sometime you gotta do what you gotta do.

I understand the desire to want solitude while working on one's self, but is there an advantage in being totally isolated, unloved, and un-cared-for?

@VeronikaAnnJ

I love how you wrote: "Only I can fix the current issues in my life right now."

Great wisdom and maturity. Bravo!

Taking responsibly for your own behavior and life is essential to problem-solving. Many people blame others for their problems. Blaming is a stuck position. And nothing changes.

I am the only person I can change and control.

Simplistic answers are always suspect. It is better, and safer, to want someone than to need them.

I completely agree no woman 27 or 107 needs a boy in her bed.....nor do fish need bicycles under water.....without knowing a single detail of issues to sort out or feelings to heal from .....I can only gather you are stuck in career or schooling situations or diverted away from your success by family so called friends or violence where you live.....love is the gift of self....right now you need to give yourself your best efforts to research or resolve what ails you.....are you anxious fearful or stressed by unrecognized factors ? Some one who loves you must observe or sense your pain smell evils in your environment or hear what keeps you from restful healing sleep ....
Healing foods and drinks are great gifts to receive or share.....be well in BadgerLand ....if you're quarantined make good use of this time for planning a great future

I think a good partner supports you in you solving your issues, so her comment is dismissive and fails to recognise your strengths and responsibilities. Good on you that you do see this. White knights tend to rescue you and then try to keep you submissive and controlled, so the obverse side to a white knight is often an abuser. Having said that, sometimes you should avoid relationships but if you wait until life is smooth before having a relationship you might be waiting a long time. Just ensure that you get a partner, not a rescuer.

I’ve daughters, perhaps close to your age.. What appears to have worked well for them was to follow their life interests, then slowly get to know those sharing the same. As their relationships developed, both were amazed by how the other provided a perspective that stabilized and enhanced both..

I would not describe either R/S as codependent ... but in a healthy way, closer than not.. It appears the confidence, knowledge, skills and experiences, both gained and shared, have allowed them to advance to a higher level of understanding and existence. And, the love aspect adds the bond I believe, at their ages, it’s supposed to.

Neigher relationship was forced, but organic. It’s not something one can ‘decide to do,’ but more so allow to happen. Be picky ..and take whatever time necessary, but it appears to be worth the wait

A partner can help but has to be the right one or disaster

As an independent woman myself, I totally agree. Only you can really solve the problems, though having a supportive partner can help, I haven't found any support in the partners I've had, so best to fix life's problems on your own, and when you're on top of them, then maybe add that stress/excitement to your life. A distraction might not be the best thing for you at this time. And thinking someone else can fix your problems is never a good reason to get into a relationship. That's my opinion anyway.

There are many variations on that theme even short of a committed partner, such as, "you need some sense fucked into you". There's a persistent notion abroad in the world that getting into an intimate relationship automatically fixes a bunch of things. In reality, while it might temporarily distract you from your most deep-seated issues, it eventually just gives you more of whatever you already have, all things being equal. If you have anxiety or are controlling or are serene and happy you'll generally get more of what you already have.

Kudos to you for recognizing that you have some personal chaos to deal with before you involve someone else in it. I told my wife when I met her that the last thing I want at this point in my life was unwanted drama, and I ended up with quite a bit of it anyway. And she actually didn't intend it and wasn't being dishonest. It just kind of happened and we both failed to predict it. So if you're aware of dangling issues at least deal with those for sure. Your future self and any future partner will both thank you.

It's an extra variable into an unstable situation. Nothing good comes of that, imo.