In my late teen - twenties it happened several times before I learned that what they say about guys dropping you like a hot potato after one or two nights is true. (This would have been in the 1970-80's and I was very naive.) It was very hurtful and yes I always thought they were really interested in me, but apparently they weren't.
I found it hard for along time not to put relationships above other things I could have spent my time on more productively because I so craved a good relationship, but ironically, the more you care about finding love, the harder it is to find.
The more energy you put into building a future for yourself alone, the more attactive that will be to a truly worthy partner in the end.

Personally I find that the best way to get the measure of someone is to date them for a month first before sleeping with them. That way you really get a feel for what they're like as a person. Also their little secrets slowly come out. Plus if they're only after sex they probably won't hang around for that long. But hey, if you decide you just want to sleep with them, for whatever reason, don't feel bad if that's all it turns out to be. Do you really want a relationship with someone who doesn't want that anyway

It's simple, but difficult.

Don't sleep with men until you're exclusive. Only accept dates for three days ahead, otherwise, you 're sorry, but you already have plans. End the date first.
Never call the man.
Ever.

Pursuit is the man's job, even though mixed gender men often have a weak male instinct., same as females with strong male traits will sometimes be the aggressor.

Cis, hetero women with high levels of female traits, instinctively know how to handle men.
If their men mess up, they first withdraw: they already have plans, they found a better apartment, etc. If the men really messed up, the women throw their stuff on the lawn, change the house locks, and move on.

Own it! "Women have all the power cause women have all the vaginas." Dave Attell

People aren't always at their best and some are assholes. There's no way around that. You just need to know that they are the problem and not you. Chin up lady!

If you can recognize what it is about those types that attract you then you can have better defenses against them in the future.
There is nothing wrong with venting or getting angry or sad or whatever. They are valid emotions that developed to protect oneself they don't need or deserve to be stuffed into a hidden hole and denied existance, just be careful to not let them rule your life. A couple of days is probably ok, but don't let negative emotions take over for an extended amount of time.

It's OK you're cool, period,end of story - forget the bastards - they are too stupid to know what they lost. I like you anyway.

That is a shithouse deal. I guess the good news is that you're learning from the past and recalibrating. This is a good thing. I like sex. You like sex. Yay! Sex is not inherently problematic - except it often is. Clear the threat boards, and start afresh - no baggage, no freight, no history. It's easier that way.

Venting is good. When we're lonely or hurting we can sometimes sabotage ourselves even though what we really want is comfort. Remember that you're worthy of the best of everything.

I've never understood the desire of some people to hook up and then disappear. Don't they get horny again, at the very least? Is it entirely about the notch on their bedpost? If so, perhaps the best response is to feel pity for them, because their self worth is scraping the bottom of the barrel and they can validate themselves only through other people. It might not sting as much or feel like rejection if you think of it in those terms and recognize that they're really rejecting themselves.

Cosmicowl, it sounds like you're in a lot of pain. I don't do pitty parties. As an older member who had a rough time in my 20s, a word of advice: heal your own pain first, pay attention to 'feeling shitty'. That is telling you something important. There are great guys out there. By improving your self-esteem and raising your expectations, you will find one. Consider therapy, yoga, healthy diet, anything that helps you feel worthwhile. Hugs and hang in there!

Thanks for sharing. Venting helps. Ignore all haters - especially stranger haters who preach their righteousness and/or gender ideologies. Nothing is ever as black and white as they say.

We all have needs of friendship and intimacy. And there's nothing wrong in seeking and expecting those from others. Aren't we all human, after all?

You did nothing wrong.

EDIT: added "friendship" to needs. I forget it sometimes.

I think you missed a bullet. Be glad he iced you. Really.

The only answer is move on really. Hard as it feels. If someone does it to you once they are very likely to do the same again or worse .. hugs. A lot of people are just unthinking !! I'm jaded enough to take knocks lol. I try to avoid it but not always poss. Takes time.

People can be assholes...but how they act and treat others isn't a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them.

I saw a meme today about ghosting. It basically said "Thank you for your free 15 day trial period." I kind of feel like that is true sometimes...but again, that's on them. It's pretty shitty if you are so immature or have so little regard for someone that you can't even say, "Hey, I'm sorry but I just don't feel any chemistry and I didn't just want to leave you hanging. Good luck in your search." Although it totally sucks, I think it's kind of a blessing in disguise. Its like the trash just taking itself out! Lol. Bye Felicia!! And who really wants someone like that in their life anyway, particularly when your time is limited?

Meeting people and dating is sometimes challenging. I have generally found that I meet people when the time is right and I'm not really looking...hang in there. I feel for you...

Just put it down to experience. he is possibly more embarrest than you now or not. flip it back on itself and see what you gained and what he lost. there are bucket loads of users out there especially shallow men but also woman. use them or lose them. you will be fine and nothing wrong with a good vent lol.

I’m sorry. I think we do it to ourselves most of the time.

I’ve had this happen to me several times. It sucks but like another poster said, “you really dived a bullet.” Sorry this happened to you. Some people just bring a lot of pain into our lives. Best to avoid them.

I really feel for you. It was long long ago that I had similar experiences. I think that you need to stay true to what makes you feel good about yourself, at all times! It is so easy to take being intimate casually, but for some people, it does more harn, than what was gotten out of the 'hook up' experience. I was one of those people. Find a way to have fun, with all kinds of people and especially when looking for a mate! Maybe, there is some volunteer group that you are interested in, where you can meet up with prospective mates. If you are having fun and involved with others (aside from work), you will be less vulnerable, to hooking up with just anyone out of desporation. At any rate, get to know a guy at least enough to feel him out first...before you give yourself up...he may just want to prowl and you...just might not want to be a 'prowlee!'

Venting is good, these shocks come and get us ocassionally. Good luck.

I've learned not to have sex quickly. If that means not drinking (whatever you do) to keep my wits about me. That is what I do. Guys want sex, plain and simple. They are made different. They can have sex with no emotional attachment. Woman are different. We need it and having sex attaches us more. The Oxytocin that is released in the act is called the bonding hormone. Thick Nhat Hanh is his book The Art of Living in the Chapter titled Path to Happiness said " I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without true love and a deep, long-term commitment made known to my family and friends." It's my new philosophy. I, too, had sex too soon with people when I was young and got hurt. Repeating the same behavior over and over again expecting different results is insanity. It took me a long time to learn the lesson. As much as it hurts now, if you can change, your life will be so different. Good luck to you in your journey.

Be emotionally​ detached sometimes and have your intuition higher and I'll bet the ship in relationship will go smooth sailing

Vent away. No advice here.

Hey kid, listen look at it this way, you don't know what his story was but he was in your eyes a good guy, OK nothing wrong with that, how about at that time both of you needed that distraction to help let go of the previous problem , in your case the cheating ex, it helps the brain heal! And when your old like me every good time is all ways a welcome memory .its all thought, that's all don't let in ruin your karma?