Recently relocated from Denver, CO to Greenville, SC. Big change for me. I live with my sister and we came out here to help our elderly father and because the cost of living is lower. I'm also happy to get out of the snow!
This has been a very stressful move as my sister and I do not get along. Sometimes being an atheist is hard. There is no "other being " to blame for stuff that happens. There is no "purpose", no "God's will", and you have to accept responsibility for whatever the problem is. Just so tired of it all. Tired of being the adult, tired of being responsible, tired of having to do it all. I know it is just stress talking. Hopefully things will settle down in the next week. Thanks for listening!
Welcome to the Bible Belt!
I totally get it. My daughter and I can meet in the middle, but nobody else in my family understands how I can cope WITHOUT god.
Vent away, if youβre stressed, many of us here to listen and offer support.
I hope the stress decreases as you settle in. Hang in there!
You have my sympathies. Boundaries!!!!! Maintaining strong ones will be very important moving forward.
I find it helpful to keep the focus on whatever project is at hand, cleaning, cooking all the physical aspects of caring for an elderly parent. Put your foot down - nicely of course - that there is no need to discuss your personal choices and that you have no interest in hers.
That said, no snow but humidity is terrrible!!
You can ALWAYS vent on this site and everyone is here to support you!
Wow, CO to SC … and I thought my move from OR to VA was a shock.. You must be totally surrounded by dripping religion & southern drawl. At least you can vote/ campaign against Lindsey Sounds like β¦Hell ..though, as mentioned - you canβt even use that!
Cost of living is something, isnβt it? The Portland metro area back in OR had gone nuts! Over here, SW Virginia, I likely spent a third of what Iβd have paid for a comparable house βback home.β And if it werenβt for: the bugs, humidity, churches and trumpers, itβd be near perfect.
But youβre even further down thereβ¦ Donβt know how SC produced Stephen Colbert, though heβs got a foot in religion, too..
Iβve always recognized it being harder on a daily basis for we Atheists, having to deal with everything in a realistic way. But itβs when we βhit the wallβ that we shine! Religionists appear to happily bob along, but when hitting that same wall - they burst Not accustomed to viewing reality straight on, when their god-tainted glasses break, so do they. We struggle, but trudge ahead ..like we always have.
Thought I might break, having lost a lot.. But through the tears, emerged ⦠into ..a land of bugs, humidity, chur⦠Stay real ~
Thoughts: Originally from the open minded diverse parts of CA, I wound up in Idaho, which most donβt realise is as biblebelt (though more LDS), right wing trump stupid as the south, complete with confederate flags and a drawl. But as others have said, there are like minds hidden in corners, or if not minds than hearts who will accept you for your obviously good one (taking care of Dad despite the drawbacks). And yes, to find peace/happiness it is incumbent on us to find our purpose in life without the aid of a fairytale or promised payback. Right now, your Dad is that too, but is seems you know yourself well enough to find more of the inner βhappy placeβ to balance the outer BS that will come at you from your sister et al. I do animal volunteer stuff and it muffles much of that BS noise so I donβt focus on it. Allow the beautiful weather, or cost of living that can allow you more comfort, or whatever other positives come from your new digs to our weigh the negatives. And when the noise eeks in, use this site to remind yourself youβre not alone...we understand, empathise, and have your back.
I lived in Idaho for a while and saw the lds situation. 5 full sized churches in under a mile. I forget the road, but it's just outside of Boise, but there is an official road sign declaring that that particular road was kept clean by the local atheist society.
I traveled to Greenville on business until recently, frequently, over 15 years. Yes, it is heavy-duty Bible Belt, and solidly right-wing politics. But despite me being hardcore liberal and non religious, I developed many good friendships. Enjoy the good food, good music, and warm climate. Make the best of it. Most of all, know that you are following your heart in supporting your father as he ages, and be strong in your commitment to him. Be kind to your sister, and if that proves impossible because of her behavior, then go about your business and find ways to make yourself happy. I wish you well.
You have my sympathy. Hang in there.
Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
Hang in there.
It may feel like you're all alone, but there are more atheists here in the South than most people realize.
Some of us just don't let everyone know we're here.
Not me, of course, I'm completely out and defiant about it, but not everyone is.
This is a great place to come and be yourself.
I think i understand,I live in sheltered accommodation In Northern Ireland, It is beautiful here, before we came out I used to think it was always dark and people were always letting off firecrackers and bobs & being very noisy. I couldn't believe how beautiful it was and I love it here in Ballycastle.So I am wishing an hoping for you that you get some time off without your sister and don't ever think of becoming a drudge
Hope things settle and become less stressful. Yes, being the adult is not easy. Your father is lucky to have you as a part of his life.
Dear CopperPenny,
I have only been on this site for a few months and have found it very comforting and reassuring to know that there are like-minded people.
I live in Virginia and moat people I know are very religious. So I can empathize.
Please come here to vent, express your feelings, frustartions, and joys. Whatever.
I have found that people will listen and respond on this site.
HumanistJohn
Dear john, (sorry could not pass that up)
I know it was a typo, but, I think Moat People is very fitting. They have to get past the moat, or live in it, to get to you.
Yes, being fully responsible is difficult at times, but the balance, on the other end is wonderful too. Take a deeper breath, be outside when you can and it's all good! Hugs!
What do you mean there is no purpose? What higher purpose can you find in life than being the best person you can be in this short life that we have? What higher purpose can there be other than making our planet much better than how we found it? Volunteer and help others, humans, animals and the environment, there are plenty of secular organizations that need help and will be very happy you decided to do this. We don't wait for death to receive some cockamamie reward. We do it here, in our lifetimes, with real tangible results rather than the bullshit of he will take care of it all that brainwashed religious people think without a single shred of evidence. We make things happen where it matters and that is the loftiest purpose one is happy to have. The rest are fairytales that make these people feel good without doing shit in most cases that are tangible and real.
Congratulations on your move, I hope it will be a positive change for you! Remember to take some time for yourself; it sounds like you're in a stressful situation. Having some time to just relax and decompress will make a big difference in your well-being, especially during this adjustment period.
I hear you. I grew up in the relative sanity of the Pacific Northwest(Seattle), though my parents were wingnuts. I have been in the Deep South the past 30 years. Believe it or not, there are a few atheists over here. ...I might just know all of them, lol. It is very helpful to connect with the freethinkers wherever you are.
But you mentioned wishing you could blame a deity for shit. Funny, because Christians I see who are in therapy for depression and anxiety torture themselves over the notion that their god must be cruel to put such suffering into his "master plan" or else they fret over what they must have done to deserve their suffering...yes, they blame themselves for shit that had nothing to do with anything they did or chose.
As for loving where you are, I embrace the weather, as it gives me long seasons for gardening, my personal resource for exercise and meditation with nature.