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Why should agnostics/atheists hide this about themselves?

So many times in here, and in life, I see people posts encouraging people to NEVER share that they are atheist/agnostic or whatever non-believer moniker you choose to use. Particularly in a place of employment. As a Canadian who works in academia, I do not feel this pressure, but I see many in the US being told this and many on this site give this advice to others who are questioning.

I have had religious idiots say the most ridiculous things to me at work. I fail to understand why their delusions are tolerated and yet my belief in science and reason is supposed to remain hidden.

I stubbed my bare toe on a recycle bin at work and said, "jesus christ that hurt!" My colleague who was in the kitchen at the time said, "yes, he loves you too". I said excuseme?!?..she said "oh nothing".

WHY is it okay for delusionals to share their crap but I am expected to be ashamed of being a sane, forward thinking, intelligent, and scientific thinking woman?

kodimerlyn 6 Aug 3
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47 comments

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2

I just never make an issue out of it, like my vegetarianism. They eat they eat, I eat what I eat.
Same thing.
If they say something like, "Have a blessed day," I say, "Thanks."
If they, "Jesus loves you," as if expecting me to reply in kind, as if to return the 'secret handshake,' I might say, "That'd be nice."
If they pursue it (rare) and insist, "You don't think so?" I might rejoin, "Well, it'd nice, right? That's what I said." And laugh.
I just don't engage.
If you want to, go ahead.

8

Because they are prejudice people and vindictive

Give that man a cigar.

7

Where we live (rural southeastern US), people around me HAVE been fired for suspected or known disbelief. My children were ostracized by friends and teachers for my disbelief or for their daring to question christian/historical claims. These are not exaggerations or hysterics, but what happens with a majority comprised of poorly educated religious bullies. Be glad if you live where disbelief is not feared and reviled by most, as it is here.

Zster Level 8 Aug 3, 2019

I was fired for wearing a pagan symbol-a Brighid’s Cross. Of course, that’s wasn’t the stated reason. It was fine that Xtian posters etc were all over the workplace, but my crooked sunwheel was just too much.

Never forget Bill Moore marching from Alabama to Jackson Mississippi 1963 carrying the sign : Atheists For Civil Rights ....then murdered by xians before he got there

@CarolinaGirl60 What area of the country did you work in at the time? I'm curious.
Also that's LOUSY!

I have to admit the worst I've experienced in New England was a presumption of "sameness" - which is somewhat annoying.

It's also similar to what those who are LGBTQ+ experience - "oh you aren't one us".
It's a casual harassment that comes unexpectedly.

Death by a thousand paper cuts if you're around predominantly religious folk.

@RavenCT NC, not far from Charlotte. I usually kept the necklace under my scrubs but it fell out and a patient noticed it. I just called it an ‘Irish Cross’ since that’s how Catholics describe it(Patrick converted the goddess Brighid to St. Bride, same symbols). I was confronted by director of nursing and I stated the equality policy, backed up by administration.
A few weeks later, late at night, the director of nursing cooked up a HIPPA violation. I tried to fight it, and finally she said: just go quietly and we’ll give you a good reference.
I gave up at that point. It sucked big time.

@RavenCT
I ordered this one...from a nunnery in Ireland. Lol.

@CarolinaGirl60 Makes me want to dope slap them for you. That's just awful.

@RavenCT Thank you! Weasels are probably dried up; that was 25 years ago. A gal can hope, anyway!

6

It feels like, to be accepted in society — and not be completely ostracized — we need to hide our non-belief. It blows.

6

While I agree with the spirit of your post, the way things work in the US these days, is yes you have the right to express yourself but you can be subject to consequences. A lot of states are ‘at will’ employment states and employers can fire an employee for no reason. And with social media it doesn’t take very long for things to get around.

That does not justify American barbarity - it simply explains why, like the Muslims, many of you want to convert the rest of world into your religious and economic slaves.

Thank you Brian for telling the truth how Democrats have betrayed unions in 27 states now with the official falsehood RIGHT TO WORK really means steal from your union representation without paying dues....Rethuglicans have long since Eisenhower ended lip Service to job security....of course it was Ike who put IN gawd WE TRUST on all our money 1955

6

I never hide my atheism from anybody. When Christians start spouting religious nonsense, I say:

"I have been an atheist since age 13. I chose rational thinking, not magical beliefs."

This shuts them up.

6

I also don't understand that. I too am Canadian, & have never kept my atheism a secret from anyone. They don't like it, then don't swing in my yard..

I didn’t think it was a problem in Canada. I am only aware that it is a general culture in Bible Belt USA. Is this wrong?

@Geoffrey51 Not like the US, but there are places who frown on reality. I have not, however, heard of lives being endangered because of it, just the snooty looking down their noses at non believers, or ostracising people.

@Lilac-Jade okay. Snooty is as snooty does. They can easily be put to one side. Thanks, didn’t think the rest of the world’s Christians were as paranoid as them good’ole boys down south!

@Geoffrey51 They're worse by everything I've heard, but I don't assiciate with any here if I can help it. I live in a small city, & its not an issue here.

@Lilac-Jade That’s good news🤓

@Geoffrey51 Most places are good, its just the little pockets here & there.....quite different from what I hear/see of the US.

@Lilac-Jade I'm in rural Alberta and even here religion/belief or lack thereof is not a big deal. I'm a little surprised reading many cases here where agnostics/atheists in the US need to hide their non-belief.

@graceylou Yes its quite different here compared to the US south where sometimes your life is at risk. I don't know of any place here in Canada where that extreme is an issue. Ostracizing, or ignoring happens but that's about all as far as I've heard. Parents can get carried away with religious punishments, but that is not the norm here.

@Lilac-Jade Exactly. I’m more likely to be crucified for being vegan in beef country. Blasphemous!!!!

@graceylou I'm continually flabergasted when people cannot, or will not mind their own business.

5

Because when you share it at work you are lowering your chances at promotions and other Financial benefits. You definitely have the right just as much as the Christians do to say what you feel and believe but no one promotes someone that makes them feel unsure about something they want to believe in.

5

We shouldn't hide who we are. If those of us who do hide would stop hiding, it would be a lot better for everyone, and the religious nutjobs would have to deal with us on an even playing field, as they would soon realize there are far too many of us to dismiss any longer. If we showed our true numbers, no employer or government agency or home leasing agency or bank or anyone would dare discriminate against us for fear of legal reprisals. In fact, if we showed our true numbers, there would be corporations vying to cater to us to expand their target demographics and broadening their customer bases. In other words, they would finally treat us like everyone else. And, as a transwoman, I simply refuse to let anyone, or even everyone if that be the case, tell me who I am ALLOWED to be. I decide who I am, and I am not ashamed of it. I and I alone. I bow to no man, nor god, nor country. We should all be brave enough to stand up for ourselves and others.

5

We could start with - Did you see the latest mass shooting? 19 dead, 11 injured. Followed quickly by right to fire, I mean, right to work states.... As unreasonable as it seems, we have to be extremely aware of what we say & who we say it to.

Therein lies a path to neurosis and psychosis when thought police dictate the limits of free speech.

5

I don't hide my atheism, but I also don't advertise it. I just feel religion (or lack of religion) isn't subject to discussion.

4

Cause the majority dictates what's socially acceptable. And the majority is a group of insane people who believe magic is real.

Edu_0 Level 4 Aug 5, 2019

I think you're right. Here in Brazil, depending of the place, people wil throw a tantrum if you say you don't believe in any god

4

It's not about shame, it's about self preservation.

I consider myself lucky to live in Britain, where being an atheist does not place you at risk of harm or misfortune. There are other nations and places, however, where that is just not the case.

In bible-belt US, declaring yourself an atheist can certainly do harm to your career prospects - and potentially could result in actual, physical or psychological harm. In some of the muslim nations of the middle east it can actually result in your death.

In Britain, and I believe in Canada and many other 'sensibly secular' nations, there is no reason NOT to be open - but sure as hell, in other places, there really are reasons to keep quiet.

I have been told horror stories of atheists and LGBT folks living in the buybull belt south - they can get fired from jobs if they are outed - and of course the bosses make up something about their work not being good enough. I have read of LGBT folks who are heavily closeted to avoid physical or mental harm - even to the point of pretending to have a partner of the opposite gender, just lying all the time and living in fear of getting found out. It sounds dreadful.

4

It is easy to say when one doesn't live in a place where religion almost rules everything. Not everyone can afford to stand up for not believing.

Sadly my experience living amongst proclaimed godbotherers was that I did not need to proclaim that I was not a godbotherer. Being a stranger was enough to set their antagonistic xenophobia off.

@FrayedBear That is like living in a village for 20 or more years and still be seen as the newcomer.

@Jolanta Exactly my situation only I have been in the village ten years and the country for 5 or six years longer than the average age according to the latest statistics. I have recently been told by a fellow member that in his opinion even the Federal Court discriminated against me. I know the local police (perjury) and magistrates making judgement based on perjured evidence did only several years ago.

@FrayedBear So where are you from?

@Jolanta I am resident in Australia.

@FrayedBear I know, so am I but I am from somewhere else, so where are you from?

@Jolanta NW Lancashire.

@FrayedBear Ok, oh my little Pommy. Why did you ran away? Was the weather too bad for you?

@Jolanta Messaged you.

4

It isn't ok in the workplace. I work w/majority religious people & at luncheons, without fail, they say a blessing. I purposely absent myself from this group event.

I made it clear that I am not a religious person & choose not to participate. My coworkers are respectful & there is no snark or side mouth bs. Then again, I've made it clear I will utilize the HR process should someone harass me or create a hostile work environment.

You are possibly fortunate to also be female.

@FrayedBear I work with predominantly women (95%). I also work with predominantly African-Americans in a municipal/govt position. Why would my gender be an advantage? (Legit question, no sarcasm intended.)

Because African Americans and women have suffered most in racist USA jobs, they are less likely to target Atheists as do white xian boy bosses

@SallyInStitches In today's environment you are unlikely to be listened to or taken seriously if a man. The fact that you state that 95% of your workmates does tend to readily identify the discrimination occurring against men.

@FrayedBear I work for a government run public utility in the escalation area of front facing customer service (deals with a lot of issues such as bankruptcy, elderly customers who require additional assistance, social services cases. escalated customer complaints lodged w/city council or the mayors office, etc)

As I am sure you are aware, customer service positions of this nature tend to be predominantly staffed by women. It's not a day at work unless I am dealing with a crying or an emotionally overwrought customer.

Our standard, level 1 customer service group is pretty close to 50/50 men & women, depending on turnover/promotion.
Our techs who go out turning services off/on, doing repairs, etc are predominantly men.

Neither of these are cases of discrimination. It's an issue of long standing definitions if gender roles in this type of workplace. One could also make an argument that there is ageism in my workplace as 80% of the employees, including all the men are over the age of 45 yrs. That argument would be just as flawed & fallacious.

You may be lulled into thinking men are being ignored based on media focus of (rightly) women's issues of assault being brought to the fore. But that is a hyper focused spotlight on a single issue.

I'm not going into a long, & worn, dissertation on traditional male/female roles in industry, how they have changed. & how in many cases antiquated opinions of "the volatile/hormonal emotional states" of women or "the weaker vessel" syndrome negatively impact women as, from your ststements it appears you are not open to such considerations. If you were open to these considerations, you'd have already done your homework & I am not willing to lead/drag anyone down the path of enlightenment in this day & age of knowledge at your fingertips.

@SallyInStitches Interestingly or not I used to be in a service industry that had strict deadlines set by government. People would rush in demanding that there work that was now one week, two wweks etc. Overdue be immediately attended to. I would simply point to the lile of files in my intray and simply say "this is a first in best dressed service". These people had the foresight to book their work in months ago. Why should they be penalised because you are disorganised and have not properly scheduled your affairs?"
That is not being unsympathetic it is being fair.
Are you being fair in your statements that this and this are respectively a man or a woman's role? Or are you simply playing the me me, I'm indispensible card and now with me" I know better than you do" card? I know many men who have put women to shame in the so called traditional women's roles that they have undertaken just as I have known a few women who have spectacularly fulfilled men's roles.

@FrayedBear lovely strawman arguement, deflecting & projecting to sexism when the original issue is nonreligious discrimination in the workplace. This is my last comment on this topic as I know better than to beat a dead horse with someone who refuses to adhere to the off subject topic they started. I have neither the inclination, time, crayons or sock puppets to continue this fruitless debate. Have a good sunday.

@SallyInStitches It is Monday arvo now and a beautiful sunny one it is too. Thank you.

4

I never tell anyone to hide who they are.
My advice is usually, "be bold".
The delusional get to flaunt their beliefs.
I get to be "out" with my disbelief.
If they don't like it, they can kiss my dimpled ass.

Then again, I'm not afraid of anyone.
I generally won't back down when challenged.

3

I don't hide anything about myself, including my non-belief. Unlike many Christians, I don't publicize my non-belief (there is no need), if asked, or in a conversation about religion, I never hesitate to answer truthfully. I'm secure in who I am.

3

When it's man against the institution, man usually loses -- Charlie Brown.

When an employee does not embrase the beliefs of an organization, including the unwritten rules of which faith to endorse, they find a way to get rid of that employee.

It's hard to forget one woman who got fired for insisting on wearing her pentagram pendant.

3

I wouldn't be surprised if we were to discover that a large majority of elected officials are atheist or agnostic, and just pretending to be god fearing citizens because they need to if they want to secure votes. Likewise, because people don't trust atheists for whatever reasons it would be most beneficial to put on a face to prevent alienation. If your workplace is atheist friendly, this may not be necessary. If it isn't or you aren't sure, it may be wiser to not be the first penguin under the ice.

3

I have a feeling that you are alluding to a reply which I made in an earlier post, but I think you are completely distorting what I actually said. I did not say that atheists should be afraid to say that they don’t believe, what I did say was, that the workplace is not the place to have this discussion. I did say that I believe the workplace should be a neutral environment for everyone of all faiths and none. The best way to achieve that is not to get drawn into discussions about personal beliefs or lack of them. It is not okay for the religious to impose their beliefs any more than its right or sensible for you to tell them that they are talking crap.

But the Faithfools seem to think and believe that IT IS their sole right to be in the faces of others when and wherever they see fit, SO, why shouldn't 'turn about be fair game?'
After all, is not said that, "What is sauce for the Goose IS also sauce for the Gander?"

@Triphid I have never allowed anyone to get in my face with their religious beliefs without countering in some way, however, whilst saying that I have enough common sense to know when it may not be appropriate to be too vocal. The workplace should be a non-acrimonious, neutral environment, where religion and ethnicity are not turned into divisive issues. If you live and work in an area where most people are overtly religious and forthright in their views, it would not seem wise to raise the issue of your non-belief with them, unless absolutely necessary, especially if there was a risk of losing your job. I live in the UK, but the religious part...Northern Ireland, so I live and have worked with religious people most of my life, and know it is not a wise thing to discuss your religious beliefs or lack of them at work.

@Marionville Yes, I too have worked in such environs and have endured their religiosities time and time again and always found them so tediously repetitious.
When I worked on the railways we had a very devout Catholic who DEMANDED that everyone should join him in prayer before and after lunch break and Morning Tea ( Smoko) plus listen while he read out bible passages to everyone. IF anyone left the room or failed to pray he would send letters of complaint to the railway hierarchy.
We ended up nicknaming him "pigeon" ( short for Stool Pigeon) until, finally the Area Manager sent an order that NO Religious Services/Preaching/Prayers, etc, will be permitted in or around the Meal Room or the Workplace ever again. " Pigeon" immediately resigned from the job and we all ended up being able to eat and work in peace at last.

@Triphid I bet you were relieved.

@Marionville Relieved is an understatement.

3

There is no point unless you are going to try to convert them or you just want an argument. I don't and never have run around telling people what I do or don't believe.

3

If asked, I answer that I do not believe in any god or religion. But, I do not wear the fact on my sleeve as some seem to want to do. I never seek to goad or provoke anyone.

3

I don't make a big deal out of it. For years--nay decades, I've simply said, "I don't believe in it."

Horror stricken, they say, "You don't believe in God?!?"

In a calm voice with a smile, "I just don't believe in it."

Then, after three or four more shocks, I still continue to say, "I don't believe in it," and they usually give up. Shake their head. Walk away.

3

I do not hide my lack of belief;if people don't like it,tough😉

Sounds like the dislike and hatred some have of FrayedBears!😃

3

I'm quite open about my being an atheist. 🙂

I’ve lived in the south my whole life. Was Christian for 30 years and I never tell people I’ve left the faith. My younger brother has always been an atheist and I remember my mom whooping his ass when he said the Bible was bullshit. Better to remain silent than to kick the hornets nest. But I can see how ignorant the environmental I was raised in was.

2

It depends on your environment, you have to feel the waters before go all out. In some places, not being on a mainstream religion can mean social ostracism at minimum.
Plus, what is the point of generating a conflict with your 90 years old grandmother?

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