Guilt much?

Boy oh boy. Family.

Bible belt - you could see how they stand on becoming Jewish or Muslim or, heaven forbid, Catholic. Sorry, I'm stereotyping your family, and, I do apologize. Not enough to erase the suggestion, however.

You never should have told them in the first place

I get her point and I can understand but not agree with it. How about this approach?

Mom, I miss those times with you too, just not the church. If God exists there then he must also exist in the laugh of a child or the bond between family. To say that he does not is to demean god. If the price has already paid then we don't have to. Perhaps we can all sing in the car on the way to the park?

Yes, Mom, I am familiar with the story. I rejected it because there is zero evidence to support any of it. The Bible is not evidence, by the way. I hope, moving forward, that you can learn to control your compulsion to judge and manipulate us, so that we can enjoy our relationship without adding an unnecessary level of toxic friction. If you can't, even though I love you, I may eventually feel forced to set some boundaries."

Curious your response. Mine: And?

Well, you and your mother have to find a way around this. She will have to understand it. Don't take it as an insult because she doesn't mean any harm. You will have to talk about it and take the bull by the horns.

I face a very similar situation where in my case religion is so ingrained in society that a lack of belief is taken as a rejection of society, sort of like a rebel. So every argument to believe is also topped with 'Why are you the only one who's got a problem with people'. So it's a choice between fattening social gatherings and enduring the speeches or just not being there.

I just yesterday suspended, actually tried to shut off a friendship with someone I enjoyed chatting with. If I said shit twice he would laugh and remind me about hell. I reminded him it would be very crowded. It reached crescendo and I snapped after maybe 27 years I lost it, I told him stop calling ever, because everytime you speak eventually you feel you must speak on Christ. I assured him I could give a shit much about shitting then JC. I assured him any friends he had are gone as they as well, could care less.

He and his family live far away, 14 hours time difference, from NYC. I assured him the next christmas card I receive will not be opened, but shredded. Actually I will write refused on it, so back it goes, It will take a month to get there, but I most certainly will get there.

He is an Evangelical Roman Catholic, he tries to reannoint you, or convert you.

I did lie about 1 thing, I said I was an atheist, but I am more of Agnostic or Deist. For me, if god is there he/she/it/they have no flavor, nor do they care if we do. If they exist at all.

If I said the truth, he would have felt the need to call back and chip away at my way of thought.

Mind you he was a devout Atheist when he last was living in USA. I met his wife and while he was apart from us I asked his wife if he had a full blown Mental Breakdown, or had their Business gone away and they were destitute, or did he do a weird drug(s).

She assured me none were true. So I just accepted him at face value.

His visits for a while were twice a year and a lot of fun. His kids, were amazed at American food, and floored by Italian American food. The very first time he came I gave his kids a 1slice fold over PBJ with milk then followed it with cantelope, honeydew then water melon. They were in culinary nirvana, each time I came out with fruit, his kids sat like quiet puppies at rapt attention, their eyes got very very big. I was surprised there wasn't a puddle under their chairs.

His wife and he protested, as to the cost. I asked how much for this by you pointing to a bowl of cantelope. over 6 bucks, I said on sale 50 cents, then the honey dew 35-40 bucks he said, me, sale price at a cheap place, $3.50, Then he said the watermellon I payed maybe $2.50 for was at least $45-50 (was a good sized very tasty melon.

I like to cook, and so this went on for years, honestly it was enormous fun, but each time he would bog it down with Jesus, by the end. 2 years ago I lost it, but begrudgingly talked to him. Then he invoked god and I just lost it.

A friendship that lasted from about 1971, until last night.

Now he was a friend, but she is your mom. You just have to be honest like I was with my own mother. Not long before she basically committed suicide, she was talking to me about church and I calmly and quietly told her I did not believe, I would never believe, and please stop nagging me. I assured her I would stop visiting. I assured her months later, (its all kinda fuzzy now), that if she wished to stop medical care that was her choice, do not let dad or anyone talk you around it. (cancer had come back 4-5 times). I made her a bread, with onion and rosemary, I gave a teensy slice, which she carried up to her death. She stopped eating and drinking and simple stopped, it took 3 days

Cancer does not just kill its victims, it kills whole families. Severe debt, emotional scars from relentless hospital visits, and if lucky, hospice.

In the end, I had to say " Mom I can't pray for you mom, I just do not believe god as you know him, exists. I can hope for you, but not pray."

This may not help her, but perhaps. feel free to borrow anything I may have said if it helps.

Ouch