Stereotypes
What good or bad stereotypes have you experienced in your life?
I am NOT referencing the "you're a heathen, non-believer" stereotypes. We've all experienced those so it would be redundant to have that discussion.
My inquiry references stereotypes such as, I was an English major in college. Everyone assumes I want to be a teacher and that I'm a Grammar Nazi. I love children but I love the English language so much that, if I had to grade papers filled with texting speak, I'd end up in the loony bin, for an extended stay this time.
I'm not a Grammar Nazi. I have a learning disability in math- Dyscalculia. I have difficulty doing simple math. So, why would I critique someone's English usage when they could turn around and do the same to me for still counting on my fingers for simple addition/subtraction problems?
I've had people assume I'm straight and you get treated differently when people think you're heterosexual. On the flip side, if I wear a pride shirt or something of the like, people assume I'm a lez. Ummmm, there are other categories, ya know. And, even if I were lez, it doesn't mean I hate men so WTF did you just run away???
I've had women accuse me of being a baby hater because I'm 37 with no children. Um, I have a medical condition which would require multiple expensive IVF treatments to have children. It kills me every day to know I'll never be a mother.
People assume that because I'm tall, I play sports. I become a bumbling, stumbling idiot at the mere mention of participating in sports.
People assume I eat everything in sight because I'm obese (just had a doctor's appointment and am now officially morbidly obese at 300 lbs). But, half the time, I don't eat due to sheer exhaustion or my depression makes me just not care.
People assume I'm young so I must be relatively healthy. I've had people get mad at me for moaning in pain- "you're young! What are you whining for?" They don't believe me when I start listing off my medical issues.
People assume I must be mooching off the government because I receive food stamps, government housing and am currently applying for SSDI. I am constantly fighting this one by speaking to my education, awards, certificates, newspaper articles, broadcast news, speaking engagements and the number of political figures and celebrities I've met.
Because I lived in the hood, I had to be an easy woman with a heavy addiction to drugs, alcohol or both.
But, there are a couple of good stereotypes. Yes, they exist. Or, at least, "stereotypes" I'm proud to say are true.
I am a natural redhead. People assume I'm of Irish lineage, which I am.
I'm sure everyone here knows all the stereotypes about redhead's and their fierce tempers, among other things. Those are true, in my case.
The stereotypes associated with my astrological sign- Virgo. I'm proud of them.
The assumption I'm a sweet, innocent, little girl and the absolute hilarity of watching their eyes bug out when I show them what a devil I can be. LMFAO!!!
OMG wall of text incoming...I do this way too often >-< (hey @admin, it italicizes the whole rest of this paragraph when I type an underscore)
I guess I'll do a tldr version, since I imagine most people will be unlikely to read it all lol:
Blonde ones, which I absolutely hate. Don't mind glasses being nerdy/geeky stereotype. Don't like the stereotypes of being a Capricorn, but most people (as well as myself) don't really abide by them in regards to me anyways. Being relied on to understand women's irrational shit because I'm a woman. I guess maybe not understanding men because I'm a woman - fortunaely don't seem to have run into much of men thinking I'm incompetent or stupid or whatever...though now that I think about it, there are a bunch of pretty minor times. Nothing else that I was made aware of, I don't think.
The blonde stereotypes - mostly dumb or shallow, which I despise. Glasses I guess, though I'm just fine with being called nerdy or geeky.
Astrological sign of Capricorn, which most people are surprised by and rightly so cuz I don't even consider it correct most of the time. I'm starting to become more ambitious cuz I've become less depressed, anxious, socially inept and a lot more motivated (which means I'm sometimes motivated slightly - huge jump from never xD) but I doubt I'll ever be anywhere near carrer-oriented to the point of being a workaholic (unless I get a job rescuing animals...then, well, I can't promise anything lol) or at the expense of caring for those I love. There's others that I don't fit but my brain won't recall them right now - but suffice to say that it's most of the traits listed. -rolls eyes-
Probably something to do with sexes...that because I'm a woman I understand women. I generally don't, cuz my brain is geared more towards that of a neurotypical man's. Men have said "you wouldn't get it, it's man stuff" or something along those lines to me before, long time ago though. But as long as it wasn't society's bullshit "man stuff" (shallow talk about beer and sports and titties and nothing else at all really with their man "friends" ) then I'm sure if they told me that I then got it lol.
I feel like there's some other small little instances of stuff that have happened to me - just weird/judgemental looks or some such. I can only think of one thing, and that's that often when I'm immediately around a lot of black people (on the bus closer too and in the city, there's like literally just one or two white people other than me, and one or two every other time of a hispanic person or something) or in the inner city (or atleast where I see very few white people, just in general), I get a lot of...crap, I cannot for the life of me think of words today. This always happens on adderall. Covert, I suppose, looks from people, or ocassionally even a few-seconds-long stare. I KNOW there's something related to that that I've definitely been stereotyped for my white skin before...and I cannot remember it at all. It has yet to present a real problem, so that's a big part of why, I'm sure.
I'm sure there's some I'm forgetting, like especially little things like what I last described, and I'm sure there's been lots of unspoken stereotypes - I dress kind of like a slob in public sometimes, or maybe even have looked homeless (I've dressed in sweatpants, beaten sneakers and I have a coat way too big for me - though the coat is SUPER nice and the sweatpants look nice for sweatpants lol, usually not super baggy and not dirty or anything).
Pale skin, freckles, no make-up, my short hair now...even when I had long hair, I would ocassionally get questions like "do you want to be a man" or statements like "you look like a man", or I'd be mistaken for a boy all the way into 10th grade in one instance, though mostly in middle school (me looking like a man was really when I was fat and very unnatractive - my fat distributes very evenly, which makes it easier in some ways to lose, but on my neck and face that did not look nice, to put it lightly lol). Hrm...nope, can't think of anything else.
Yes, I read all if it but, I'm at work so no time to respond to any specifics. Thank you for sharing.
Fellow Virgo here-have had two relationships with male Virgos-never chastised for being a Virgo but have been sterotyped as such by exes and strangers.:
Being Jewish in NH where you can count Jewish people on your fingers. When I was 13 years old on a 3 day canoe trip met local who asked "Does your father drive a Cadillac?" Naive me retorted "no he drives a Lincoln." First time enco
untered anti-Semitism.
Briefly worked-3 years ugh- for insurance company as a clerk in marketing dept. My supervisor was prejudiced vs those college kids because she never went.
My parents owned their own business and we ate out three times a week. Two of my exes used to tell me I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth.
Being blonde-dumb blonde jokes over the year.
Cancer survivor-has scared friends away and potential dates sometimes cancel second date.
@sassygirl3869 Please clarify. Are you saying you consider the Virgo stereotypes as good or bad?
I don't recall if I ever knew any Jewish people growing up. I do remember a conversation with a friend in college (which was only five years ago). We went to a Methodist college which had strayed from adhering to religious practices just to increase their student body. I'd experienced the college and it's students, faculty and staff to be relatively open-minded. I was horrified when my friend told me some of what he'd experienced as a Jew attending a Christian college. I can't imagine.
Sadly, out of jealousy, I'd probably have the same reaction as your exes since I grew up in poverty.
I've said/shared many a blonde joke in my life. I guess I automatically assumed that y'all let it roll off you since I've heard all the redhead tropes and don't generally let them affect me. And, being the granddaughter of a fiercely proud Texas A&M Aggie, I've heard all the Aggie jokes, as well. My grandfather and I both just laugh and let it go.
I've never heard of cancer survivors having those experiences. I thought most people were rather respective of those with cancer, or survivors, since cancer has, in one way or another, affected each and every one of us.
Some Virgos are neat freaks, highly organized, make lists often, caring and loving-I have trouble being a neat freak and being highly organized but the other traits fit.
I grew up in a town that was over 50% Jewish outside of Boston. I went to a YMCA Camp that took us mtn climbing and white water canoeing in NH and ME which have really rural living. I didn't know at 13 that these people had never seen a Jewish person before-naive.
Cancer-just the word-is scary to some people. Some people are ignorant
@sassygirl3869 LMFAO!!!! I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you but because you just described me. LOL I'm mildly OCD. I don't wash my hands twenty times a day but I definitely keep my house clean and organize things so automatically, it's like breathing. LOL I don't do the lists, except for groceries. And, extremely caring/loving. LOL
Maybe it wasn't so much naivete but the people in your life probably should've let you know there are other types of people in the world.
I can't imagine being scared of someone with cancer. I'm definitely scared when I hear the diagnosis in someone I know (a friend just passed two days ago) extremely scared I'll have cancer one day due to multiple medical ailments which are medically considered "pre-cancer" if not closely monitored. But, to not want to associate with someone because of their illness...... unfathomable.....
I have had "long" hair since my teens. So I must be a hippy throwback or some sort of hoodlum. Later in my adulting years, mid to late 20's, I must be a musician or still a throwback to a bygone era of peace and love. I say "throwback" because I was closer to being born in the "Summer of Love", than having taken part in it. I have been told I look like most every rock star causal fans of popular music can remember the name of. Such disparate persons as, John Lennon, Alice Cooper, Robert Plant, Slash and even more. If you have never had it happen to you and you see someone that reminds you of someone famous, Don't do it. To be honest I have found most such comparisons at least a little insulting.
@caprikious I'm sure you have way too many stories to tell of rude people commenting on your hair. There's also the stereotype that men shouldn't have long hair because it's effeminate and if you do have long hair, you must be gay or want to be a woman. Personally, I've usually loved long hair on men, especially if they care for it properly.
Same here - one of my exes was a musician and it was long and my other ex had hair longer than mine-down his back. I used to brush it and braid it.
@Melbates You know the story girl! "Excuse me young lady" I have heard this many times and not by accident either and worse as you might suppose.
@sassygirl3869 My wife and now my current partner both like(d ) that too. But I like it too! Not so much the braids. Oh but Jr. High and High school, all those tender hands on my head....such were the joys...
@CapriKious honestly, there are some men who just don't look good with short hair/bald. Recently saw an ex who'd shaved his tresses and couldn't believe how ugly he looked without them.
@Melbates Fortunately, I have never had that problem...
A long time ago when I finished high school I had the best possible academic results, which automatically qualified me to get into medicine. Apparently everyone wanted to get into medicine, so they all assumed that I was doing that. They were all confused when I said that I wasn’t. Not a single person considered that I would want to do engineering.
When I came out as transgender, everyone assumed that I wanted to look as femme as possible. My favorite clothes are jeans and t-shirt.
Most of the world does not know that I’m trans. They assume that because I’m married then I must have a husband.
In the wake of coming out, everyone presumed that my wife and I would break up. She is sitting on the sofa next to me.
When people meet my wife and me they presume that we must be lesbians. We’re both straight and have not been intimate with each other for years. We’re still best friends though.
When I date and disclose that I’m trans, men automatically assume that I have male anatomy. The suggestions they make are disturbing and horrid. I’m quite grateful that I do not meet their expectations.
I work in software. Most men who meet me presume that I’m just learning, and will reassure me that I’ll: “eventually make it as a developer, if you just stick with it.”
I know my profile says that I’m trans, but writing about it just here was incredibly hard. I’m usually paranoid about not letting people know (unless I’m dating. In that case I feel they need to know).
@miffy I'm sorry that was hard for you to verbalize or, in this case, text. I'm bisexual so you'll get no assumptions or discrimination here. I didn't say anything about those stereotypes like "are you the man or the woman?" and people don't understand how I can like wearing eye makeup (nothing else, no foundation or anything) but I hate purses and carry a man's wallet in my back pocket. I'm androgynous. That just doesn't fit into people's preconceived notions of female's and/or gay people. Oh, and, I've also been questioned if I'm trans "because I obviously want to be a man."
Oh, I hate the work setting stereotypes. You're female so you know nothing. Ugh!!!!
A lot of people have the Lifetime Movie of the Week view of the disabled: we're all brave, resolute, courageous, facing the future with optimism and hope. That what made us disabled also destroyed any desire for sex: we're all very spiritual, you see. And we look at a lot of sunsets. Oh god yes, those damned sunsets.
I'm as big a skeptic (and even more of a pervert) as I was before I was disabled. Brace? Courageous? Resolute? Me, I just muddle along. And I haven't even looked at a sunset in decades.
Positive stereotypes can be as bad as negative ones.
@robotbuilder Yea, I actually did some research before writing this and did come across how "positive stereotypes" can sometimes be more damaging than "negative" like how all Asian's are good at math and all Jew's are good with money, right?
My mom was a user of a cane, walker and motorized wheelchair. When we'd go to the store, EVERY GOD-DAMNED TIME, someone would say "oh, I wish I had a chair like that! My feet are hurting today. Ha ha ha" My mom would always clap back, "You can have all the medical issues that go with."
That I have a liberal arts degree and no job, because apparently all liberal millenials get liberal arts degrees and then complain about having to have a job. That I'm a wild lay, because redheads are supposed to have crazy sex. That I can't be latina because my skin is white.
That I eat mcdonalds all the time because I'm overweight, even though I work out regularly and eat relatively tiny healthy portions.
That I'm faking my health problems because I'm young. That I'm just a drug addict because I'm a pain patient.
@LadyAlyxandrea I have honestly yet to hear the liberal arts millennial stereotype before.
Being a sister redhead, I took on that stereotype as mine. I own that bitch. "Yes, I'm a great fucking but you'll never know. Now, scamper back to the hole you crawled out of." LMFAO!!
I would probably question the Latina, as well. But, looking at the thumbnail of your picture, I'm more likely to question whether you're Dracula's bride. Get some sun, chica!!! LOL
Oh, I hate the "fat bitch" stereotypes. Even when I was in college and was at the on-campus fitness center every morning before they even opened, I was still supposed to be lazy and overeat. When I became employed at said fitness center, "you're fat, how can you work in a gym?" Well, it's not like I instantly lost fifty lbs the day I was hired.
I agree with you about the health problems. I use the county hospital for all my medical needs because I'm too poor for a "real doctor." I get the "you must be homeless or a drug addict" stereotypes almost every time I walk through the doors.
My education experience is scarily like yours. I love languages but can't do simple maths in my head or even on paper. So people thought I was stupid.
I'm mistaken for straight because I'm femme. People think because I'm an extrovert I'm a party animal. I'm sure there are more.
@memorylikeasieve Welcome to the club!! Pull up a chair and get comfortable!!
Oh, and I see your SN. I have memory problems as well due to brain damage, loss of brain mass and the toll my medication suicide attempts have taken on my brain. That, too, is a stereotype. You forgot such and such so you're stupid.
People would assume that because of my height (I was 6'1" before I started shrinking-don't laugh, it's a real thing), I could play basketball. I'm probably one of the shittiest b-ball players on Earth.