I have watched other married couples (and dating couples) fail. I have not married but have had several LTR's some which yielded many ongoing friendships. I see and have experienced the same problem over and over in many relationships where couples focus on the other person's wants/needs/desires in an attempt to please or satisfy them which too often leads to failure. Neale Walsch offers a different outlook on this process offering what on the surface looks and sounds selfish but is anything but. Here is a link to Neale's theory which opened my eyes to what is wrong with relationships and a different perspective that offers hope.

Yes I have, and have been accused of it too. If one of you is emotionally available and the other is not, that’s a recipe for heartache and failure.

You'll become emotionally available when you're interested /have chemistry..

My last husband was very emotionally unavailable to me. Like a hard shell around him: he could not admit even to himself.
I might not be ready to get serious or commit, but I can say so. At times when I wasn’t ready to date at all, I could express it. To me being in touch with your emotions means you have insight enough to know what you want and can handle. I see ‘emotional unavailability’ as withholding oneself.

I have been divorced for 4 years now. Dated a bit but no relationships and no longer think I need or even want a relationship.
Nothing makes you appreciate being single like a REALLY bad marriage.