What matters more than anything when it comes to your online dating profile? Photos. Photos can drastically increase your chances of getting more communication and dates. Or not.

You have 3 seconds to make a good impression. Women will see your main photo as a tiny pic the size of a saltine cracker on their cell phone screens. If your main photo is not clear, bright and attractive, they move on.

A genuine smile is inviting, warm and attractive. You look glum and bored. Nobody wants to date an angry or depressed person.

Through online dating, every man I met with closed-lip photos had horrid teeth:

missing, broken, black stumps, diseased, yellow, gray, snaggle-toothed and/or breath that stank like rotten meat. Ugh. I can't imagine kissing that.

Show your pearly whites!

Well reasoned.

it's not as much fun doing those exciting things alone. Even watching a movie is more fun with someone else

People also say they hate it when people misrepresent themselves in profiles.

Your post is a bit funny, a little dark and very smart, because now everyone is going to look at your profile.

You state you're funny and I think you are. I don't think you need to post fake photos representing a fake life. But, I think you'd appear to be fun and funnier if you smiled in at least 1 photo. That way the dark edge in your bio won't suggest you love the taste of human hair.

Your pics are fine lad.