What did your mother want? That is all that needs to happen.

At least you’re able to be there with her can be a comfort to you and her. If you can, just try to tune most of the baloney out. Hugs and condolences to you.

I was raised in a Jewish household, so I know where you are coming from. There is definitely a lot of mumbo jumbo, symbolism and all kinds of incantations that seem so bizarre. I never got it or saw any rhyme or reason. I can’t relate at all regarding your mother as mine was severely mentally disturbed and abusive throughout my childhood and she will never be forgiven by me for it. You’ll get through it and the sun will come up tomorrow.

It is everyone's right to believe whatever they want to believe, nonsensical or not, as long as they try not to force it on others, and no one is under any obligation to accept the beliefs, nonsensical or not, of any other individual or group.

It gives them comfort in thinking they are helping.

Let them.

When dealing with things like this, I keep in mind that people are in emotional pain and trying to deal with the death the best they can. It helps me cope better, even if they are not.

I’m so sorry. I had to do a lot of private venting after both my mother(complicated relationship) and then my dearly loved brother’s deaths. So much Xtian claptrap, and I was afraid there was going to be an actual altar call at the funerals.
Hang in there, breathe, and in the aftermath, care for yourself most kindly.

Oh gosh ... losing a Mom is difficult enough without having to deal with everyone else's ideas on how to do it. I feel for you, truly. I wish for your Mom a peaceful passing, and for you - as easy a process as possible.

When I lost my Mom, I had to stand back and watch my Sister, and her family do their "born again" thing all around me. Not one of my fondest memories !

Hang in ...

As my wife was dying, I had to sit through all the Catholic last rites hocus-pocus. When she did eventually die, I just wanted to sit with the body for a while in silence, but then my best friend (a New Ager like your wife) wanted to perform a ritual similar to the one you described. My mother-in-law got all up in arms about it, and I told her, "Why not? It's not any more ridiculous than the Catholic bullshit." Didn't help family relations, I don't guess, but my tolerance for that kind of stuff is limited. Sorry you had to go through it, too.

The only wishes that matter at this juncture are those of the dying person. We bite our tongues.

Very sad your mother is dying, and you are subjected to the religious mumbo jumbo. We are here for you when you need to vent.

Sorry for your situation.
We're here if you need.
Be gentle with yourself, and hang in there.

Do what feels important to you - not to the herd. Even if that means clearing the room to yourself for 10 mins..
I am sorry for what you are going through loss isn't easy - loss with nonsense is hard.

everybodys pet nonsense is important ... to them. all you can do is let it flow past. Hope that at the end you and your mother are ok with everything.

I let everyone do their ritual at my morher’s funeral. It didn’t bother me. To each their own.

Sorry for your loss. I am sure your mother is taking comfort in your presence.

their nonsense IS important -- to them. they are coping with a traumatic and emotional experience. their woo won't hurt you, and might ease your mother's last moments. if she objected that would be one thing, but if she doesn't -- it's HER death, not yours. let the others be.

when my mom was dying she said she thought she might meet dad in heaven. i didn't argue with her. i wanted her to feel as peaceful and unafraid as she could and that was what she believed. how did this hurt me or her? i didn't say oh yes, you'll meet him, but i didn't argue or try to dissuade her. what would have been the point?

g

p.s. i am awfully sorry you are losing your mom. try to ease her last moments if you can. your healing will take longer but it will happen.

You are doing well respecting your mother’s wishes. Best not to get sucked into commenting on the other’s rituals. As dear ole George said around 1970, “all things must pass”

When I was in the hospital for heart surgery, a Catholic priest was hanging out for a whole week. Then I knew I was in for deep trouble, he was after my soul.

Started having deep conversation and express my veiws on life and spiritual thoughts. Next day he sent his trainee in and he was much more helpful.

I'm sorry. You are the one with the pain of her loss. Other people should not make it worse.

Everyone grieves differently. Those people around you who are driving you crazy: consider how they each need a contrivance or a crutch to sustain them, and you don't. You are stronger, more free, and more fortunate than they are. Perhaps knowing that will help you endure.

My condolences.

I’m so very sorry about your mother. It’s doubly harrowing because you’re losing her and feel alone in the way you’re processing it. <<hugs>>

I'm sorry for loss. That's a tough position to be in, and feel at odds with those around you. I'm sure the emotions are a wide gamut of feelings. All I can really say is we all feel for your situation and wish you comfort.