why not? some people are more polyamorous and some are more monogamous oriented... I see it as a spectrum not something that is definite and "hard-wired" into all humans.... and if you are speaking from a purely sexual, procreation stance.... think of asexuals... are they more suited to monogamy than sexual people?

If there is enough give and take you can make a marriage last. The key is learning that often you give more. But often you will take more. It's not a balanced scale. But it's a workable scale.

@demifeministgal I’d consider our primate behavior, and from what I’ve learned of that, no such long-term monogamous relationships exist.. It also appears, lacking the sexual draw ..we’d likely kill each other.

For me, we drew closer with a shared goal. With that goal met (children), we gravitated to personal goals, thus drifting apart. Lacking the need or desire to reproduce (responsibly), long-term relationships appear more codependent than lasting mutual attraction.

@ProudMerrie I’d have prolonged mine, too.. But looking back, I’d have further wasted a large portion of my life. She moved on to another husband, and I’m free. Had it not cost me my family homestead … I might even celebrate.. I can do long-term ..that’s what scares me

@freeofgod It was the giving that took me.. A caregiver, when my love & attention was eventually split between her and two children, apparently it was no longer enough for her. But I gave all I had. It was not an equal r/s, but that wasn’t her fault, we married too young, and the wrong person…

@Varn So in your assessment then the childfree couples out there do not have actual love and lasting attraction but are based off of nothing more than co-dependence? what a bleak worldview

@demifeministgal There’s a love bond attraction that apparently wears out. It’s nearly impossible for me to think of anyone who hasn’t had a divorce, or two. Children appear to simply prolong the inevitable.

Your implication that this is my choice, or that reality is altered by my conclusions smack of projection, or blame.. I struggle emotionally and socially as most, tis not my wish or desire, but my observations and experience that frame such conclusions.

@Varn My generation may do better... we have the lowest divorce rates in recent generations and we delay or avoid marriage altogether for common law relationships and are having fewer or no kid(s)... we may shine a new future of coupledom you may have never imagined!

Whew! Glad to hear that. I was starting to feel a little panicky there.