I do understand where you are coming from. Small churches can give you a real sense of family that is hard to replace. As far as the music, I treat Jesus like I treat Santa. I do think a man named Yeshua existed but that he was different from what Christians imagine. For this reason I can occassionally enjoy gospel music without getting irritated; again... because its like Christmas music. I don't listen to new gospel; mainly just Commissioned and Take 6 because I grew up with it and has that nostalgia factor as well as still sounding good. Some people overreact to spiritual/religious content. If you don't believe something you can still acknowledge it sounds good; much like a good fictional story. And I still enjoy debating the bible (but obviously from a skeptics perspective) but they don't even do that in church. Church is mainly just a very long commercial designed to brainwash and indoctrinate. But I can understand if you miss it. I miss the potluck dinners.

fwiw, I've tried a few Unitarian services at one congregation, along with a couple of other things (such as a secular humanist Jewish service, along with some conventional Jewish services but with a Rabbi who has a few things to say that I like). All of them know I'm atheist, but I am respectful in all ways when I attend. My theory is that a fair amount depends on the individual service leader and the congregation, and what their focus is, and music and so-on. Perhaps a lot depends on us also. How willing are we to be part of their community? Where are we as individuals? For each of us as an individual, is it something that we need or want? For me a bit depends as well on the individual interactions.

Political parties are fun. Join one that has a choir.

You are not alone.

You might look into a Unitarian church. I understand congregation can vary a lot but many are diverse with various beliefs. Those I have been aware of have been very accepting od nontheists as well as alternate religious beliefs.

I don't miss any of it even though I studied for the ministry. Some Sundays I was more into wanting to stay home and watch Bonanza on TV than got see somebody talk in tongues and wallow around on the floor. Looking back today it was just plain out simply stupid. I can't believe I fell for it all.

American Humanist.ofg has a chapter in Tucson. [freethought-az.org]

[freethought-az.org]

Maybe some events there for you?

[meetup.com]
[meetup.com]
[freethought-az.org]