I had a revelation in the middle of the night. I’m a beta. People hate betas. I’ve been rejected by my family, friends, and mates throughout my life. People have seen me as something to use or abuse. I don’t think all those people were alphas. I think they were channeling alpha as a survival method. They became aggressive, rude, selfish, manipulative, and cold. Ironically, a true alpha would probably be a hero. I adopted a party animal persona . At the start of high school, I decided I would put on bravado in an attempt to keep the bullies at bay and attract women. It worked. I frequently acknowledged I was acting, though. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve. I think fake alphas have made the routine real like people make the supernatural real. My alpha behaving narcissistic mother told me that I was born an old man as if that were an anomaly. I now understand what she meant. I now understand why I consistently test ENTJ-A, yet I have no desire to form or run a company. It feels good to know who I am and why I’m an outcast. It’s helpful to think that there are most likely a ton of betas engaged in self loathing.