"6 times out of 10, the outcome of a person's behavior, motivation, or selfish desire wins out."
This thought needs some developing...and footnoting. Also, replace "then" with "than".

I'm reminded of this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, "People only see what they are prepared to see." My feeling is, there's always going to be disappointment and negativity in the world, but it all depends on how I react to it. Not to be a Pollyanna and disregard that bad things can happen, but to do my best and to seek out the good things regardless, have gone a long way in helping me feel better about myself and about life. And this is coming from someone who used to feel that life was so bleak that I was suicidal for a time.

Satre's dictum that "hell is other people" is basically true. I haven't found a solution. However in making that judgment I have to include myself. I often joke I'm not the man I used to be, and in fact, it turns out that apparently I never WAS the man I used to be

People suck, and to whatever extent I didn't used to suck, others have pulled me enough into the orbit of their suckage that I'm now part of the problem rather than part of any imagined solution. That is apart from stuff that's no one's fault but that I've nevertheless had to bear witness to. Things experienced cannot, for the most part, be un-experienced. My #2 wife and #2 son remain dead, and always will, for example.

It does not follow from this that I am not content or that I'm miserable. I'm just very realistic, and disabused of this notion I once had that it was possible to have an organically flowing and enjoyable life that isn't constantly interrupted by unwanted drama, misunderstanding and strife. I'm in my 60s now and I have people who love me but also people who are a source of legitimate concern as to their welfare and how things are going to turn out for them, and therefore for me. I have resigned myself that it's never going to end, this business of life constantly presenting new clusterfucks to deal with.

And I'm not being picked on. I don't know anyone who doesn't have the same problem -- although I do know a handful of people who are better at kidding themselves about how orgasmically wonderful their existence is.

I get my kicks from things that actually Just Work, like most of my professional life, and limited aspects of more arm's length human relationships (typing here, for example). I put up with the rest. I also now understand that I am not, and never was, entitled to anything more than that -- or to anything at all, really. My problems are, for the most part, first world problems. I am not starving or homeless. I'm a middle class heterosexual male WASP. I'm debt free. I come to my dotage with about the same level of sorrows as the next person, and with fewer regrets, really -- mostly just disappointments over expectations that were never realistic to begin with. I'm never going to know what it's like to realize my ideals in certain areas, but then, near as I can tell, no one who has reached my age can honestly say their life went remotely as they planned / hoped / dreamed / fantasized it would in the beginning.

I understand where you're coming from. I don't expect anymore from others than what they themselves commit to. I have family and friends and live a pretty satisfactory life. I'm pretty content with the way things are. Would I like to have a partner in crime? sure. the nice thing is, I own my own home, pay my own bills and work towards the things I'd like to have or do and I alway run into people who say, "I'd like an independent person to date and be my significant other". But independent people come with jobs and schedules and responsibilities and can't just drop everything on a Wednesday night to stay out late and go salsa dancing till 1 in the morning if they have to be at work at 7am. Independent people will make time in their schedule for the people who are important to them but... and here's the tricky part... it has to be scheduled in advance.... so if someone tells me they are looking for " an independent" person... they usually forgot to add "wealthy" in front of "independent".

Once I learned to be content with my own company and mindful of what I truly need and refused to settle for nonsense, my life became easier, my relationships with family and friends became deeper and those romantic relationships that I had ended on friendly terms. I tend to describe myself as "a self rescuing princess".

Perhaps you are looking for qualities you feel you need but you are looking for them in the entirely wrong kinda people.

life is like an algebra equation... there is the constant (you) and the variable (other people) and the outcome. If the variables change and the outcome is always unsatisfactory, the only place to look is to the constant.

I think basically you are a negative person, that is your problem. Sounds like you are relishing the fact that yet again it all goes to hell. As you think it always will, you get what you wish for in this life and only you can change it.

Gee sounds like you are having a bad day - or month! The only thing that is a constant is change. Nothing stays the same. It seems you were able to get out from under your cloud and see awe and appreciate it for at least a brief time. It does seem that some people are fairly awful, selfish, nasty,etc,etc most of the time. These are people and their situations that I do try to avoid. In life all one can do is try to be who they want to be and also try to be with people who are like minded souls. Supposedly the Buddha said "Life is suffering" but the word he used is dukkah which means dissatisfaction. So yeah, life can be dissatisfying at times but hopefully not always. Not sure how you are using the word karma here. My belief is that karma is nothing more than cause and effect.

sad to say, but i can identify with your pessimistic views.
i wish i could think that most ppl are good & will work to improve the lot of their fellow humans. but we just have to look at history to see that this has never been the case & it is not the case today.
we could say that it's the greedy sociopaths that have Fckd up the world but why has the majority let them get away with it throughout history?

This is a rather bleak view of life in general and humanity in particular. I don’t really subscribe to it.....I would hate to live my life with your pessimistic view of my fellow human beings. Yes, of course there is selfishness and greed, and narcissism too, in today’s society...this is not new but is part of the human condition. However, there is also kindness and philanthropy and love too, because they are also part of the human condition. I am an optimist by nature, whereas it’s obvious that you are a pessimist, I’m glad I don’t always think the worst of people but take them at face value until I have reason to mistrust them. I think your view of people renders you unable to tell friend from foe and your attitude and suspicion of others’ motives would stop you from making friends. Friends, trust and love are what makes life worth living, we learn to trust others if we ourselves are trustworthy, it’s a two way relationship, whether it’s in our personal lives or in business. Your post has made me feel extremely sad, it is just so negative.

When I started my business, my goal was not to become wealthy, and I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.

I agree with you. Low expectations produce pleasing and surprising results. Most of our agony often comes from expecting and wanting more and it is never ending.

I am not religious but there is a verse in Bhagwat Gita which Hindus claim was written 4,500 years ago. It is the advice given by Lord Krishna on the battlefield to his follower, the archery expert Arjuna.

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते माफलेषुकदाचन ।
माकर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोस्त्वकर्मणि ।।

"You are entitled to do your duty and action, but never to the results of your actions.
Let not the results be your motivation, and do not be attached to laziness and inaction."

It basically means these were wise words someone wrote many years ago.

It's all good....the end

Welcome to finding the key to happiness. MANAGING EXPECTATIONS! If you can manage yours and others around you... You are all set! It sounds like you aren't managing them too well.

Don't worry about the bleak view you seem to have. You are on the right track. Half the people out there ARE morons! (I give you Trump's elevation to Fuhrer as living proof!) Feel better and just know that a huge bottleneck is coming eventually and will reset the clock. I hope I am around to witness it first-hand!

Where the important things of life are concerned, I exercise my best efforts and try to remain unattached to the outcome.

Do you have keys? For me keys to a door are the ultimate contradiction between optimism and pessimism. On the one hand one locks for fear that someone might enter, on the other hand one expects the door to remain in place.