I quit dating roughly 7 years ago.
I'm fine with living alone.
I don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit, and no one has to put up with mine.

It's a win/win.

I took a break from dating in January. Just turned Bumble, and only Bumble back on last month. Deactivated my account yesterday. Too hard on my ego. From now on I’m just going to crash my cart into cute men at the grocery store

Your post reminds me of this scene.

My two cents on this subject is that there are a lot of neurotic, immature, and insecure people out there in the dating pool. The ones that mature and learn how to love and take proper care of themselves completely, usually get quickly taken off of the market. Everyone else are what you have been encountering. Those people in this latter group are usually attracted to the types of people that are not good matches for their long term happiness. Due to their issues listed above, they will look right past you the quality person, towards their next dating mistake. Giving up hope, while completely understandable, will not increase your chances of finding happiness. Pursuing ways to improve your own sense self worth will.

Dating at our age is hard. Online dating can make you crazy. There are organized crime syndicates in Nigeria and Russia that target women in developed countries. Their targets are women over 50 who are widowed or divorced, overweight and especially if disabled. I am all of those.
80% of the guys who contact me are scammers. Another 15% just want a fwb or nsa. I have gotten pretty good at spotting them and have developed a set of rules to help me spot them.
My husband left 3 years ago and I would love to find a partner. For a while I was really frustrated, but I finally realized that I would rather be alone than be in another abusive relationship.
If the right guy is out there that would be wonderful. In the meantime I am building a life and Lear to be ok alone.

I have been online and on various dating sites for over 25 years. I am NOT looking for a life partner and am here for friends only and to see what can happen within that friendship and nothing more. I have met many women online and have made friends with several through the years and we have enjoyed what we could share together within that friendship. I ask for nothing more and I expect nothing more. My experience on dating sites has been good for me and I believe it has been good for those who have chosen to be friends and enjoy what we can share together within our friendship. Some have been sexual and some have been platonic but all have been a good and enjoyable experience.
Life is brief and unpredictable, embrace it now while you have the privilege and opportunity to do so.
I wish everyone here and on dating sites well and success in finding what they are searching for online and in their lives.

I understand your frustration.

As a short man who's often attracted to voluptuous women...it's been a problem for me.

And we men are in love with curvy...and even "voluptuous"...but we fear/loathe "obesity".

I've seen this happen to at least 2 partners.

They go from - as you suggested - curvy to - voluptuous to - dare I say it...fat.

I've kept close to ideal weight...so I have to be honest here....the weight gain is a simple turn-off.

Yet women of the past are always a little more appealing to most men if they are, in fact, slightly overweight.

The catchword is "slightly".

But here's the catch. Obesity is a world-wide disease that's growing rapidly (See the link)

-and it's not your fault.

Doting parents set you up - quite innocently, really, to overeat. Before you could walk and talk; when you were upset food was put in your mouth.

So the challenge is to break habits that are deeply ingrained in us.

The trick is to do two things...

1. Tolerate hunger...especially at bedtime
2. Get moving - make sweating a daily habit.

You'll be "struck by lightning" more often if you lose the weight. Good luck.

[slate.com]

Yeah a lot of men just do not seem to have a mirror at home.

Just remember:

I agree with you right up until “ghosting.” Ghosting is when a person you have actually met disappears and stops responding to messages.
A person you haven’t met face to face does not owe you any explanation. Ceasing to respond to messages IS saying that they aren’t interested.

I've been online dating on and off for 20+ years (match.com & okcupid). Sure there have been disappointments but overall it has been more positive than negative. I've had 4 about 2 year long relationships, 1@5 year relationship, and am currently in a relationship that's been going for more than a year. I'm honest about my lack of belief and everything else.

I've been ghosted and dumped, and done the same. Sometimes ghosting is the right choice with someone who takes any communication, even negative and straightforward, and feeds it into delusional thinking, stalking, etc...

One of the tricks is having realistic expectations. I'm overweight and almost bald but I'm smart and financially secure. If I want a hot young woman, I'd have to go with someone who wants me to be an insta-dad, have them move into my house, and pay for everything - not a chance in hell... I prefer to stick with women closer to my own age who are accomplished and educated like me - looks are secondary.

As I get closer to retirement, financial security is very important to me. I need someone who has saved for their own retirement. I haven't lived with anyone for 20 years. It is so much simpler that way.

As I look where people live, the biggest thing is to be somewhere with a large percentage of other Atheists (or similarly minded people). Really, move out of Trump country before you condemn the opposite sex. I wouldn't move to Texas or the bible belt and expect to get the same type of response as I have had living in the SF Bay Area and Seattle.

Good luck.

Yes, the odds are low but you have to continue plugging along, now knowing what you know. No expectations, expect the worst. But I can tell you from experience of doing it 5 times longer than youve been doing it, that it can happen and when it happens, as you know, the feeling of meeting that someone can't be duplicated. So, go with the Gretzky saying of "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" but more importantly...you can't win if you don't play!

Well I was in a conversation with you, I'm 66 and hardly a 30-year-old, and you ghosted me, just stopped writing back,, so I don't know what you're talking about!
I happen to think you're nice-looking, your body type is a non-issue, I was being nice and polite, and you disappeared. But the way you tell it, men are the ones letting YOU down.
It's not just you, women routinely seem to think it's okay to blow a guy off, but if a guy blows THEM off, they're insensitive brutes.
Maybe that's harsh...sorry, but I have been misused by women far more than the other way around. Don't get me wrong, I've had great relationships with great women too, so I'm not singing the blues here, but c'mon!
Dating sites are usually cruel places. I've never thought of this as a "dating site;" I just enjoy talking to women about all kinds of things, to get their perspective, etc., and if anything ever came of it, great, if not, okay too. But AS a dating "forum " this is by far the best I've ever come across, because you're guaranteed you're talking to a "like-minded person," and it's more than about jobs, station in life, money, the right resume, etc.
Anyway, good luck finding your guy.

I’m right there with you!! Also a curvy woman who is sexual, apparently that makes me only hookup material.

I would say there’s one thing worse than ghosting. The guys who will converse with me for a bit and when I specifically ask if they saw that I’m atheist and curvy (because let’s face it, most guys won’t bother reading the 3 sentences I had on my profile) and they reply they aren’t attracted to overweight women. No offense. Really asshole? I’d rather just have them ghost me, or lie and say something else (distance, etc) changed their mind. Why deliberately say that?

I absolutely hate HATE online dating... I’m 35 and have been single for most of my adult life. I feel the right person for me will find his way into my life when the time is right.

Im 39 and starting to agree also

Agree completely!

Ok, ready to give a more thorough reply, altho the others here have said some of what I would have. BTW, wise move to have added a full body shot to your photos as one of the women suggested. Body type first. Yes, most men do want a woman with some curves, as long as they are not more than moderately overweight. Same way women want men with muscles and a six pack, goes both ways and is fairly true even at my age. As far as the rest of your list of turnoffs like being intelligent, articulate, sexually open, etc., I don't concur at all with that, based on my experience and the men I know. Not wishing to live together or be financially controlled (do you mean rather financially dependent?), also don't think that applies to most men either on the financial issue. Not wanting to live together probably would be a turn off to most men, but is more common than you think for our age. Last woman I met from online said she felt like you on that and I am not eager to live with anyone soon either even if we clicked and dated for a couple years.Same with women enjoying "manly" stuff like your list of outdoor activities, at least in my area. Those activities are commonly listed by the women's profiles I see on Match and they say they are seeking only men who enjoy lots of those same outdoor activities. I have to believe that most of them are getting lots of interest from men in my area, all other things being equal about these women.

As far as wanting women who are strong, independent and not jealous of a man spending time with his male friends while the woman spends time with her gal pals, that describes my one, happy marriage to a T, as well as the male friends I have that are all married. The baldness issue, I covered below, except to say that I don't try to hide mine. I am tall, but even with that I get very little interest from online dating, probably because of my baldness, build, and how I dress, I don't look that impressive in my pics. I totally agree with you about how superficial online dating is and how much the profile pics determine a huge amount of how much interest you get from other people, at least to start with, on dating sites like Match. It goes both ways tho, in my experience, and women can be just as shallow about it as men when it comes to screening completely on looks without giving any real thought to whether the rest of someone's profile info is interesting and compatible with them. What is my evidence for that? The fact that in almost two years of online dating, only about half of the women I message even bother to look at my profile after I've asked them to. Why don't they? Because after seeing my main profile pic that accompanies my message, they decide, based on that pic, that I don't meet their standards for looks, so they don't go on to view my profile.
As for ghosting, it happens to all of us and I have grown callous enough on that issue to not be upset about it anymore. It also hasn't happened much to me anyway.

You have said so much I will need to read this again a time or two before giving a longer comment, but one thing I will say now is that not all men are able to re-partner in 6 months. I've been trying online dating for 21 months and am still back at square one. Haven't met anyone I saw more than 3 times. Maybe your sample of guys that re-partner that quick as you say are all way better looking than me and/or way more mainstream for their local area in culture and lifestyle, which I most certainly am not for my area.

Yeah and what is up with the men partnering up again so soon. It happens a lot. I don't get it. Further proof that it is a mans world!! Not that I'm bitter or anything........

Online dating was easier back in the day. I met a nice amount of women in my 20s and early 30s. The field is saturated now. There are so many different variables and situations about online dating including age, status, number of people, fakes, and on and on and on. Someone could, and probably has, written a long book on it lol

The internet makes it easier to be cruel and rude to people too, or dismissive. The internet has kind of dehumanized and hardened our species in my opinion. Especially younger adults now. It's like a producer of borderline sociopaths to full blown sociopaths in my opinion.

Maybe a little overdone but

If you hate it so much, why do you continue to do it? There are dating sites out there specifically for people of a larger body size that may be more successful for you. Or why not get with one of those 30 year olds you mentioned?

Ha. Great manifesto. I’m a short bald male. I’ve been on the online dating scene for five years and haven’t had a single date. I don’t attribute that to my height, follical condition or any other physical attributes. Though I can identify with your feelings on that.

On the other hand I don’t really see where you are coming from on all the other non-physical turn offs you speak of. I wouldn’t though as I have no experience trying to attract. I can only speak for myself and none of those things you listed are red flags for me.

I concur with your statements. I feel like an alien in the world. Lol. Online dating has been a joke. I'm single but I refuse to go back. I'm so sick and tired of games.