Elections are coming up... Volunteer for your favorite candidate. You will certainly meet likeminded people that way. I worked the polls for my favorite candidate last election and actually met quite a few people who didn't irritate the shit out me!

Look around and see if there's a Unitarian Universalist meeting house near you. They tend to draw whatever open minds are in an area. They welcome thinkers, and all those that question, regardless of race, sexual orientation, belief system or not, and whatever other "oddness" one might have - imagine that !

If you are a progressive politically you might think about joining the Democratic Central Committee where you live. Or any of the other progressive organizations. If you are not political there may be chapters of women's organizations you might be interested in such as American Association of University Women. If you are interested in volunteering there may be places you would find give you some of what you are looking for. Good luck.

Try a swinger site, such as sdc.com or sls.com. Great, refreshing people, good company and all the sex you may want.

Arden, Delaware is an interesting artist/actor colony. There are free-thinking people of all ages. If you find another place, please let me know; I'm thinking ahead, and tired of the money-oriented red mentality here in my suburb west of Philly. I would move to Arden, but you can only own a house there, just not the land it sits on.

It's a global world.. you are thinking inside the box of what you see as a "community".. western, "bedroom", identifiable. Look on line.. there are many "alternative" ways to live these days.. they just dress up in different trappings that you may not recognize but that you have an affinity for.

Your peeps are out there!!

if you're looking for happiness in the conduct and demeanor of others then you will always be sad. learn to not need others.

I know of no new suggestions but I do hear your words and know your situation. I'm 73 and went to a Senior Center with a friend of mine. People inside all talk about "fake news" and they have to pray before meals and they also say the pledge. Oh, mother of Pearl, spare me this nonsense. I cannot live in this sort of world at all.

You are living in my old stomping grounds. I assume Corona. Moreno Valley has a Democratic Club run by a bunch of hell-bent women that I love. Radine and her Daughter Nina have been doing wonders there for decades, they have a FB page. If you want to feel like you belong, this is the place, tell them Jerry sent you. Say hello to Ruthie also, I used to be a delegate to the California Democratic Convention and cannot wait to move back. Fight the good fight!

Sounds like you are describing the suburb where I live. I have found what works for me is to seek my whole social life in the nearby relatively large city, Des Moines, that is much more diverse and less conservative and religious. It involves a lot of driving, but it's worth it. The condo community I live in has lots of rules, but it really doesn't affect me because I don't socialize with them or spend any real amount of time here outside my condo apt.. Meetup groups, even in the Des Moines area, have been a waste of time for me in almost every case, as they seem to cater to and attract pretty much people who are much younger than me.

My local senior center is also useless for socializing. Everyone there but me is pretty much way older and also not very educated or interesting. They are all also very conformist and pretty religious. I just go there to eat free lunches by myself and be left alone.

I've been living quite a few years here in a place which doesn't suit me well, but I have made friends and have activities that I enjoy as well as a job. I have the opportunity to move to a place which suits me much more where I lived 30 years ago and I loved it. I have old friends and family, but I will have to develop new things to do, and the cost of living is higher. It's a hard decision. How do you decide the best place to live and what choices do you have?

Keep looking for local friends and groups, don't give up, and in the mean time if you need to vent don't forget this site.

Whooo, interesting pickle in which you find yourself.
I'll offer an "I" story--- First, I'm 71 but look 55. I am not ready for, nor interested in a "senior community" since I believe that age diversity is better for neighborhoods and that gated anything is divisive.

I wanted to move to downsize, to recreate what I have without as much of the headaches. Being slightly autistic and a non-believe and a free thinker made me unique in finding certain places. I wrote off tons of gorgeous places (Idaho, Montana, Arizona mountains, more rural parts of northern California) because of the solid red state mentality and strict women-as-second-class-citizens mindset. "If you ain't a couple, we ain't interested"... really?
How did I find my eventual landing place? By knowing what I am, and looking for like-minded people FIRST. I found that the Medford area is chock-a-block full of artists, blue people, and to a lesser degree, free thinkers. I visited and stayed in the area four times in the last two years, and have settled on a smaller arts community that may well feed that part of me. (I work in oils and hot press steel).
I found the same to be true of other geographic areas...for example Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
So what I'm saying is that thinking through your outcome is the way to find the path to your evenual good location. I cannot offer any advice about your current situation, since you made some decisions that you now regret.
If you decide to relocate to up the ante, please make lots of lists of what you can and cannot cope with and find places that match the former with few of the latter, and good luck. You can do it if you must.

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

Personally, I think rules are made to be broken.
I have no intention of following some "community rules" that I had no hand
in making. I'd never make it in any kind senior community setting.

I've also completely given up on men and ever being in another "romantic"
relationship.

Perhaps seeking some professional mental health assistance will make you
feel less uncomfortable about your current state of being.
Or perhaps make you more comfortable with the idea of being a
non-conformist.

Good luck.

Is something holding you in that area? If not, you might consider making another move.

I live in a red county but sometimes socialize in other areas. It just means I have to do more driving. I will likely move eventually.

A True Blue Democrat, in CA.. I’d be hanging tite with your local Dems! Then follow the fun ones to where they go. I’ve done the same in red rural VA. Even found an Atheist!

I’d suggest Birders/ Birding, they’re the best people I’ve consistently met.. Don’t need to know a thing, just watch, listen & learn. Check out Library programs; visiting Authors ..if only for an afternoon.. can be a breath of fresh air, especially when surrounded by well educated like-minded locals (there must be more than just you).

I come here, too. Haven’t met anyone ‘in real life,’ but am convinced ‘they’re out there!’ ...even grinning around town from various descriptions I’d read here ..can get me through the thick of it sometimes.

Find a University welcoming to the surrounding community, while filled with hungry youth.. And/ or, develop your skills of being alone; I hiked a day ago, then wondered neighboring towns yesterday. Find a place so amazing … you don’t need company

I live in a seniors complex in Long Beach with 80 units and around 100 residents. The only real rules here are:
Pay your rent.
Don't park in anyone else's assigned parking space.
Keep the noise level down after 11:00 pm until 7:00 am (actually that's a city ordinance, not a rule here).

There are occasional Bible studies here put on by a resident, but I doubt that more than ten people attend.

Our Representative is Alan Lowenthal, a solid Democrat with some progressive tendencies.

The area offers an abundance of music, art, theater, poetry, good (but not necessarily expensive) restaurants, and opportunities to interact with other people. I've never been there, but there is a senior center less than two mile away.

You can look at Meet-up for groups near you that do things you’re interested in.
Also intentional communities - [ic.org] some are religious, some aren’t.

Been in all but Alaska, Hawaii and Maine. My own opinion of the USA in general is not very good . . . been to Canada, met a lot of very nice people there. After I retire, I am probably going to move south of the border, Mexico or Costa Rica . . .

Do you live close to your children? Or do you want to?

I also live in a red, religious town. I have found myself surrounding myself with engineers, veterans, and professionals. I don't like to limit myself to certain people but lately they are the only people I can communicate with. So, I have this small group of about six couples who I see often.

Just be you, true to yourself, live the life you want to live and enjoy all that life has to offer.

I think it is great that you had a great career, many friends and continued learning throughout your life.... too many people these days could only be so lucky, especially with the career and many friends parts... good luck to you and your transition and newfound struggles as a retiree living in a seniors community.

There will be like minded people where you live too, you just have not met them yet. Start your own group, I am sure you can, or move to a place where you have lived previously where you were happy.

When i win the lotto i will rescue you. Until then, i will send you my thoughts and prayers.