I'm afraid I start with the idea that any man who is single and not a widower is automatically suspect. Sure, there are a few men who are single because their wife was a real rip, but the stats tend to lean the other direction, and most of the men I have encountered who blame their ex wives for the failed marriage turned out to be lying.

Close relationships are, after a brief and glorious period of hope, an invitation to more drama and conflict -- hopefully with moments of transcendence, but even that is not assured. I have yet to see a case of either couples or parents / children where this is not the case, or where it isn't papered over with some sort of dysfunction or power inequality. The peaceful relationships invariably rely on the weaker party to cave to the stronger and subsume their needs for the sake of the peace. Once in awhile this is fine, but in most relationships, it becomes one-sided in a hurry around any one issue.

It is the nature of being human. Even where "love" is in play, it is always a struggle for dominance. It takes most of us a lifetime to figure that out -- in part because we don't want the clarity of vision to see this need in ourselves to get what we need, too.

I've had to learn to not be consumed by the loneliness of bad relationships. Once you sort that out, garden variety loneliness is literally nothing. You aren't the first, and won't be the last person to be seduced by the Fear Of Missing Out, only to find that, yet again, what you were trying to obtain was illusory.

There's nothing wrong with having a little hope. The fault lies with them, not you.

Online dating is the worst.

Welcome to the Club!