My family is zelots just as I was. Unfortinately I don't have contact with them with the exception of one cousin. Ironically we met on line. I hope to meet him in person!

@DavidLaDeau Hope it works out. Family is important.

I did not care about anything but knowing how to be the best Christian I could. I wanted to KNOW I was doing what god wanted. I wanted to know the "truth".

The Bible says the truth shallmset you free. It did from religion.

Actually I sometimes wish I did not know the truth. It would be easier to live the lie. Yes I was devistated by reality when I discovered it. Everything I grew up to believe, my entire worldview was shattered. It took my many years (mabe a decade) after I knew that Imdid not believe in god before I could say it aloud even alone with no witnessess.

@DavidLaDeau You were strongly conditioned from childhood. This will cause you grief at the loss of trust and despair at the loss of your world view which had been an important part of you. Atheism can feel like a harsh reality at first (It was for me but I was young) but over time it becomes incredibly soothing and a comfort. Is it the fact that we don't effectively live forever that you are still finding difficult or is it something else?

@afrogonalog My entire world view was a lie. I had guilt for having sexual urges...very vannila sexual acts werre dirty for example. But it was bullshit. I was finally free but my world veiw was wrong. I still have not fully recovered from irrational thinking, such as black and white thinking.

Actually I try my best to keep post as short as possible as readers (including myself) tend to loose interest in long post. In this case it was necessary.

@DavidLaDeau I agree with you and indeed it is your reality and someone could read it and it would mean a big difference to them. It was great

Actually I am just beginning to experience the freedom over the last 5 years once I came out. The huge feeling I had was disappointment. I had invested my life in a lie.

I am glad I could help.

I am reminded of Exodus 20:3 "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" (KJV).

@anglophone Agreed. Seems fairly cut and dried, doesn't it? But the explanation given by the faith in which I was raised is that the 'false gods' were never gods at all, but rather caricatures or idols of beings that never existed. In other words, from Baal to the present, the idolaters only thought they were worshiping another god. However, since no other gods exist, they were only worshiping something that was never there--an inaminate object or idol.

@p-nullifidian Thank you for giving me that background. Talk about mental gymnastics ...

@anglophone Tis the path that many, if not most monotheists must travel. To even consider the possibility that other gods ever, for one moment, existed is to open a pandora's box of the inexplicable. Most Christians never even consider the possibility of a 'competing' deity. As has been frequently observed, Christians are 'atheists' regarding all deities but the 'one.'

@p-nullifidian Honestly I never considered that there might be another god. As as a result of the test of faith I never did after accepting that my god was not real either.

@Novelty Very Nice interpretation!

I was a diest for a short period of time until I discovered that my christian god according to the Bible COULD NOT exist. I found not only that my god was no more valid than a false god but neither were any others!

@JohnnyQB Read it again. I don't imply any such knowledge of what Thou thinks if Thou exists. Deism is a religion (see Age Of Reason) and I wrote in that context.

Yes, my avatar was a Deist, as were a good number of his contemporaries, but now that we can account for 13.7 billion years of physics, one might as well accept "Big Bangism," as opposed to Deism, from a practical matter at least.

@p-nullifidian I'd agree but being able to say that I believe in A God also gives me the honest reply of "God's Will" when theists whine about this or that calamity. I think that's funny. As for whether it's really there or not IDC (unless it's flying a UFO).

@JohnnyQB Key word is "May." IDK, nor care, if it does or not but this is a sight for people other than atheists. As for what you know of, I'm not writing only for you. Again, there are others who may read it.

@JohnnyQB I was indoctrinated from birth, I was brainwashed and had no choice. That being said if I understand you correctly don't lean toward a dieity. I simply respond to the claim their is one or many.

@JohnnyQB My bad!

@DavidLaDeau It's that attitude coming through in text that I responded to. Not that first time I've had that reaction to JQB but he undoubtedly means well. Shrug.

@JohnnyQB I'm a Tao Zenist. I've had a varied spiritual background and am only now beginning to reincorporate Deism. I think the only way to fight religion is through being a believer. That's because, when they throw the experience thing at me, I can say that I have a personal relationship to my God. Deism doesn't require me to do anything with it so what's the harm in a small fib? It also allows me to tell God to get fucked and feel Thou is amused by my audacity.

@SeaGreenEyez It's important to an end to dangerous and deadly myths. Shake your head all you want but you're wrong. smh

@SeaGreenEyez

@SeaGreenEyez I don't care what you like or for cats.

It's not about things being intelligent. Their life derived from something adapting to its environment and seeked out more of that something to keep existence going. That wasn't brainy but reactive. The amazing part is that it also indicates an awareness. That seems brainy but it only means intention to gain the needed something and reproduce. Once those things are secured then awareness turns to security from harm. It really doesn't need to progress beyond that for most organisms (including us).

@rainmanjr I understand all of that very well. It's just that religious folks tend to layer an extra magical element onto awareness or intelligence or intentionality that just isn't there, so whenever anyone says "intelligence" or "awareness", they read it as if everyone understands it is intrinsically supernatural--in a similar way to how I thought the hills had to have been put their by a giant who had a giant blanket, because that's the immediate impression I got every time I looked at them (at 3 years old). I had a discussion in college one time when we read Descarte in regard to "I think, therefore I am". A couple students claimed this meant the soul existed, but it wasn't compelling to me at all. You might as well say, "I am, therefore I am", or as that book in the '90s might have put it, "I feel, therefore I am," as we discovered more and more that thoughts and feelings are intertwined in ways we never suspected. But after we die, we do no thinking, feeling, or being. We can't even SAY, "I am, therefore I am," which seems to put a pin in the whole notion. (Descarte was probably using it as a foundation of knowledge in any case, claiming that we might doubt anything except our own existence as that is necessary to doubt anything at all. I'm still not sure I even buy THAT.)

Intelligent Design? You mean....my House? My toaster? My truck ?
I agree: what I see in nature is a tangled, overgrown friggin' mess.
The Natural World is Beautiful, wonderful, intoxicating but TOTALLY Devoid of design