This is not about "relationships," per se, but it about relationships between women and men.

As a woman, I have been subjected to what might be termed "casual" sexism many times in my life. This is sexism wherein men mansplain obvious issues to the little lady; often, it has been in an attempt to impress me. Now that I am old and self assured, it happens less. When it does happen though, it is always an old man who does the mansplaining.

One such incident happened a couple of years ago when I was buying a vintage cedar chest in a thrift store. As I was examining it, a man came up to me asked if I were going to buy it, and then started explaining to me what I needed to do to restore it (it needed the lid sanded down and stain/protectant applied).

I said, "Yes, I know. I have already refinished one chest and I have done quite a few other pieces. I know what to do." Regardless of what I said, he continued on with his advice (which contained aspects that were incorrect) and then, told me that his grandmother used to store quilts in a cedar chest. I replied that I was a quilter. He then tried to give me some tips on quilting, but I excused myself.

However, an incident that happened to me last week shows how a man will treat a woman and another man differently in the same situation.

I bought a vintage vanity at a thrift store and when I went to pick it up, I measured the bed of my pick-up when I got there with my handy tape measure. I then measured the vanity and with the tailgate down, the vanity could have been laid down in the bed and would have fit.

However, the old fart who seemed to think he was in control of the situation said, "Oh, no, you don't want to lay it down. No way--it needs to stand up." I said that I had bought another vanity and the guys who loaded it laid it down. "No, no, no," he said, along with a few other remarks about women not knowing how to load "things." I told him that I had hauled lots of furniture and at times, knew more about how to load it than the guys loading it, i.e. do not put lay the piece down in the bed feet first.

His remarks about women did not stop with that. I was a captive audience for about 15 minutes, and he also told me about the time he was playing in a band in CA and "the Mexicans" bombed the swimming pool at the hotel (or wherever). My monosyllabic responses were lost on him as he was in love with his voice and the story. I also realized that I had heard the story before; months ago at yet another thrift store, he held a poor woman captive while he told her the same story.

I will add the other two guys helping kept looking at him, at each other, and at me in exasperation over the guy's remarks. However, when it became clear that they were not going to contradict him and they were not going to load it as I wanted (and I did not have enough rope to secure if it were loaded standing up), I left, saying my son would be back to pick it up for me with more rope and a bigger pick-up.

When my son went to pick it up. I did not go as he and his wife were picking it up after visiting her mom in the hospital. When they drove up, I thought that they had not been able to get the vanity because it was not visible in the bed.

Of course it wasn't visible: it was laying down in the back of the pick-up.

I asked him if one of the guys who helped load it was an old man with gray hair and a gray beard.

Affirmative.

I asked him if the old fart said that the vanity should NOT be laid down in the bed.

Negative.

My son said, "It would be crazy to try to haul it standing up."

He also was not subjected to the story about the Mexicans bombing the swimming pool

And no, I did not complain to the store as the workers are not required to help load or secure furniture for legal reasons.

However, if I see the man again, I will tell him that he is full of BS. These incidents will not keep me out of thrift stores!