Hi. I’m new and am curious. Does anyone else feel they have to pretend to believe in God in order to have friends and belong to organizations in a small town? I depend on my friends, family and organizations to avoid loneliness and have a social life and would most likely be ostracized if I shared my beliefs.
Just be honest and don't even try to change them. If they are friends worth having they will stick with you - some for curiosity's sake.
Read through the other answers below mine , and I think they've pretty much covered the gammit . Your beliefs are no body's business but your own . And their beliefs are their own business . It's nice to have friends who share your beliefs , but not everyone has to . You know better than anyone on this site the conditions you are living under . Know who you are . Do what's best for you .
When I was much younger my home town was smaller and more conservative. I am from a household of atheists. I couldn't believe I was the only atheist in my school. When I was about 14 or so I discovered punk rock and decided to not care what my classmates and teachers thought. I discovered women, sex, drugs, rebellion, anarchism, and freedom and all because I dared question god. I am free now and have been for 35 years or more. But I have lost many people whom I once considered friends and that is a high price indeed. Small towns can be echo chambers. I wish the very best luck to you.
People than cannot accept you as non-religious cannot be friends as their beliefs are causing them to reject you. Lying to people about your beliefs is not an effective way to develop friendships. Moreover people are very good at determining if someone actually carries the same beliefs. Expand beyond your current location to find like minded people. Join the Freedom From Religion Foundation in Madison Wisconsin.
I'm part of some organizations, clubs/etc where the community is more split on politics than religion.
I've grown up not depending on friends for much other than the occasional visit, granted, being 44, I'm self sufficient, however, I see my dad and his wife are retired, and they definitely pretend or just go-with-the-flow on what everyone else believes in the matter of faith when hanging out with their clubs/organizations.
Nope. Everyone close to me knows I'm atheist. Hell, I'm pretty sure I have it written on my public FB page. I'm not hiding that aspect of myself from everyone, and the only people I invite to stay in my life are those who can respect that without trying to push their own beliefs.
Can you move? Life is short and there are some really rewarding places to live.
That’s the best advice. “Norms” in small towns change slowly, at best.
@Santanaman9 Yeah, a small town in Texas? There would have to be real strong compelling reasons to remain.
Gaia, if you are in a small town in Texas, I absolutely believe you should keep your beliefs to yourself. I lived in Lynchburg VA, home of Jerry Falwell for 20 years and I never told anyone I was an atheist. I have traveled extensively in rural Texas and it is the same way as Lynchburg. I believe you would lose all your friends or worse yet, they will all start praying for you.
Mums the word. For your health!
I make it a point NOT to mention my beliefs, to avoid such discussions. Of course, anyone on my facebook page will know it, but those people are My friends.
I live in Texas. In the large urban area of Dallas-Ft. Worth I do not pretend to believe in god. If I choose I have more ways to to meet like minded people. I play on a senior softball team. The two teams meet for a prayer after the game. I just walk off the field. No one has ever said anything. Welcome to the site.
I live in Texas!
Where now there are more tattoo Parlors as churches, well almost!
I do not tell anyone anything about religion and religious dogma!!!
If they ask me about religious beliefs???
I then ask them if they are going to pay my bills and support me???
If not do not go where you do not belong!!!
Once we find the freedom of reality, those things bothering us will ebb away. If friends demand an attendance i would go with new friends...
Hi.how are ya? ...
An organization that asks about your beliefs or so call friends that ask about your beliefs are far from organizations I would want yo belong to or friends that Ibwould like to mongle with. If anyone or anybody asks for my religious beliefs my answere is always the same: now that is none of your business, is it? The day I ask for your beliefs is the day you can ask me, and I will never ask you.
Nah, never have, never will. Too stressful to even consider!
No, just the opposite, I evangelize so my friends know there are decent atheists around them.