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Is homosexuality a choice?

Of course, it isn't, it's one's sexual preference as hardwired into their brain at birth. I didn't choose to be hetero, it just revealed itself over tine. it's the same with homosexuality.

So why do Xians insist that it's a "lifestyle" choice? I can no more choose to be gay than I choose to be a serial killer. Neither is within me. The same is true for Xians yet they insist being gay is a choice that was made and they can help you unmake it with the power of prayer and the guidance of scripture.

Why is homosexuality such a trigger for religious people? Why are they, and by extension their God, so concerned with what you're doing in bed? Isn't it convenient that God is as appalled by all the same things that appall the Xians?

Sgt_Spanky 8 May 26
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62 comments

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1

It's a combination of genetics and environment.

Examples of environment:

The mothers of some boys in my hometown dressed them up in dresses. They came out as gay as adults.
Men (and women) sent to prison are much more likely to engage in homosexual acts than men (and women) outside of prison.

BD66 Level 8 May 27, 2020

why would a mother want to dress their boy up in dresses and if they did why would they want a homosexual child homosexuality is a hard life. yes many men and women engage in homosexuality while in prison but I would argue there still heterosexuals choosing to act homosexual " gay for the stay ". personally do you have any homosexual desires have you ever thought about a same-sex partner?

@m16566 I have never had any homosexual desires. I do believe my sexual preferences are a function of my environment. I completed a PhD in electrical engineering, and worked as an engineer and engineering manager for about 20 years. The majority of the women I interacted with as peers were Asian. My first wife and second wife were Asian, and my girlfriend is Asian. I'm not really attracted to non-Asian women the same way I am attracted to Asian women. I would suspect that has something to do with the environment I lived and worked in.

Do you have some sort of data on boys being dressed as girls causing homosexuality? Other than anecdotal that is.

@Theresa_N I seriously question simply wearing girl's clothes can drive a hetero male to homosexual behavior. unless there were gay proclivities inherent in the boy to begin with. It doesn't add up for me.

@Sgt_Spanky I would guess the mother wanted a daughter, so she dressed her son in girl's clothing. She also likely gave him positive feedback when he acted in feminine ways and negative feedback for masculine behavior.

@Sgt_Spanky On the flip-side, I know three tomboys from my hometown who had fathers who were obsessed with sports. Both girls competed and did quite well in sports against little boys, then when they got into high school and competed against girls, they dominated in sports like basketball and softball. Those three turned out to be lesbians. It could have been a similar type of feedback, positive reinforcement for masculine behavior and negative reinforcement for feminine behavior.

@BD66 I'm not saying it wouldn't be anomalous but true gays are born, not made due to aberrant parenting.

@Sgt_Spanky There is an environmental factor. Look at Jason and Jaron Collins. Identical Twins, Same DNA. Jason is gay, Jaron is not:

@Sgt_Spanky A larger study in Sweden

[sciencemag.org]

Are you aware that until around 130 years ago there was in western society a breeching cerimony, when a boy got his breeches around the age of seven. Until then boys wore the same clothes and dresses as girls.
Culture directs us as to what is normal. In western society the military has been a straight male enclave until recently, and homosexuality is seen as populated by effeminate males. Yet look to Ancient Greece and the Spartans. The toughest, hardest strongest killer military societies humanity has produced and gay/bi. Surely not all Spartan men were gay/bi or is bisexual/pansexual our basic normal?
There is evidence to support this...

A boy wearing dresses does NOT make him gay! That’s absolutely ridiculous. A gay kid may wear a dress, but wearing one doesn’t cause gayness. Wow. 🙄

@Sofabeast It sounds like we are 100% in agreement?

Culture directs us as to what is normal. In western society the military has been a straight male enclave until recently, and homosexuality is seen as populated by effeminate males. Yet look to Ancient Greece and the Spartans. The toughest, hardest strongest killer military societies humanity has produced and gay/bi. Surely not all Spartan men were gay/bi or is bisexual/pansexual our basic normal?

This would imply that the environment in which the Spartans raised their boys led to a higher incidence of gay and bisexual behavior. Don't you agree?

@BD66 I do agree. Although there are biological drives which lend us to be more hetero or homosexual, culture also guides our behavioural norms. Consider the Gurhka. The men will often engage in homosexual sex without being gay. It's just sex, and if you're up in the highlands tending Yaks with no women about, it is often the duty of the youngest to 'play' the woman.
Often in male prisons, some men will have sex with other men wilst encarserated just for sexual release or to exert power over another. Once outside, they may display anti gay sentiment, until banged up again.
Look to the Polynesian peoples pre-Christianity. The cultural norm for women would be to openly have sex with new travellers. If you didn't have sex with the chief's wife, that would be a great insult.
These are just some examples of culture affecting sexual behaviour. In other words, you do not have to be homo or bisexual to enjoy sex with someone of your own gender!

10

because they're secretly afraid dicks are delicious- Joe Rogan

8

I just ask a person who believes this crap when they decided to be Heterosexual or straight? They usually get a puzzled look on their face and tell me they were born that way. That is when I tell them so then the gay person was “born the way they were too”. They usually don’t have anything more to say to me.😉

The first time I heard a person say that homosexuality was a choice I thought about it for quite a while. I asked myself when I decided to be heterosexual. I could not remember. So I asked myself if I thought I was gay. Happy, yes, looking to have sex with men, No! So just so you know I have never decided which way to be. Perhaps other people do but for me the discussion is not to be considered. As far as for other people are concerned, why would I care unless they invited me into their bedroom? I do not have time for these people as they are usually gay themselves and just do not want to deal with it.

I was once told that all people were born straight and that gay people choose to be gay or were "turned" gay by gay adults. I like Dan Savage's response to anti-gay Ben Carson when he claimed being gay was a choice. Savage told him to choose to be gay and have sex with him.
[vox.com]

8

The Hebrew/Christian/Muslim God has always had an issue with sex. As late as a century or so ago, the only legitimate reason for sex was producing babies. In early 20th century America, a woman could receive a reputation as a "loose woman" if she allowed her husband to have sex with her too often or if she admitted to enjoying sex with her husband. Good Christian womem just didn't do sex unless she wanted a baby. Anyone who wants sex for enjoyment or pleasure, had something wrong with them.

Since gay sex doesn't produce babies, it must be lustful only and therefore a sin. Christians also claim that homosexuality is unnatural because it doesn't produce babies - never mind that hundreds and hundreds of animal species engage in same sex sexual behaviors including penetration. A few species have been documented to form long term same sex partnering which pair up for life. In the case of some bird species, a same sex pair has been observed to steal eggs from neighboring opposite sex pairs. Together, they incubate and rear the young just as any opposite sex pair.

In terms of Christians insisting that being gay is a choice, they must believe that humans can only choose to sin. If not, then a significant part of their belief system falls apart. Individuals must be able to choose not to sin. Without choice, their God is unjust having created individuals who are predisposed to sin and do not choose it. If their God is not just, then their faith is moot.

Some good points here.

8

You've gotta remember that these are just simple people. The people of the land. The common clay of the new west.

You know....morons.

6

Because they need and excuse for their fear. The most ardent anti-gay ones, I suspect, are closet homosexuals themselves. Can't prove it, of course, but that's My opinion.

I was gonna say the same thing. A bunch of them are repressing their natural state, and it makes them crazy and irritable. “If I can’t act on it, no one can” mentality, I guess.

@Apunzelle That's kind of how I see it, along with some self-hatred as well.

6

I attribute it to ignorance. Many who are homophobic are racists as well. Agree/Disagree?

I'd be curious to see if there's a correlation between homophobia nd racism if that's ever been studied.

@Sgt_Spanky -most that I have met dislike both.

@Sgt_Spanky my ex-husband since becoming a Trumper dislikes immigrants, black and brown people and the GBLTQ community. He grew up in Brooklyn with black friends and worked for me when I ran a GBLTQ business.

@sassygirl3869 Trump's influence is never anything but toxic. Is this change to his personality the reason he's your ex?

@Sgt_Spanky - we have been divorced for 20 years but we share a daughter. He was a rock n roller when I met him 25 years ago. Big change,

That corrilation is called religion. But I know that was not the intent of the question. It is certainly true among the religious but I can not back that up with a study. I would love to see the statistics. Doing such a poll is very difficult as most people would lie about it. Even many skin heads do not believe they are "racist"... twisted.

@sassygirl3869 Some people let the frustrations of life get to them and just snap.
Shame.

@Storm1752 -are you referring to my ex or that lady?

6

Well, considering christians have been dragged kicking and screaming to this point of morality where they no longer stone women for not being a virgin on the night of their wedding, thinking slavery is okay, and way too many other abhorrent behaviors to list briefly; they are just grasping at straws now. They almost have nothing left to control. So they hold on with their fingertips the last few ideas they believe they can publicly get away with, like homosexuality and women's reproductive rights. All under the guise of "morality".

So they are triggered by their loss of ground and constantly act like victims and say that their religion is under attack, when the actual reality is that they are not victims of ANYTHING. Noone is stepping on their toes, we are merely trying to get them off of everyone elses toes. They can go believe whatever ridiculous bullshit they want. They can also keep that shit to themselves and out of our public sphere.

To paraphrase a Christopher Hitchens quote " I am perfectly happy for people to have these toys, but they will not insist I play with them too."

6

The worst homophobes are closet cases who want to overcompensate.

5

The answer to your question, y believe, is that you are trying to use reason to solve this riddle, while the riddle is the product of irrational thinking. Ignorant frightened rigid-thinking people do not react to reason. And of course, their god is exactly the way they want it to be. In fact, if there is anything in their bible with which they don’t agree, they just ignore it and read another part of the bible that contradicts what they are ignoring and says what they want to read. And of course, the gods are created by their worshipers. You just have to read Deuteronomy I to clearly see how that god was created by men.

good point I've made it myself many times I believe that the just the god-shaped vacuum an individuals is due to the fact that we determine at some point that our parents are just people. we need to create a powerful Immortal parent the to take responsibility for our lives so we don't have to.

@m16566 Yes, they need to create a protecting father that saves them even from death. That is a very insecure way of existing.

5

Christians tell you flat out that god did not create Adam and Steve. Since they believe man and woman are to procreate and "replenish the earth" they automatically understand that this cannot happen when people are gay. If you are homosexual you are going against the teachings of their book so being gay must therefore be a choice you have made. It makes sense to them but they fail to see that biblical homosexuality only deals with men. This is because women are actually considered property. The bible never deals with lesbianism.

Wrong as they are, they think gay is a choice and Mike Pence and friends will always want to "pray away the gay." Many even think that demon spirits made you gay. Trying to pray away this gay is no different to them than praying that the playboy male who married Susie will be faithful to only her now and stop going with all the other women. If this is a little trucked up it's because their book cannot be wrong and neither can their god.

I've never understood the need for the term "lesbian." Gay means one is attracted to one's own sex, not specifically just men but anyone attracted to their own sex, male or female.

@Sgt_Spanky I can agree but we do have that word and it also gets used.

@DenoPenno I know. It's just a personal peccadillo.

@Sgt_Spanky I believe it comes from the stories about the country of Lesbos.

for example " gay and lesbian Alliance " it's sort of like saying women and people .

5

Any one who think this has no idea about the diversity of any species. There is no white or black, no pure race, we all have the DNA given us by the first humans. Also there is no male or female in a pure sense. We are all participating in what we are given by Nature and Nature does not work with absolutes. Everything is a mixture, the pure die out to be replaced by something that responds better to what Nature needs. We all have the possibility for everything and it is our manner of being in the world as diverse creatures that assures our existence.

5

The poison-trap they have set for themselves is that someone being gay cannot be God's doing. Therefore they have to pretend that it's the decision of an individual so that they can be punished and pushed into feeling guilt and shame, even though a moment's introspection shows that to be a ridiculous notion. This is the split-personality double-think of their crazy superstition.

That sounds like it..

5

Because many of the male leaders have chosen to be straight when they're really gay.

It also appeals to men who feel any sort of feminity makes them appear weak and they are horrified at the thought that a male homosexual might be attracted to them. Of course we all know that the Christian religion is basically patriarchal and inforcing masculine standards helps maintain that power.

Like many things there's lots of different reasons for lots of different people. A woman I respect very much said that in some instances homosexuality is a choice But most of the time it is a fact of birth. I was engaged to a guy in college that certainly appeared to be very heterosexual and when I broke up with him he had another girlfriend. After that he moved to San Francisco and became gay.

My granddaughter informed me that most females are on a spectrum from 1 to 5 and 1 or 5 which I can't remember means you are very very heterosexual and the other extreme is you like someone of the same sex. I know several lesbian couples that married men in their youth and didn't change their lifestyle until their fifties or even sixties.

I've often wondered whether all of the guys who enjoy watching 2 women make love also enjoy watching two guys make love.

4

I do not think homosexuality is a choice; it is a normal variant of human sexuality. We do not choose who we are attracted to, or not. I always say-- if we were to find a society, population, WITHOUT homosexuality--that would be abnormal. That said, even if it were a choice, how does it cause anyone any harm. The only harm it causes is in people's narrow, brainwashed, minds.

I actually think you can choose to dabble.

@MsDemeanour : That would be a choice of behavior; and not everyone has the urge to dabble. I can't imagine engaging in sex with someone that I was not sexually attracted to. I have never been sexually attracted to a woman and I have no desire to dabble; so I don't ever see myself making the choice to do so.

If one does have the desire to dabble, is it a choice to have that desire, or simply part of who they are hardwired to be sexually?

But, as I said, even if it were to boil down to being a choice, as long is no one is harmed...
et vivere, reservate.

3

The dogma in Judeo/Christianity warns of dire consequences, so has managed to create fear. Fear is an excellent start fro controlling others. As sexuality is a spectrum, most people have some degree of attraction to others who share their sexuality. Within the context of dogma, people become afraid of themselves. I think when they enounter sexuality it provokes fear. It appears to Xians to be a choice. I encountered this explananation during a a LGBT workshop at a national convention of mental health counselors.

I have read some writings pointing to Religion's obsession with sexuality and sexual behavior as being absolutely intentional. The reason is the Fear-as-control-weapon you allude to. Arguably nothing is more personal than one's sexuality. It is also complex and diverse. I cannot think of a more perfect target for fear-mongering Christian leaders to seize upon for the purpose of convincing the faithful of their inherent shamefulness and need for repentence. And realize "repentence" means convessinf to those leaders and being willing to do as they tell you. It is pathetically on the nose accurate that Christianity uses the Sheep/flock metaphor for people of the church. Sheeple. It is sadly laughable.

3

Christianity is not interested in evolving. Love is love attraction is attraction. It’s a pity that christianity is
this way because they promote hatred and division.
They are missing out on extraordinary humans.

3

I once saw someone ask a homophobe something and now I ask homophobes the same thing: at what age did you CHOOSE to be straight? Taking it a step further, if it is all a choice, can you CHOOSE to be gay for a day, week, etc. and then go back to being straight? According to their logic, they should be able to do so easily since it is all a matter of "choice" after all. Morons

Clearly you can choose sexual behavior for the most part not sexual desire.
I wonder how many Catholic priests start out as deeply religious gay young men; who cannot accept who they are. and then later in life they lose control and are exposed.
I myself am naturally bisexual I believe most people are I act heterosexual; I don't want the stigma.

The vast majority of priests and brothers are gay. I have experience with priests and brothers who were closeted.

@m16566 That is the problem. Xtian bigots think homosexuality is limited to sexual acts. WRONG. A person is still homosexual (or hetero or bi) even if they never have sex or are still virgins. Sexuality is about ATTRACTION, and we do not choose who we are attracted to.

3

Does it really matter? If you are asking whether it is a choice or whether you are born with the tendency, you've missed the boat.

Even if it were a choice and had no biological basis, homosexual people aren't inherently hurting people by being homosexual. The same standards apply. As long as they aren't forcing themselves on anyone else, it's none of anyone else's business.

3

At the time Christianity was invented, people lived in a dog-eat-dog world. Luckily, we'll never have to deal with that! The theory was that humans were made in the image of God so every single person had a spark of that divinity in them and should be treated as such. That was revolutionary. How we got from this notion of universal love to the likes of Westboro Baptist Church would be an interesting history.

3

Secret longings ?

bobwjr Level 10 May 26, 2020
3

Stupidity is rampant with religious fanatics.

3

In my very unqualified opinion; it's brainwashing and tendencies by certain unscrupulous leaders to consolidate their power by uniting their followers against a common threat. Not having the courage to face a real threat, they choose a "moral threat" and due to their cowardice they pick an easy target, a small group which wields little power in reality and with whom most people won't identify.

Given a lot of revelations that have come out over the years about homophobic christian leaders, it seems the choose the LGBTQ community because of their inability to act on their own secret desires.

As a straight man, I try to speak out against homophobes when they spout of and demonstrate that not all of us are eager to persecute someone over an insignificant difference.

As far as homosexuality being a choice, when you hear anyone say they believe it is, ask them when they chose to be straight. I don't remember ever waking up on day and thinking, 'Okay, I'm going to like girls.'

JimG Level 8 May 26, 2020
3

I am inclined to believe that homosexuality is genetic in origin. I do not see why a person would simply choose the option knowing the difficulties it could well produce in dealing with others.

3

They need it to be a choice. If it's biological it weakens their arguments against evolution.

2

You can choose how to behave, but in most of cases it will bring only pain to go so much against your feelings...

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