We all have lost a family member or a loved one. Or we have grieve a time or stage of our life when we were in a happier place due to an illness, lost of income or home, etc. I recently encounter 3 of these events in my life and felt very lonely. Not because I didn't have friends, but because most of my day to day aquantances (friends) are religious and were not able to help me in my dark moment without blessings, thoughts and prayers.
The brave ones that reach out to advice me to pray to god, I thanked them indicating that I asumed it was made with an effort to confort me, but let them know that as an atheist their gesture had no use; to please not to do it again. Most were offended and didn't contacted me anymore. But for the one who stay and asked me "how can I show you that I care" , I replied....

• You just did, thanks!
• I had a friend that contacted me to see how I was doing 7 months after and asked me how to confort a grieving atheist, that he sincerly wanted to know. It didn't acurred to me that is the same way I do to religious like him. For example;
• I cannot imagin for what you are going through, but I want you to know that I am here to listen if you need to.
• I know that you are going through a rough time. Can I visit you and share a moment together?
• Can we have coffee or tea?
• Do you need help with anything?
• Do you want to go for a walk?
• or call to see how are they doing.
  You see, is so simple. And thank you cause you just did.
  The button line is that by letting my friends know that I wasn't going to acept their blessings, advice to pray, thoughts and prayers; I was able to see who was a friend and who was not. It also gave me chance to educate in what is aceptable when you are trying to confort a grieving atheist.

Now, any other sudgestions?