don't take marine biology. there are a surplus of ppl who would like to make a good living while playing with dolphins.

Let me say this, I'm going to say to you what I said to both my sons when they were in similar circumstances:

First, breathe. Take a few deep breaths, relax your shoulders & just "be" for a second.

Now, your situation may suck & not be where you want to be so let's figure out how to use the opportunity you have to move where you want to be.

Almost every 4 year institute offers the exact same basic curriculum you get at a 2 year college. Build your transcript with those & think about where you want to be.

College Is Not For Everyone. If I knew then what I know know, I'd have gone into either electrical work, plumbing, hvac, or auto mechanics. Why you ask? (Good question) No one wants to sit in the dark (electric), shit in the woods (cannot over emphasize the importance & convenience of running water), sweat in summer/freeze in winter or have a broke down car & don't know how to fix it. Not to mention, in all of these fields, you can get side work (who doesn't know a shade tree mechanic) & you can earn a decent living out the gate (in my area $35k per year for starting electricians). Is there something "outside of the norm" you want to do/try?

Now, what do you love? Can you turn what you love I to a job? You may not make bank but if you do what you love, you will never "work" a day in your life.

Really want to attend college but can't afford to go where you want? Get a job at a college or university where part of the benefits package is free education. City/local/state jobs also offer paid tuition as do many corporations & private companies.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed & defeated & that's ok. Feel those things but don't drown in it or become paralyzed by it. Every day, do 1 thing to get where you want to be. Research transferring to the school you want, what do they require? What are the 1st 2 years of classes & can you get them where you are? Make contacts in areas you are i interested in & ask if you can talk to them about what they do. Trust me, people love talking about their frickin jobs. You can gain a lot of knowledge & insight from that.

Go to www.auntbertha.com & see what education scholarships you may qualify for or what other programs may help you get where you want to be.

Do forget to "think around corners". What you think is crazy could be possible.

You're not the first person to have difficulty deciding what they want to do or where they want to focus their area of study. Get your required courses out of the way and take as many electives as you can. One of the best pieces of advice we got when I was starting university way back in the ancient times of 1984 was that by taking all of your requirements first and throwing in a few electives along the way, you'll happen upon something which grabs your interest. Then you'll have an area of focus for your final push to the finish line.

And don't forget to socialize and have fun. The first couple years of college should be partly about spreading your wings and getting your ya-ya's out, because once you decide on an area of study, university is going to become increasingly like graduate school as you get deeper in to your course work.

Oh.... and DON'T drop out. If you think you're miserable now, you'll find out the hard way how much more difficult it is in the work world for disposable employees who have no leverage and no advanced degree beyond a high school diploma or GED. Your life will consist of 50-60 years of physical and mental exhaustion and poverty unless you marry in to money.

Frame of mind is extremely important, and without a change this is not likely to go well. How would you change that? First, look at where the bad thoughts are coming from. Change them. That is possible by changing the feedback you are giving to yourself. If it takes you taking time out every day to repeat to yourself something like "I will start and finish successfully, I will enjoy the experience, and I will see it as a challenge." . . . . the feedback you give yourself, if you do it often enough WILL change things. Also, the reason I mentioned seeing it as a challenge, is because in that frame of mind, you can excel, because it puts your mind into a frame of reference that is aggressive in nature toward learning process. You have a choice, you can go to school and be buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, or you can take charge of your destiny, take control, yield that to no other person or their wishes. This is totally up to you to make that choice.

Hello Haley: I can relate to your problem. Either decision seems like a struggle. Of course, you have to make your own. I am reminded of something I heard on You Tube from a Dao, (meaning, "path," but not a religion,) author named Derek Lin. I would provide the link, but it is just a small part of an hour long video with CJ Liu interviewing. In this part that struck me, Mr. Lin makes a metaphor that the world is the gym of life. Walk into a gym and you will hear a lot of grunting. Why is everyone voluntarily doing what hurts? Well, you've probably heard the phrase, "what doesn't kill me will make me stronger." Another thing they covered was the, "Wu Wei." The basic idea is to relax and you will see your path.

Additional, what ever you do, there must be people, consolers maybe, you can reach out to.

Can you defer for a year? You aren't going to perform at your best when anxious and uninterested. Give yourself a break. You're 19 and trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. It is no good staying there if your mental health is going to plummet. Be kind to yourself and ask yourself what advice you would give your best friend if they were in this position.

Can you take a gap year and still go for free? Or maybe do a study abroad if you can. I highly highly recommend Semester at Sea www.semesteratsea.org
It was the most incredible experience of my life. I'm happy to answer questions about it if you're curious. If you can't take a gap year, how about joining a student group? There are usually lots of them of all kinds of interests. And if you don't find one you like, try starting your own. Or are your troubles academic? I really struggled in chemistry and I get depressed when I'm doing all I can and it's still not good enough. I did tutoring and met with the teacher and still only managed a C in that class. I hope it gets better for you.