That would explain his zombie-like devotees!

The bible? I stand by my theory that a local traditionalist saw the closed tomb, which according to tradition shouldn’t be closed until the third day, and let the truly undead Jesus out. But sure, otherwise, a zombie
I did once say something cruel to a religious, ‘friend’ and when I saw a sticker saying, ‘what would Jesus do?’ I said, ‘I guess top himself’, give a man ultimate control and he lets idiots get him killed? Snore. So many twisted tales in that bizarre book that we’re not supposed to question.

True that.

Mormon missionaries get really pissed when you tell them that