or river and was trapped in my car and couldn’t get out. Every time I drive over a bridge or by a body of water I cringe!!!
Jewelee65
Level 6
May 8, 2019
1
Have you ever looked into what to do in that situation realistically so you’re prepared? There are tools made to cut seatbelts and can be used to bust out a window if need be, you should keep one in the car. If you have time and do see yourself heading for water, crack a window so you’ll be able to open the door without so much water pressure. You might have to wait til the car fills up with water and it’ll be scary but try to slow and deepen your breathing and take one last big breath til you can get the door open. I’m not an expert this is just what I think I remember from seeing this demonstrated. There’s a myth busters on it I believe and probably countless other tip videos. Do some research on it and you may be able to gain some security.
@Jewelee65 that's exactly the kind of unreasonable fear I meant.
@Bigwavedave this would fall under
the reality based/manageable type.
I have a similar fear that has been
reduced through the methods mentioned
above(see WURLITZER)
Heights and flying. It happened after my father was killed in a plane crash in 1980. Up until then, not a problem.
Sticks48
Level 9
May 8, 2019
2
Sorry about your dad.
@Bigwavedave Thanks. That was a tough one.
Sticks, my father was killed when his military plane crashed. Was your dad military?
@LucyLoohoo He was an aerobatic pilot and his wing started falling apart. He was only about 500 feet in the air and had no time to bail out. I am so sorry about your father. When it is a surprize like that, it is such a shock. How old were you when your father died?
@Sticks48 I was almost seven. My dad grew up as ''poor white'' (nobody but a Southerner would know the REAL meaning of that.) In post-depression Florida, he joined the Navy (because his pay could support his mother) and, to his surprise, they asked if he wanted to fly! Turned out to be the love of his life. (Much like your father, I'd guess.) He always told my mother he wanted to die in his plane...and he did. He was a Lt. Commander, which says a lot about his dedication to the Navy.
How old were you?
@LucyLoohoo I was 32. My sister was 12. It messed her up for most of her life. She worshiped our dad. She never had a good relationship with her mother (my stepmother). My father was in the Navy, I was born at Balboa Hospital in San Diego. He joined at the start of WWll. He got out after I was born because he was a boatswain's mate, and was always going to be at sea, so he got out. He loved the Navy. He took up flying in his 40's. I am so sorry you didn't get to know your father better. I hope that didn't mess with you too much.
@Sticks48 You and I (and your sister) have lived similar lives.
I was born at Portsmouth Naval Hospital in Virginia. My dad loved the Navy and loved flying! I know I've spent much of my life ''looking for him."
Sorry for your sister. At least you got to know who he was. I hope she did, too.
AND...we know our fathers lived/loved what they did!
My dad was killed when he was 32 years old! And he loved flying/the Navy and I've comforted myself many times thinking of that. He always said he'd teach me to fly before I could drive. (There's a lot unsaid there...)
I have about four memories of him.
(I'll bet I know who you remember on Memorial Day!) (Me, too!).
@LucyLoohoo I am really sorry you did not get to have many, many more memories of your father. I do have that.
I used to fear not being able to breathe. I think it disappeared about the time I took up scuba diving...
seattlepanda
Level 7
May 8, 2019
2
I took up scuba because I feared sharks after the movie Jaws...after swimming with them, my fear disappeared (although my respect for them is still there...)
@thinktwice GOOD FOR YOU! And SCUBA! confronting and overcoming fears....I'm glad.
Dangling from heights. My window-washer friends post photos of themselves on the side of buildings...my hands ache, palms sweat...
seattlepanda
Level 7
May 8, 2019
1
I feared falling off a cliff, hanging onto a small tree and not being strong enough to hold on...it was so vivid that I took up weight lifting and strength training. It stopped that fear...
I am pretty fearless...
thinktwice
Level 8
May 8, 2019
4
Sadly, I know over TEN people with severe dementia...all of them intelligent, kind, caring people who are now unrecognizable. And even though there's no medical warning or proclivity for me....I worry about losing myself to mental collapse! I've made careful plans to remove myself from that fate...just as soon as/in the case of its arrival!
LucyLoohoo
Level 9
May 8, 2019
4
Thank you for sharing . My newest fears involve aging as well.
@Bigwavedave We all need to think about it and plan. It's awful for my friends but it's much worse for their families.
As our options change,with medical progress,
we need to keep abrest of choices.Thanks
for being an example!
@BBJong Thanks! The scary part isn't that I'm ''of an age,'' but more that I see increasingly how many ''too young for this'' people I know. What in HELL are we eating/drinking/breathing that causes our brains to disintegrate?
(I should say that I'm not really a hundred years old!)
Enjoy being online again!
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