Thirst trap: A sexy photo often posted by celebrities to social media in order to attract attention.

Teenagers, girls and boys but mostly girls, do traps of a kind, if milder. Hoping to get all their friends, again mostly girls (boys will come off creepy), to comment their enthusiastic support: So beautiful…I love you so much…etc.

My 16 y.o. daughter did something similar recently on her Instagram (the only social media account she lets me follow). Among all of her friends’ fawning support, I commented something to the effect of (I’ve since deleted it) “False advertising! People seeing this have no idea how salty you really are!”

Okay, I’m an idiot. She said, “Thanks for the hate dad.” I said it because the image posted was not the person I know but some shallow pinup version that misleads people away from the fact that she’s a smart, assertive, takes-no-crap, knows #boysaretrash, and is a confident (as much as teen girls are) young woman. None of that was reflected in her lipsticked parted lips, hair-whipping image.

After a couple of days of pouting and avoiding (mostly by me) we’d a discussion about it today. This after my talking to two middle-aged adult women and a Millennial and having them explain why my intentions, while understandable, mislead me. See, I thought “salty,” for all of the above reasons, was a compliment – a strong woman that suffers no fools. She thought it was sexist: boys aren’t called salty for standing up for themselves, only girls. (She also said, about the "trappiness" of the photo, she was just feeling herself.)

She was right, of course. That was my assimilated patriarchy and "paternal energy" talking. I only wanted the world to know (as I often tell her) that as beautiful as she is, her beauty isn’t even the most interesting thing about her.

Damn. So much to learn.