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So today was 2 years sin and e my niece was killed by a drunk driver. She was born when I was 9 yrs old. She was my first baby.
I spent the day with memories flooding my heart and mind. And crying.
The anger i feel today is just as strong as the day it happened.
Guess you never quite heal but hopeful with time you learn to live with the pain.

Incognitohippy 5 July 22
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1

I'm so sorry. No, you never get over it. You do get to a point when you're able to live with it, even when it feels bad. But it's okay, you're allowed to grieve as much as you need to.

0

Drunk drivers are not getting the message of felony prison time for their INTENTIONAL RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT CRIMES that too often lead to murdered victims....vehicular homicide is similar to firing off many rounds of bullets in a densely populated neighborhood....the weapon will sooner not later murder innocent people....It will be 2 years January 11th an illegal alien drunk driver destroyed my life CIRCUMSTANCES wanting to retire in Myrtle Beach S Carolina....I personally want to throw him over OBAMAs wall and hope he falls paralyzed on the ground in Mexico....finishing OBAMAs wall is one promise TrumpOLINI should keep.....drinking Modelo by the gallon by night and busting union jobs by day building high rise condos in Myrtle Beach did not include sending money back home to Mexico to his poor family....I have never seen a highway safety ad or billboard against drunk driving in Spanish....how else can these murders be prevented?

I'm sorry you have had personal experience with drunk driving . I too live in SC. Our laws are a joke. I myself was hit by a drunk driver this past November. I'm still trying to recover.

@Incognitohippy Myrtle Beach has thousands of illegal aliens working building high rise condos....Duncan might have a few farm workers MEXICAN restaurants and motel maids but not that many rich people employ latino landscaping crews....I have a very good book to reccomend for you to help heal: " CRASH COURSE " by both Doctors Heller & Heller....if the library does not have it Amazon probably sells it for 5 bucks it's 20 years old but perfect to understand all the psychology of mourning grief flash backs revenge feelings hypervigilant driving acting out against your own family or friends....some of the above none of the above and guides you how to run your memory in slow motion instead of the jumble of fast feelings jerked around in a crash....deal with each broken down scene in slow motion restoring lost control of your normal body motions driving habits scanning visual necessities instead of unnecessary details burned into those seconds at the crash scene....healing truth strength and new skills

2

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would bring peace, or ease the suffering. But I recognize your pain, and respect it.

Something I've observed through my own grief, and in groups of others grieving loved ones... (my brother-in-law was one of the marines killed in KC130 breakup over Mississippi)... is that when someone comes into our lives, they come INTO our lives. They start to take over places in our hearts, nooks and crannies, any available spot. But then they start to 'become' those places.The "lines" between them and us blur and we start to think of them in terms of ourselves. And when they're ripped away, it's not that a "part" of us went with them... because we were knitted together. The very foundation of who we were at that moment is in tatters, because our foundation was built with them in it...

People use the word "heal," but I'm not sure that's the best word in this case. The spot that was them will never go away, and the pieces that were "us" never come back. But I learn to live in spite of all that. Like learning to live without a limb.

Two years or ten years, if you're still grieving, that's okay. Don't let anybody tell you how much time you have to grieve, or how to grieve, or to stop grieving outright. You're rebuilding your life, and that takes time. When people asked me how I was doing, I told them I was 'riding the wave.' When I was okay, I was okay. When I was a wreck, I was a wreck. When the waves were crazy, it was "hold on tight." When the sea was calm...I basked in that.

I hope you've got a good support system, because it helps so much. People who don't tell you what to do, but acknowledge your feelings, and acknowledge you.

I'm sorry at the loss of your brother in law.
Thank you so much for sharing your insight to grief.
I believe your words will help me. Thank so much h.

2

Yup but takes time more than 2 years

bobwjr Level 10 July 23, 2019
4

It’s difficult and my heart goes out to you, but I can only say in comfort that the passage of time should ease the pain. Try to let go of the anger because it’s a negative force which will only do you harm, and will not achieve anything positive. Next year I suggest you plan to do something that she would have loved doing, or plant a rose bush or tree in her memory instead of feeling angry and crying. I recently lost my son, who took his own life, not the same circumstance, but the grief and anger are similar. I try to keep positive and not dwell too much on the loss, as to give in to it would be destructive to my wellbeing.

I'm sorry about your son. I'm sure that was a very painful time.
Thank you for the ideas. I most definitely will try some of them.
My anger is mostly at the drunk drive and our state's laws. This was the mand 6th DUI and the 3rd death he had caused because of drinking and driving. And of course he didn't get a scrach.
My anger with my state is the lack laws for drug think drivers. We fought to get him jail time. They almost gave him probation again. I have no doubt this man would of drove drunk again if he was out.
He got 25 yrs will have to do at least 16 before he can apply to get paroled. And if I'm alive I will fight that also.
Anyway thank you again.

@Incognitohippy Try to keep positive...at least he’s behind bars for the foreseeable future.

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