My thoughts as well. It’s okay to not agree, it’s not nessecary that we all think exactly the same. But it would be nice if people wouldn’t be rude or cruel. There are discussions I’m not okay about, I just stay the hell out of them.

In the past, when I was a moderator of another board (for gifted adults), we had our share of difficult people (most of them just trying to grandstand). I would try to mediate and come to some mutual understanding. I could often see some validity in both points of view. That being said, when emotions were triggered, I could see how some offended parties just wouldn't ignore the troublemakers and stop engaging with them, but would deliberately poke the bear back and rational discourse would fall by the wayside as tempers flared.

I've seen other members protectively pile on a newcomer who was simply a little bit more provocative. That also gets ugly.

Each of us has to decide for ourselves how much to engage and how to deal with conflict. It's not always possible or even advisable to avoid an opposing view. Sometimes hearing something you don't want to hear makes you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Lots of times it just means something has come up in you that is worth a deeper look to find out why it did elicit an emotional reaction. And then the potential for growth can happen.

But if anyone is routinely mean-spirited or being gross, my vote is for blocking them. These days, I have precious few hours outside of work and I don't need to deal with someone who can't play nice in the sandbox. However, I also don't expect or need someone else to completely police other people on my behalf, I can do that myself.

I won't say anything here that I won't say to you in person. It's easy to hide behind a monitor and be a dick.

In theory, we all have something in common here on this site. It doesn't mean we all share the same experiences. People who have been treated badly in the past sometimes act out. Not to say there is an excuse for bad behavior, but perhaps this community can respond to a teachable moment and help someone grow beyond past experience?

Yes, I've noticed on here that there are some very intolerant people who are not shy about expressing their thoughts in a hostile and rude manner. I actually blocked one member who was quite abusive on a thread--and then followed me around to other threads, trying to continue the "discussion".

I don't think personal insults and mocking someone's beliefs are conducive to a meaningful exchange of ideas. Quite the opposite, in fact.

On the other hand, I just had a very interesting and pleasant discussion with someone who was polite and rational throughout. It was quite refreshing.

Not seen many posts where people are being outright nasty , seen a few posts where people are complaining about others being rude though . The last person I noticed doing this every other post he did was him complaining about others being rude/trolls or abusive , when someone complains that much I tend to think it's not others but them . When I pointed this out to him he blocked me so really did prove to me he was a snowflake and didn't know how to debate properly .

I have this theory that people try to improve themselves or at least make them themselves feel better about themselves, they do this in either one of two waysThe first is study/enlightenment/self improvement which let's be honest is bloody hard work,The second, which I think a lot (if not the majority of people do-hence tribalism, nationalism etc.) is to put others down the simple I am better than you mentality which reults in Racisim, sexism and all the more ugly human characteristics. I'm pretty sure this applies when it comes to agnostic/athest/theist beliefs-"I am betterthan you because I believe"-"No your just a sheep", so it's logical to assume some comments on here can get heated and depending on how thick skinned or sensitive or confident you are in dealing with such comments will result in how you react.Some peoles views are entrenched and will not change-that's how wars start!I'm all for free speech but you can't debate with a fanatic, acouple of people should moderate and if there appears to be a repeat offender then they should be given a chance to use less offensive language,it's tricky as what's offence to one person isn't to another but if you can demonstrate to a person why others may find it offensive some people can moderate their language, those that can't well three strikes then your banned temporarily, then finally has a long historical(although I am not suggesting it is correct)precedent.

I don't mind disagreement. In fact, if done respectfully it can be constructive. I've had people point out flaws in my comments, and found them to be correct, at least having valid points, and it has helped me in my own thinking.

But outright attacking and name-calling are totally out of line, in my opinion, and I will personally not tolerate it, not against myself or others. When I see that, or someone making idiotic defenses/assertions of what I consider foolish ideas, or ideals, the attacker gets blocked, period. I'm not going to argue, not going to try to help them "see the light"; that, to me is a waste of my precious time.

People attacking others are too myopic and self-serving to be bothered with. They are typically powerless individuals with oversized egos whose self-importance gets in the way of their humanity, compassion, and humility; and at some point in their miserable (likely self-loathing) existence, they will hopefully learn that kindness and understanding are their own rewards; but I'm afraid I am not a sufficiently persuasive person to impress that upon them. Perhaps they'll learn it in their own time, perhaps not.

The last time I initiated a discussion, I was accused of being racist by a few people who didn't understand my post and don't know anything about me. I don't know if the misunderstanding was my fault or theirs. If I didn't communicate clearly, a lot of people did understand, and accusations started flying without one person asking for clarification. So I think that some people just want to take offense.

It's a matter of personal preference how you want to deal with people who rub you the wrong way, and if they're a legitimate detractor from the site, that's up to the admin (s).

I would prefer, after my last experience, that people who want to make accusations without trying to clarify the point just block me.

Ad Hominem is the arena of a person with no arguement.
That said, Hard to make any blanket statement about such things as I see them as a case by case situation.

This is a site called Agnostic.com, and as such you will find people who uuse and define Agnostic very differently.
You can (and do) have Agnostic Christians and Agnostic Atheists, as Agnosticism addresses a question of Knowledge and Theism one of belief.
I am a Skeptical Ignostic and I have noted a lot of people with diverse beliefs about spiritual matters on the site.

Now if someone presents me with some claim, which to them, inside their bubble makes perfect sense; yet to me is utter bollocks, is it ethical for me to ignore that?
I do not think it is. I do no think it is ethical for me to allow my fellow human to labor under some false understanding or assumption if it seems to me that is the case. I feel obligated as a person to try and get them to see that their brain might be fooling them, or show how that works, because our brains do that to us all.

One Step further, is that comfortable?
Might it seem rude?
Might it seem rude or disrespectful even if I attempt to present it in as respectful a manner as possible simply because it touts against the belief the other person has inside their bubble?

The other day here ran into a thread where a woman claimed she had lost time, that she had traveled hours in minutes. Not once or twice, but repeatedly over several years, until she bought a new car. That a four hour drive was taking 20 minutes.

I confronted her on this as politely as I could. Told her she would be breaking land speed records.
Nope, she was teleporting.
THAT made more sense to her, that she had found a wormhole in time she could not find anymore, than that she and others were mistaken, or made an error in time, had a broke clock and so on.

When I told her that was just as fantastic a claim as religion, as walking on water and raising the dead, she is teleporting like Nightcrawler or found a land bermuda triangle no one else ever did :THEN she got angry at me and wanted to leave the site, she did not feel welcome because her fantastic claim of teleportation was not believed outright with no evidence.

I asked her why would you make such a fantastic claim in a public venue and not expect someone to call you on such a claim?

Group Mods work, but create authoritarin online societies.
It is easier for people to just block those who they feel offended by
BUT that leaves humans isolated in the bubble they inhabit, something social media already strives to do by collecting people of like minds (Agnostics).

I do not want people to feel pushed out or shouted down, nor to I want the site to become a propaganda arm for the Woo express.

MAYBE we should try being civilized adults?

I have overtly challenged people's ideas on here as they aren't in the spirit of the forum and I'm not ashamed of that. I would only do it in open discussion, not in private messages. Blocking people that offend you is surely the best way to avoid it, but it risks creating little echo chambers within the site.

I have had a couple but they were only trolls, not permanent members, they went away very quickly. Not sure if they were kicked out or went of their own accord. I just checked and they have not been active since. We are all different, we will all have different opinions, I think it is fine to differ, state our case, answer any questions but not continually argue our points, ie try and badger people to concede.

I just don't care. If they choose to be a rude asshole, it's their business. I have no idea why they do it. Maybe they are weak, and it makes them feel tough, maybe they are insecure and so they attack first, maybe they are narcissitic bullies who get a boner when they are assholes. Maybe they have sycophants who they want to impress so they can be more adored. Whatever it is, there is no excuse for it. Other weak, insecure, narcissistic bullies may be impressed by it, but I'm not, and most normal people aren't either. If that is what it takes to give meaning to their pathetic little lives, so be it.

• Don't take personally
• Ignore
• Consider equanimously, as appropriate
• Clarify respectfully, as appropriate
• Take ownership, if necessary
• Report
• Offer support to the aggrieved, in cases of abuse
• Block

I have never blocked.
I have reported once or twice.
I have never felt personally attacked--although my ideas/arguments have, on several occasions, been rudely savaged.

I have seen next to nothing of the personal attacks and insults you describe (which is not to say they're not happening; I just haven't seen them).

I have seen many instances of people claiming "attack" and invoking "free speech" and whatnot when presented with perfectly acceptable (i.e. not rude) counterarguments, refutations, or calls for substantiation.

If and when I see inappropriate behavior, I will not hesitate to report it.
I will not reward the bad behavior of bad actors by giving them attention for it.

My threshold for naming (online, verbal) behavior "inappropriate" or "abusive" is pretty high, I gather, compared to many others. That's fine. Nobody's gotta do like me.

As for calling out "rudeness", well...I'm no one's momma. If a grown-up wants to go about life treating people that way, they can reap what they sow. If that means others call them out, or block, or retaliate, that's fine. What they reap from me is getting ignored. I'm fine with it.

I have commented on posts, voicing my opinion on the topic, without personal attack or name calling because, its about a topic, stick to facts & in cases where i speak to my own experience, I reference exactly that. Some topics are hot button issues &, in my opinion its takes on an imperative to maintain focus on the topic & choose words carefully, while still making the point, which does not includes throwing personal shade at the OP. (Edited because I left out 2 words...)

That said, in responding to hot topic posts, the OP may have emotional investment in the topic or, because of being attacked by others, may feel all responses that are not lock step with their idea constitutes a personal attack. In those case i review my response because I have a type of dyslexia which skews my comprehension of written word (edit above & below) & I can inadvertantly leave things out even after reviewing multi times before posting. If i wasn't clear, i apologize & offer clarity. If I was clear & what i've written is misconstrued, experience has taught me to keep it moving, no response other than "you're right" will be good enough to the OP & i have too much real life stuff going on to concern myself with "overly butt hurt random internet fuck # 239".

I've had this problem on other social media as well.
I'm WAY more active on this site than I have ever been on any other. I like to think that this site is populated with critical thinkers and not attention-seeking drama-kings/queens.
Truth seems to be, the larger the group becomes, the more 'drama' and attacks will occur.

On Facebook (not that it's perfect, but it is a pioneer) there's the ability to have private groups, where only invited people can join, or random people need approval to be allowed to join. This works rather well, but...
If we take this stance and only belong to groups that agree with our own opinions, we don't grow, we don't expand, we don't learn and we run the risk of isolating ourselves from the 'bigger picture'.

I'm still all for the private groups, but I try to keep the 'bigger picture' in mind too.

Hitler was appeased over and over again. Action is the only thing that will "cure" the problem. If it happens to you and others you know, band together and complain to @Admin.

I usually just tell them exactly what I think of their assessments. Then they usually block me, so I don't see their posts anymore. Since joining, there is still only one person on my blocked list.

I try to be pleasant and should they persist I block them. The thing I wonder about is this is at least to a point a dating site, so, what do they have to gain by being a dick?

Call them out on it. On top of that, I think, all that sees the abuse need to do the same.

I've only just joined and haven't seen any overt rudeness but some general undiplomatic douchbaggery (...in my opinion)

Sadly the anonymity of the internet seems to make some people think that they can say whatever they like with impunity.

When there are tools to flag inappropriate behaviour, I think it is a good solution when someone is out of line - then it is up to moderators to review and decide how to move forward. If they are repeat offenders, moderators become aware of it and the person should eventually be blocked. If it was a once off bad taste comment, or just something that offended you, then the moderator can leave them be or let them know they're on thin ice.

If you feel able to call them on it, thats also an option but sometimes it can lead to ongoing bickering. At least with a moderator they are just doing their job and the person shouldn't be made aware who's flagged them.

I've been here 3 days:
Had one misunderstanding (worked it out together) ?
Had one pervy troll (blocked)?
EVERYONE other than pervy troll has been AWESOME❣??
I like it here. No need to let dark energy infiltrate all the good stuff we have going on here❣?

I’ve noticed what I’d consider very few attacks.. Unlike some battlezones I’ve experienced elsewhere online Folks here seem very respectful, sincere and tolerant… I’ve attributed that to ‘us’ having existed as a minority in a hostile world, thus learning to ..keep our mouths shut a little better/ longer than most..

If someone does appear to strike out in some manner, which hopefully I’m not too guilty of, I’ll attribute that to them feeling personally offended, and do my best to respect that. What bugs me are the passive-aggressive comments ..often ending with ‘in their humble opinion.’ ...but who likes passive-aggressive?

...I’ve also noticed the ‘worst offenders’ totally disappear … leaving me to wonder ..is there a god

I've yet to have a personal attack. If I did, I'd bite back. Otherwise, I just scroll on by, and go about my business.

I believe their attacks are generated from insecurities inside themselves.

Report them to the site.. I think they do a pretty good job getting rid of the trolls...