As I enter my dotage I'm finally getting over the need to be "heard" or "understood", whatever exactly that means. In my observation, feeling misunderstood is mostly about wanting people to see your intentions without you having to do the work of figuring out what they need from you to feel loved or heard or appreciated and providing it to them. We want them to be thrilled with us all the time with zero effort on our part. (Of course this means sometimes people want unreasonable things and you have to let the relationship go, but that's a separate issue).

The tricky bit is that early in a relationship they ARE thrilled with you 24/7 with no effort on your part. Then they start to notice you suck as much as everyone else. Hilarity ensues.

Nothing, if they want to know badly enough they’ll ask. If I want them to know something I’ll tell them. If neither of those are the case; we’re where we should be

And thats exactly why i have no friends. Seriously though, why would i want to be friends with someone who didnt know or understand me? Seems kinda contradictory, unless youre talking about work-friends or neighbor-friends or family-friends

My women friends seem to understand that I enjoy witty respectful banter and interesting conversations sharing ideas not previously considered, with a focus on being happy, healthy and safe, regardless of what I look like during our time together.

My men friends seem to only understand the physical side of me, creating the feeling I'm only half a person, valued only for the physical presentation of me.

Asked what they like about me, the answer from men is always something about a physical attribute. Women tell me they appreciate my emotional support and encouragement, and various other ways they feel my friendship nurtures their sense of well being.

Seems to be a difference in what I'm valued for between the genders. I'd rather be valued for my insides, than my outsides. The mind grows more beautiful as the body matters less. Those who value only outer beauty will be disappointed over time, while those who value inner beauty will continue to be pleasantly surprised each day.

I have resting bitch face, so no, you don't have to keep asking me what's wrong.