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I am curious what is the general consensus in this community on the notion of death and then the burial rituals that usually follow? My thoughts on funerals is generally I don't think I would want to attend my own so no real desire to attend others. As far as death goes, clearly people do die so there is death. But where do you, your essence, your soul, if you will, go? I just binge watched Netflix's The OA. Most interesting show regarding the concept of death...So for grins and giggles I just may explore this not so unlikely prospect. Your thoughts.

Maximai 6 Sep 2
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2

Imo, funerals are for the benefit of those left behind. It may help with closure or a way of saying good-bye to the dead loved one. I have no objection to funerals so long as they are about the loved one and aren't ostentatious.

5

My wife died 4 years ago. It really helped me when friends came to the funeral.

5

I think, honestly, when you die, it will be nothingness. There will be no awareness, no transition and certainly not heaven, hell or even samsara.

As for my treatment after death, I believe funerals and the accompanying pageantry are for the living, used as a coping mechanism for loss. My daughter has instruction to go as cheap as possible and, after cremation, to turn me into a tree (they have tree planting urns, apparently LOL).

Death is the primary purpose of Christians, the ultimate reunion, but also something they fight tooth and claw to avoid. Something I've never quite understood. If your goal is to meet God, why avoid the opportunities afforded you to do so?

5

Once I'm dead and gone , my dead body is no longer my concern . I do feel funerals have a place in our society . It marks the end of the life of someone who had an impact on our own lives . It's like a period at the end of a sentence , or an amen at the end of a prayer ( for the religious ) , or the credits at the end of a movie . It means , this one is now completed . It's time to start letting go .

4

When my father died I had no interest in seeing his body. I simply said that it is an empty vessel now. My father is no longer within it. For me he lives in my memories of him and the stories others gift me of there remembrance of him.

I practice lucid dreaming and about three times I've had dreams with my father. Conversations in fact, where we discuss challenges in my life and get his point of view. That or we simply enjoy each other's company.. my best dream is we are in Maui on a beach sipping drinks taking in the sun, people watching. occasionally I or my father would comment on people, either what they are wearing or doing.. It can go on for most of the night.. though when I am lucky to have such dreams.. I wake up crying..

For me, I prefer the idea that consciousness is a form of matter. That our and every living thing manifests and holds a piece of this matter from a higher dimensional plane for however long the entity exists and upon death the construct holding it releases it back into a higher plane to be reabsorbed.

This "life" is but one of an infinite number existing in multiple realities and multiple constructs all separate for a time to form matter and once released become one again as a universal matter.

The omnivese is a single consciousness.

4

The most entertaining funeral I've seen was on a show called Northern Exposure. It involved a catapult. Funerals are for the living. Mine will have an open bar and a thrash Metal band.

3

Funerals are not about the one who is dead, they are about those who still live.

To be blunt I couldn't give a flying damn about what happens to my body after I die. From a purely personal level, just dump it in the trash and have done - it is 'discarded packaging, no longer of value'.

However I DO care, a great deal, about the feelings of those I love and care for - so actually I would want there to be a funeral of some ilk, not for me but for THEM.

What happens to my corpse only matters in as much as those I love feeling it's 'right' - my only personal limitation being that I don't want to be turned into an unwilling, deceased hypocrit by having a religious funeral.

3

I wish all funerals would be secular. A funeral does provide some closure, so I do go to funerals of my loved ones. I just try not to barf when religion is brought into it.

3

I want my ashes mixed with concrete and formed into a bench i designed. When people miss me, they can come sit on me and have a useful monument. That way after life i can still have a contribution to others comfort🙂

@Winkiedink54 hahahaha.

3

I think a memorial gathering of some sort is useful for survivors to mark the end of a loved one's life. It can be nice to share memories, especially if you haven't been in close touch with other survivors. It certainly needn't be the typical funeral.

I will probably choose cremation for myself and would be ok if others just got together to party a bit in remembrance of me.

3

I wish older atheist once told me that he attends funerals to see old friends. If consider them like a reunion of sorts, they are manageable.

3

Since the "dearly departed" are dead and, therefore, cannot object or approve, I've always been of a mind that funerals are for those left behind. Whatever gives my loved ones solace is okay with me, except burial. I'm not claustrophobic or stationary, so being entombed underground forever is an abhorrent thought. I don't want anyone feeling obliged to visit a cemetery to think of me. Better to be scattered at sea, from a mountain, or made into jewelry so they can think of me at will, not a special place.

3

I don't believe that I have a "soul" to go anywhere. That invisible essence that is me lives in my brain and is gone when I die. There is no god that breathed into me for me to become a soul, or to give me a soul. I have no other "home" that I am going to, singing about, or will be so happy to get to. I am, however, a tiny part of a very large whole that we call our universe.

As for funerals, I hate them but I go when I have to to show support for others. Most often if I can, I simply go to the funeral home to sign the book of the person who died. I did that once in Texas at a friend's wife's viewing and Roger caught me. I explained that nobody has the right words. People start talking and sometimes you just want to strangle them. They talk without even knowing the person. Roger cried and just hugged my neck for a while. He knew what I meant.

3

A funeral isn't necessarily for you (the person being buried) but more for the people who are burying you. It's a way for them to say goodbye and share memories about you with others.

If you don't feel like attending funerals then that's fine, but expect possible push back from some people since not attending could be construed as showing disrespect for the deceased and/or his/her family. Maybe just give a heads up to why you won't be attending i.e. religious tones make you uncomfortable, you'd rather say goodbye in private and in your own way, etc.

My belief is that when we die, we're gone. We don't have an essence or soul that will go to another place. We don't dream for eternity. We just shut off. No more thoughts, dreams, or consciousness.

As far as my funeral, I haven't thought about it much. As of now, I would prefer the tree pod burial outside, no churches or religious tones. Maybe I should put down in a will to hire someone to attend my funeral and keep it non-religious. If a family member decides to talk god, heaven/hell, or anything like that, then have the hired person grab the microphone from that family member and shove them to the side. hahaha

You beat me to it 🙂

Yes, it's about closure and moving on for those who remain alive. A celebration of a life, but also marking the end of it. Even without any religious significance, I think funerals are still meaningful and useful. Especially if it's someone you were close to. Perhaps funerals have greater meaning as an atheist, because you're not sold on the false promise that they're sitting on a cloud somewhere, patiently waiting for you to join them.

2

I personally don't believe I "go" anywhere and I think people "go" wherever they think they're going in their own minds. If I know my end is near, I'd love to have one last get together with friends and family. I do believe in "death with "dignity" and I've already arranged to donate my body.

2

I don’t think our essence, energy, or soul exists without a body in any recognizable form. There’s nothing in the bodily vessel that will know or remember if I’m there or not. I don’t like going to funerals and will skip them if possible. Funerals are for the living and help some people grieve or get closure probably. If among those people is anyone I really love who would be comforted by my presence, I’ll go. I don’t get any such benefit though, and I’m mostly made to feel much worse by the religious platitudes. Ritual has its place but these are not my rituals. Tradition is peer pressure from dead folks. Mostly I think they’ve had their time and wouldn’t want me wasting mine.

2

To me, memorial services are best. The body is just a hunk of carbon, either burn it up or donate to medical schools

2

I'd like to think that your "soul" goes somewhere... But the jury is still out. Funny though... I just went through a cemetery to see if there were still any open spots. Its a very old cemetery in a town I grew up in. It's been around since the late 1600's. To my surprise they still have open spots for $1500 each. I was thinking about buying a plot and paying for my headstone now. I was thinking of a tall pyramid and inscribe something like... "Don't laugh... YOU are next!"

Gotta have a little fun in life... and death!

2

There is a valid reason to bury your dead. It's to prevent disease. Even poppers are. Friend worked at a graveyard. They are buried in a corner in an unmarked grave.

The word you want is, "paupers". And no, it is not necessary to bury the dead to prevent disease. Small numbers of dead would be taken care of by nature, just as are the dead deer that are common here in Michigan along the highways...they are left to rot and the scavengers and they do not cause "disease". Burial is a social custom not a biological imperative. Also, there is always cremation.

@dahermit 1349...

@TheGreatShadow Addendum: Dead human bodies are only a source of disease in LARGE NUMBERS. Burial traditions were about an individual death or two.

2

We need public Cryogenics storage facilities. That way, we could send our precious bodily essences to be frozen for posterity, and we could all enjoy 'eternal life'.

Eternal Frozen Life - Burr. But yeah, I that might be an option to explore. Except wouldn't that take up space and very likely cost a bit more than most could or maybe even want to justify. But certainly a thought.

2

I hate to tell you this, but you may end up attending your own funeral ! [shit happens]

mzee Level 7 Sep 3, 2019

LOL, Not if my kids do what I ask. I am to be cremated I will have all arrangements handled. {But then I think of the movie "Heaven Can Wait" - what if I want to come back because of mistaken death LOL} I have requested not to be buried and no service of any kind. It is stupid ridiculous the cost to die these days. So, the kids can do whatever they want - that is fine if they need that. Just leave me out of it. 😀

My digital clone will attend my biological body's funeral.

2

Going to a funeral isn't something that I want to do. It's something that I have a duty to do - showing support for the surviving family, and out of respect for the departed.

2

Bad news. You will not be able to avoid attending your own funeral.

2

I believe that funerals or memorial services are twofold: to pay respects to the family/survivor of the dead, and to say goodbye. I want to be cremated, and my ashes spread somewhere that was special to me. I would be pleased (were I alive to know) if there was a memorial for me after my death, and I would hope that people could talk about the fun and good things I had done with my life. I would hope that my family and friends would think kindly of me, and then move on with their lives. As for me? I will be dead, unaware of anything beyond the moment of my death, and I will be in tiny, ashy pieces, fluttering around the ground, and hopefully offering some recycled nourishment to the earth.

2

Funerals are for the living to honor the life of the person who passed and to acknowledge their passing. It was very healing for me to be able to speak at my mother's funeral last year. As for my own, whatever they do they do, I won't be here to experience it.

2

I have instructed my wife and daughters that when I die, there is to be no funeral, no kind of service or ceremony of any kind. My ashes are simply to be scattered near a lake I fished in often, and simply the "Ashoken farewell" is to be played, with only my two daughters and, if she survives me, my wife.

I am with you on this. I don't want any crowds or fanfare. Besides, I honestly don't believe many people other than my boys will give a hoot if I'm here or not. I know lots of people but the older I've gotten I have become somewhat of a hermit. Rather sad really, but there it is.

@Gulcheher No, it is not without cost to my family.. I called the University of Florida medical school, and they said that my family would have to pay for the embalming before they would accept my body.

@wordywalt Actually, I think that is the way it is here in GA as well. My in-laws checked into it and the cost was about the same as a no-frills simple burial.

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