That would explain his zombie-like devotees!

The bible? I stand by my theory that a local traditionalist saw the closed tomb, which according to tradition shouldn’t be closed until the third day, and let the truly undead Jesus out. But sure, otherwise, a zombie
I did once say something cruel to a religious, ‘friend’ and when I saw a sticker saying, ‘what would Jesus do?’ I said, ‘I guess top himself’, give a man ultimate control and he lets idiots get him killed? Snore. So many twisted tales in that bizarre book that we’re not supposed to question.

True that.