Unlike you, I was pulling him away from his "first love."

I live in light conflict with a reform Jew.

I can't avoid conflict, I'm constantly surrounded by it. It suddenly occurs to me that maybe I'm in conflict with myself. Hmmm.

Yes. Yes to everything you said.

I'm too open-minded

@ElusiveMoby you know what Lawrence Ferlinghetti said about that: “If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”

I witnessed his ambivalence when he kept telling me what a wonderful person I was despite my lack of faith. It unsettled him.

@ElusiveMoby that is one hella "compliment"......

@ElusiveMoby Despite your lack of faith, huh? That's an arrogance even I won't touch. Wowsers.

Right. At least with the shoes you can reasonably expect to get your investment back if you decide in a reasonable time frame you're not happy with the product.

You're right.

It really wasn't my place to give him advice either. Lol. I ended the relationship for several reasons but this was definitely one of them.

Because you don't smoke? That seems odd. Care to elaborate?

If you are wise enough to not smoke, why would you date a smoker?

I don't date women who smoke because I developed an allergic reaction to cigarettes. I cannot kiss them and not feel like I am going to throw up and I cannot take the smell.

@noworry28 I ended a relationship because she was a very heavy smoker it was like kissing an ash tray.

@bingst that was the most recent reason I was given by a woman who I had already met in person. I suspect I just wasn't macho enough for her, but that's the reason she gave.

@tinkercreek my choices are limited. I only get to choose from among the women who answer my invitations. Believe me, I've pursued some very high-quality women, but every rejection robs me of a little more self esteem.

@BitFlipper It need not rob you of self-esteem. Just keep in mind that for most of us the hit to miss ratio is statistically low, so increasing the attempt rate is necessary for success. If I ask out 100 girls and only 1 of them dates me, what's my success rate? Is it 1% or 100%? Doesn't matter. I've succeeded. You only fail when you give up.

@Shawno1972 I guess it's hard for me to think of them as just numbers. I think of them as people, and maybe I shouldn't.

@BitFlipper I'm not saying you should look at the people as numbers. I mentioned the statistics as a hypothetical, and only as it would apply to the rationale of action - in this case, attempting to find a suitable, loving mate. I was trying to illustrate part of the reason I feel no one should ever begin to adopt a defeatist position (i.e. reduced self-esteem), particularly when it comes to love. You absolutely have the power to succeed in this realm, and I want you to, so if anything I can say in any way affirms my belief that this is true, I'm liable to say it.

@Shawno1972 ha ha ha I didn't adopt this defeatist position, it adopted me. I try to live an evidence-based life, and to believe in something contrary to evidence is, essentially, religion.

But thank you.

@BitFlipper Certainly. However I have to admit I'm not following the reasoning you've provided. If you care to have the discussion, what is it you feel is contrary to evidence in this instance?

I didn't convert as he hoped and he told me I broke his heart. Psychological abuse!

@ElusiveMoby ewww, so sorry to hear that! I was married to a not very practicing Christian for 28 years. Thankfully that was never the issue between us. Although she did have a period of time she was going to one church where she asked the pastor about unequally yoked!

I guess it's a waste of time if they can't spend an eternity with us

What made you tolerate his obvious incompatibility? Even as long as you did?

@BitFlipper We met at a gym we both went to, and had a mutual liking of an active lifestyle. And he treated me really well, which was easy to get used to. It took a while for the depth of his jeesus obsession to fully reveal itself. I thought we might be able to adjust things to a workable level - but had to finally realize that wasn't going to happen.

@evergreen I do the gym 3 times a week, but nobody talks to each other, so I don't talk to anyone either.

@BitFlipper Certainly your choice. The gym I attend is a pretty friendly place. Most are serious about their workout, but most also have their "regular" times for being there - so one tends to see the same people at each visit.

@evergreen well, it's been my experience that women react very negatively to being spoken to by men they don't know. At least by me. So I leave them alone.

@BitFlipper Sorry to hear that ...

It was a four month relationship. At least he fixed my broken toilet

It's possible to fall in love with just about anyone. Reality lurks in the shadows, though, like a bandit waiting to strike.

I'm too sexual for him.

@ElusiveMoby His loss... BIG time

This is exactly what I experienced. Every other word included god in conversation. Although fortunately we did live together without being married as well as have sex. The practice itself of having a home and running a household together was perfect. Too bad.

Exactly.

It's in my rearview mirror as well. I'm sad but incredibly resilient.

I'm not sad at all, to be honest. I should be sad of course. I am ANGRY at myself for inviting him for Christmas to meet my daughters. What a waste of effort on my daughters' part.

Thanks for listening.

@ElusiveMoby You have to look at it as eliminating one more wrong answer in the search for the right one.

@zeuser Maybe, just maybe, I should forgo the need to couple up. And enjoy my life as it is.

@ElusiveMoby It has its advantages. That could be your right answer.