I'm guessing they would think it had something to do with mouthing off to a cop in connection with some kind of traffic violation.
The only time I was ever actually arrested was when I was sitting on a blanket on a beach area along a lake down in Louisiana. The officer said I was under arrest and I needed to get up and go with him. I said "hahahahahahahaha - my husband put you up to this, didn't he?" He said, no that this was most definitely for real. I asked what the charge was and he said violating the sign at the front entrance that banned glass containers. ?????? I never saw that sign. So I got perp walked up to their little guard shack - a female friend sitting with me tried to talk him out of it - he finally said it would cost $65 to "post bail" and they would release me and set a court date. Several friends had to pool their resources to scare up the $65 in cash (we were there so the kids could all go swimming - nobody had much cash on them). When all the paperwork was signed, and the cash was paid I was informed that if I chose to not appear in court I would simply forfeit the bail money. That was it. Can we spell S-C-A-M? Kangaroo Court, anyone? I wonder how much money that parish (county) raked in each summer......

They would assume I kicked some creep in the nuts...

For arguing a point too hard and being a public nuisance!

People closest to me will say my use of sarcasm resulted in a physical altercation.

This kinda happened to me for an open container of beer on the beach at Daytona Spring Break so my answers may be colored.

How much bail? 100 to 1k ok go get them with exceptions once I got there and found out e.g.If its assault and battery of a spouse or child your SOL I walk.

You have already bailed my ass out at least once. I say how much and where are you? except as above

Do you need a criminal or civil lawyer and how much bail? that will tell me all I need to know about how deep of shit you in and do I need to get the bail bondsmen for you.

1. If your image up to that point you have conveyed to your friends: If you have been a goody two shoes, don't drink, go to the ethical society every week then the assumption is an auto accident with a homicide, or hit and run (may be)

2. You were a known JD growing up, worked for midnight auto parts, had been a member of a street gang anf a quart bottle of beer was known as a bumper (for breaking heads after you finish it) then I would ask What did you say to the Officer?

3. If you are off duty and out of Uniform and you call, I am duty bond to get you out as fast as possible before military police get there and/ or your CO finds out so you can keep it on the down low in civil court and not mess with your career. With exceptions above.

If it was for hitting a pedophile I'd make it a donation of bail and my contribution to the cause.....no charge

A moving violation of some sort though I mostly keep it under control.

I think it's a great question. My friends would think that I was charged with assault for breaking a JW's foot by slamming the door on it.

PS do you ever run into Todd Rundgren?

I don't think that is stupid at all, actually a rather interesting hypothetical. For me DUI or possession of cocaine. I don't do either often but I can't think of any other thing I would be arrested for.

In my youth I got away with a lot of mischief that would have had me arrested and gaoled had I been caught.
On example is when a friend and I painted the local Russian Embassy red.
We also used to break into the law courts by climbing over the railings, then climbing over the roof, (it was only a two level building), then descending into the internal quadrangle to pee in the fountain. It was to show 'contempt of court'.
There were loads of anti-social high-jinks.

In my case, that happened last October, so I'd say, for overstaying my visa due to severe illness.

I was arrested by the Thai police in Songkhla after my work visa was canceled when I was diagnosed with cancer, and couldn't leave the country within eight hours. After a month in prison-standing room only on cement, 140 women crowded into one room, I was able to sneak a message to my sister on Facebook through a Thai guard, and my sister sent Western Union money to get me out of immigration prison, although the Thai officials tried to deny she'd sent the money and tried to make me pay again.

Mine is super boring, but forgetting to renew my plates. I almost did get arrested once because I forgot for two fucking years somehow. Had to go to court and everything. Nice judge saw I had it taken care of and dismissed the charges thankfully.

That was a couple years ago and I still hear shit about it lol.

They would think it was a mistake.