Since this is a quasi dating site, may I make a suggestion?
If you're doing online dating, obviously the pool is large and the choices mind boggling. In order to try and preserve feelings and keep some semblance of truth in the game (yes I said game) please don't make up lame excuses when cancelling dates or turning someone down. They are pretty transparent. Like when you cancel a Monday evening meeting that you picked the time and date for, saying you woke up not feeling well, offering "how about Saturday morning?" Then you hide your profile. Code for I met some guy over the weekend but I'll give you a little time Saturday morning if you're still around. No one hides their profile because they aren't feeling well. Anyway, my suggestion which I think goes a long way is "I just met someone and have to see where it goes." It may be the truth or it may be a way of not hurting someone's feelings. Just a thought. I now return you to your regularly schedule program already in progress.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.The "game players" are also waving flags. They're warning you that they're not ready for a mature relationship - or they aren't that "in" to you and don't know how to be honest enough about that.
Don't take it personally.
They're lame, injured, or disabled in some way....so just recognize their lameness...and move on.
Robecology
Level 9
June 26, 2019
0
Thanks for the counsell. As I said to another commenter the purpose of my post was not for the people receiving the messages but for the people giving them, that they should tell the truth. They can't hurt me anymore
@lerlo You know as well as I do that they're stuck in that pattern....and they'll always be dishonest. Nice pie-in-the-sky optimism....but let's be real.
@Robecology okay pretend I didn't post it
@lerlo No insult intended...
I just don't want you to live with any delusional expectations that they'll change.
They won't.
@Robecology there is isnt a post on this or any other site in the world that will change anyone
@SeaGreenEyez sorry you can't handle somebody telling you that they're not into you or vice versa. Pretty sure you won't find where I called anyone dishonest. Someone reading my post who is not sure how to break it to someone might take my advice. They may not. I think most people appreciate the truth obviously you don't. That's why there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream
@SeaGreenEyez you're the exact reason people hate this site, personal attacks, did I personally attack you, no of course I didn't, but you don't see it that way but thanks for your response and have a great life b
@SeaGreenEyez "(And being honest about not being into someone NEVER ends well. Never.". Your quote miss wonderful apparently for everyone but you then.
@SeaGreenEyez I don't think he's suggesting "dishonesty" for changing one's mind...but he is suggesting that if you change your mind be forthright and upfront about it..don't hem, hedge and stall...that's being dishonest. Read his OP...I sense he has a legitimate complaint about "not being honest"...maybe a better term is to be "forthright" or "upfront"....but I feel his pain...ummmm ...just sayin'
You are a man after my own heart. I don't play games either with dating, but it seems like most do. I've been stood up twice in a four month period from meeting women thru Match. Some people just don't have any empathy for how their behavior affects others. Others maybe do, but they rationalize in some sick way that they are entitled to be jerks to the other sex as some sort of payback for how they have been treated by other members of the same gender, which, of course, is bullshit when you do that to someone you don't know at all that is guilty of nothing but being interested in you.
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
June 26, 2019
2
yep, hang in there
Your right. Some people treat it as a game. Then there are people like me, taking this serious.
confidentrealm
Level 7
June 26, 2019
1
Hopefully people you deal with will be truthful.
@lerlo a small percentage. I've had lots of people try scamming me. Having false profiles, lying about their location, identity, and asking for money. It's a chance I take because I'm still looking for Mr. Right.
@confidentrealm as long as you know what to look for and are careful, keep plugging away !!
@lerlo one of these days I will find him
They could have gotten anxiety and felt embarrassed over it.
Then again I've read that there are people, both genders, that sign up and somehow subsist on the messages and interest alone. That's weird to me otoh I know some pretty anxiety riddled people.
Qualia
Level 8
June 26, 2019
0
Just no excuses for lying. Say you met someone, say you don't want to go out, or not feeling it, just don't lie
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