I wish to share a piece I wrote some time ago to describe my relationship with my second wife, Pat:

Just a few thoughts I would like to share with family. This time of life is a happy one to me. Pat and I are pleased to be growing old together and sharing the same life space. The physical passion is long since gone, but we still care deeply for each other, treating each other with dignity, respect, and caring. We listen to each other and actively try to make life better for each other.

We are different people in many ways. Pat is a bit of a “neatnik” and a worry wart. I am a messy thinker and problem solver, but Pat will attest to the fact that I am “trainable.” Pat is attuned to social protocols and rituals. I tend to be an iconoclast and do not care for ceremony. Pat is deeply religious and I an not at all religious. I tend to be more of an existentialist (ala Jean-Paul Sartre) and pragmatist ( ala James). Pat is very much a product of an upper middle class educated background. Although I am neither religious or politically conservative, I am very much a product of my rural southern roots, overlain with my experience in Berlin and with much exploration of who I am and what I really believe during graduate school. Nevertheless, we are tolerant of each other’s eccentricities and opinions. Pat is a picky eater and I tend to be a bit of a gourmand.

We do have many similarities. We both are liberals in political and social thought. We both care about people. We both care about nature and the out-of-doors, but Pat is more of a protector an and I am more Darwinian. We both love good music and the arts. Neither of us has the need to dominate or control the other.

We have disagreements and differences of opinions, but we do not argue with each other, and we never yell and scream at each other, and are never verbally abusive with each other. While we do have different viewpoints on some issues, we share many values and perspectives.

We do enjoy each other’s company. Pat is my mate, my friend, my caretaker, my companion. We spend many ordinary days doing ordinary things in a climate of peace, warmth and sharing. In spite of the aches and pains of aging and of the loss of things age has forced us to give up (which we each thought we could not and would not want to do without), it is a time of peace and beauty that I have never experienced before. To me, it certainly is a beautiful closing chapter to our lives. May you all be so fortunate!!