I was driving to work on a very frigid morning. I turned on the heater but it was apparently so freezing out that I never warmed up. I finally got to work, parked my car, and got out with my fingers practically frost-bitten, and that's when I noticed my car's sunroof completely wide open. :/

Well, I thought I grabbed the can of hairspray,
I closed my eyes because I didn't want the hairspray in my eyes. Turns out it was scrubbing bubbles.

I was talking about something the other day and somehow said "feeled" instead of "felt." ? {sigh} I talk the English good, huh?

This was in the early 70s or so.

The power went out. I had this Radio Shack CB radio base station as a kid; it was that odd gray area between toy and real CB radio.

I wanted to use the radio, but I had no batteries. But I did have a 9v AC adapter, and the radio use 6 C cells: 9 volts. I rewired the radio and the adapter, so I could just plug it in. This was way back when, when I didn't know how to solder, and did up circuits with the old twist and tape method. You know, the one in the old the 4-H pamphlets where they show someone doing that, with a great big red "no" circle on it.

After a couple of hours, working with a flashlight, I got the whole thing wired up.

I plugged it in and... oh, that's right. No electricity.

Not recently, but once put pineapple juice in a pan instead of oil, burnt everything black.

I feed my fish every morning and defrost there frozen food in water and make a drink of orange squash. I had orange fish food.

Tonight I came home from work, took the dog out, hung up my coat and went to the bathroom. I live alone so I keep the door open. Dog laid down near the door of the bathroom. I started getting worried because he usually eats right after I get home. Oh no, what if he’s sick? Does he have an upset tummy?

Oh yeah, I forgot to feed him. ? In my defense...I’m blonde.

Dumb... or brilliant? Now you have squeaky clean teeth.

I recently switched to a spray antiperspirant thinking "hey this is just like the good old days when no one cared about their lungs or the environment". The trouble started when I stored it next to my can of shaving cream in the cabinet. So yeah, shaving cream in my armpit. Not the worse thing though.

I've left my glasses in the freezer and my phone in a cabinet... but I think that was more trying to do too many things at once and forgetting where I set down such things in the process.

It's better for your teeth than most toothpastes, which are filled with dangerous sweeteners and poisonous flouride.

This is why the FDA requires a poison warning on every tube of fluoride toothpaste now sold in the US. Risks from ingesting fluoride toothpaste include permanent tooth discoloration (dental fluorosis), stomach ailments, acute toxicity, skin rashes (perioral dermatitis), and impairment in glucose metabolism.

Used a washcloth to wash my scrotum. It was damp. Water, right? No, it had liniment on it!---Ooooo eeeeee!

I repeatedly grab for the hand soap instead of the toothpaste all the time.
It hasn't made it onto the toothbrush yet though.
I have picked up the conditioner instead of the shampoo a couple of times. Had to rewash
and then condition again, more than once.
In my defense, I don't wear my glasses into the shower and the bottles are nearly identical.
Had to get a giant sharpie to mark the tops of the bottles to tell them apart.

I was solving a log equation and subtracted a 1 instead of a 6.

I joined the navy.

I pulled the bed off my truck and rested it on some dunnage, then set it back down when I was done. A week later I had to take it off again (fuel pump) and I couldn't find the dunnage. I'd set it on the spring if the truck and had been driving that way all week. Kept it handy though, once I found it.

Bought skin cream for my dry skin. Slathered it on and thought, finally found something that actually works and smells good too. Two days later skin broke out like I had some deadly disease. That's because my skin cream was actually body wash. Derp.

I get up early, but am also quite the groggy type in the mornings. Over the years I've managed to put orange juice in my moka pot (coffee pot) instead of water. I also feed the dogs at the same time I make the coffe, and one morning I managed to put dog kibble in the moka pot instead of coffee.... I caught both mistakes before I proceeded with coffee making.... I've also poured coffee beans into my cereal bowl.... Eventually, post coffee I will wake up , become coherent, and oriented to time, person, and place.....

Got a coffee one time and was handed my change. Went to get a straw and set my coffee down, change still in hand. Removed straw wrapper like l normally do when one of my hands is full (a couple of taps on the counter, hold straw in mouth, remove wrapper), then threw my change in the trash.

Used green eyeliner as a brow pencil. Put an empty sour cream container down the laundry shoot instead of putting it in the recycling box.

One morning I accidently brushed my teeth with hydrocortison cream. Not good!

Thrice in the past week alone. Washing my face while glasses on. I usually do this, say, once a year. Have not been drinking. Don't drug. Maybe I've been attacked by some foreign nerve agent? Maybe not thinking? No. Is my usual state. Something insidious is going on... Any suggestions???
Yours,

Clean Glasses

Just today I came absolutely unprepared for my RPG night. Almost ruined everything! ? But luckily I was able to pull things together enough to make for a good time! Just gotta remember to come ready next week...

This wasn't mine, a close friend, but I had to share. He was at his parents home visiting and had to use the restroom. They were out of tp, so he grabbed a baby wipe from a container on the counter. As the burn set in down below, he turned the bottle of wipes around to learn they were Clorox wipes, not babywipes.

Oh I did that repeatedly. I came back from France with a tube of brushless shaving cream. The label colors and markings were so similar to Close Up mint flavored toothpaste that I finally had to relegate it to under the sink.