Hey, gentlemen, do us both a favor and please add a picture to your profile! It's not so much about whether you think your looks will help or hurt, but we women like to check out the sincerity in your eyes and we do like to pretend your smile is meant for us. Chatting to a generic, faceless "Ken doll" image makes you seem less like a real boy and makes us wonder what you're hiding. In a world where "stranger danger" is really a thing for women, this matters more than you may realize. Oh, and even if those pecks are too gorgeous to miss, do keep your shirt on for the picture, please! Allow us look forward to that discovery at a later date. Thank you!
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For a while I was pictureless but I went ahead and posted one. I'm a horrible selfie-taker and I dodge a camera whenever I can!!
Now on a funnier note: When I was younger I may have been a hunk. Now, I'm more of a heap! Ha ha!
farmboy2017
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
7
I was thinking more for myself as From hunk to chunk....... ?
I prefer a face pic. It feels like I'm talking to a person from the outset. It takes me longer to get a feel for someone without one.
But I respect that not everyone is happy doing that. I respect that being a non-believer can be a closet thing (especially in the US, it seems) and many people feel the need to hide their non-belief.
A unique avatar is nice, even if it isn't identifiable. I find it helps me to keep track of who's said what better than user names do.
NicoleCadmium
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
7
Well said
I personally prefer a filled out profile and intelligent emails/messages (no one word messages). If things seem to be clicking then I will ask for a picture.
And how do you know that the picture they post is actually a picture of themself? A picture can be just a fake as the personality they claim to have.
Not trying to start anything; just curious. Also, there are many other reasons besides insincerity that would cause a person to not have a picture on their profile.
kiramea
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
5
Good commentary. That goes for women too. Can't understand why people who consider themselves, Free Thinker, are so reluctant to show themselves.
JackMichaelson
Level 4
Apr 2, 2018
5
My picture is posted
Just sayin....
rlenahbo
Level 4
Apr 2, 2018
4
And it's not hard to look at. Just sayin...
@Donotbelieve Thanks! Turning all shades of red right now, very flattered
And right back at you!
So how come none of y'all live here in good ol' central Florida? Look at me, talking like a southerner...
@Donotbelieve Indialantic is a lovely little town on beachside It's just east of Melbourne....Although if I had my druthers, I'd still be up on Long Island! Snow and all.
I'm going to say something that I think a lot of people are either discounting or not being truthful about. It's all well and good to say you don't care about looks, and you want someone to like you for who you are, not what you look like. I agree with this; no relationship can move forward without this.
However, let's be real: physical attraction is important, too. At least at first. I have been on the receiving end of not being found physically attractive too many times to fool myself about that. And I understand it, because I feel the same way. If the physical attraction is not there, especially in these situations, it's not going to go anywhere.
marga
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
5
Byrd:
I somewhat agree, I suppose 4 me tho, as I said, it is not so important that I feel it needs 2 be seen right away. I do feel there needs 2 be some kind of physical attraction, but its definitely not the first thing on my radar. I think rather, at least for me, I've come 2 find that a pretty face and a nice body can blind a person for a while 2 the true nature of a potential mate. Not so much anymore, now that I'm a bit older and more confident in what I'm looking 4. But when I was young, it was an issue, lol
Emme:
@Byrd
Ugly outside vanishes when beautiful inside shines through.
Although my current lover looks like the statue of "David" broke open & HE climbed out,
I have dated "fell outta the ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down" ?and been equally happy in the relationships!
If kindness, respect and mutual interests are involved...it's a yes from me.??
I agree. When I first started here, I was talking to a man without a picture, but he said he would soon post one. Well, he did, but it was an extreme closeup of his upper face only--with sunglasses. At that point, I just thought no way. I wondered what he was hiding.
marga
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
3
Yeah..an avatar is a red flag to us. We imagine the worst.
birdingnut
Level 8
Apr 2, 2018
4
how dare you call me a gentleman. I'm quite rough really
markdevenish
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
3
While I know that some people have their own reasons to keep their pictures off the Internet, I do agree with you about shirtless pictures. You are very kind and tactful in your approach. I could learn from you. For me, shirtless pictures (with very fit bodies) seem show-offy to me and show-offy is a huge turn-off to me.
BlueWave
Level 8
Apr 2, 2018
4
I second that emotion! If women attempted that, we would be asked what we're afraid of!
DarwinistOne
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
5
Yes! It’s ALL about the eyes. On regular dating sites, if I can’t see the eyes, I will not respond.
FLASHgirl
Level 3
Apr 2, 2018
3
the windows to your soul
I don't put a picture with my profile because I am not looking for a mate and don't think the world needs another picture of some crusty old (74) man. I was pretty good looking in my youth however...if you want a picture of me in my early twenties, I have one of those.
dahermit
Level 7
Apr 2, 2018
4
Ok....only because you asked. Poor devils...now you know how I feel when I look in the mirror.
EricTrommater
Level 9
Apr 2, 2018
3
Yes, be fair. Give us something so we can troll too!?
Emme
Level 7
Apr 3, 2018
3
Hee hee, snigger, etc.
@Emme English, as opposed to American.
[en.wiktionary.org]
"A partly suppressed or broken laugh. alternative to snicker"
PS. I am East African born and bred, Kenya specifically, the half homeland of the best president the USA has had for a very long time! I have friends of many skin tones - as do my children. Therefore, I dislike racists - or "reverse" racists. PS. I never even noticed your skin tone until you mentioned it.
Emme:
@Petter LOL ok, we're cool❣? I was like, "Damn! He really put it right out there! With all kindsa no fear too!" I know I can't please 100% of folks 100% of the the time, but I've only been a part of this community 3 days & although I have less of a filter than most, i hoped I didn't offend you with me troll comment. I guess things got lost in translation, which I also hoped was the case. Understandable. I'm sorry for freaking out. We'll get along just fine. I'm glad you're here.?
@Emme Emme. I've learned to allow things to slide off me like water off a duck's back. Actually, my friends and I will make (kind) racial jokes about each other frequently, part of the joy of being East Africans. Pity I'm an old git, living on a different continent, otherwise I'd come round and invite you for a coffee and chat.
Apropos of nothing really, but when I hear dumb, biased British "peasants", here in Spain, slagging off Africans, I point out that the average Kenyan, speaks at least 3 languages fluently. English, Swahili and his own tribal tongue. Then I ask them how many languages they speak. (the majority haven't even managed to add Spanish - and speak uneducated English to boot!)
No offence taken taken, whatsoever, I can assure you. -)
@Emme If you look at a map of Spain I live at the extreme bottom, right hand corner of the country. The food contains plenty of Garlic, Rosemary, Thyme, Paprika (usually the sweet type), pepper, etc. I remember when I first came here and I decided to order some vegetable soup. It was very tasty, but contained large lumps of meat, still on the bone. Being an omnivore, this didn't bother me, but I queried it with the waiter. "Yes". He replied. "We've specially added some vegetables to it for you." How can you fail to love the people of such a land?.
It reminded us of an incident many years previously, in Kenya. We had stopped for the night in a pretty remote hotel, after driving a hundred miles or so along winding, dirt road in the highlands. We asked what was available for dinner and were told lamb or pork. "Ooh!" We thought. "Lamb." so that's what we ordered, to be ready for us in an hours time, after we had washed off the dust and dressed appropriately for dinner. We duly went to the dining hall, and were served pork. Obviously there was no lamb available, we hadn't expected to have it as a choice anyway. On querying the dish, the waiter waiter replied with a smile broader than The Cheshire cat' in Alice in Wonderland, "Yes Sir. It's Lamb-Pork!" To this day we giggle at that memory.
I don't like the way people respond to me when they know what I look like--and I'm not ugly. I prefer to be treated like a person, on the basis of the thoughts I share--rather than as a cute, slender, youthful-looking female. Sue me.
I mention this because I maintain awareness that anyone else might have any kind of reason for not advertising their appearance, and I'm okay with it. I'm not here to date, but even if I were, I'm not sure my attitude would change much.
stinkeye_a
Level 8
Apr 2, 2018
2
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