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Below is the invite heading to a short lived non religious group in the UK. Although it failed after a few months, do you think it was a practical suggestion ? Did it have a chance of succeeding ? Would it have worked in the US?

  Its title was                       **DARE TO BE HONEST**

Hi
Let us co-create a community where we are safe to share what we feel, think, what made a lasting effect on us, or what disturbs us.
In our meetings in the opening round we all tell something personal about ourselves that we would like to share in a loving community. Then we connect to each other, validating what we heard, sharing our own stories, reflecting on what touched us, sharing our insights and conjectures, even asking questions.
All members need to be psychologically stable and experienced enough, enabling us to share a lot of helpful insights about ourselves and the others, and make good use of what we hear. I hope our meetings will be intense, personal, caring and emotional.
Please contact me if you are interested.
Janos
DETAILS REDACTED

We invite the others to relate to what we told, and to give their honest views and feedback. It is an outspoken, friendly community, not a therapy group. We discuss topics both outside and inside of the group (our relations with each other, here and now). What is personal, moving, touching, important for you/us? Let us talk about these.
We disclose who we really are. We speak from our hearts. We dare to face the (inner and outer) reality, choosing to be authentic, even when it feels risky and uncomfortable. We support each other to dare to live more and more honestly. Here we make a genuine effort not to play games, we abstain from (self-)delusion, biases, projection, usual (unjust) ego-defences.
We need the warmth of liking each other to lower our guards, masks, roles, disguises. What are your criteria to be honest? Let us co-create a place where we meet our criteria.
Hopefully we attain a state where we genuinely feel that we like/love each other. My main motivations are: to make friends, feel compassionately, connect with mind and heart, feel accepted and appreciated, understand others better, gain insights, inspiration, support, personal development, practise daring to tell what I feel and think, in a nurturing way. These are the benefits you can expect too.
I participated in several encounter, group dynamics, heart, non-violent communication

(https://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations), Bohm dialogue (http://www.david-bohm.net/dialogue/dialogue_proposal.html), training (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-groups), co-counselling (http://www.co-counselling.org.uk/)

groups and I like many aspects of them. I facilitated some groups. I plan to facilitate this group in the beginning, but I would like to co-create this community. It is a shared responsibility here to hold each other, to create a safe, loving atmosphere, where we feel the esteem, respect, understanding, good will, fairness, liking of the others, that enables/helps us overcome withholding, fears, bad routines, avoidance, procrastination. We all need to give attention, utter any concerns, make suggestions, be assertive, accept that others like us, dare to be vulnerable, and take care. Every member needs to be trustworthy, keep everything we share strictly confidential, be understanding, not hurting others. We need honesty, not only comforting. We stretch, but do not overstretch (ourselves and others). We need to dig deeper when we talk about ourselves than when we talk about others.
When we relate to someone else’s story, we prioritize the interest of the other over releasing our tensions. We practise giving candid feedback, offering insights with the aim to help the other, when the other is receptive, in a style that is nurturing for the other. Is it in the best interest of the other? We can share what we observe in ourselves and others, and we can think as well, analyse, ask e.g. To what extent could it be because/related to …? Let us tend to raise questions, conjectures, rather than state something about the other.
How can I improve/amend my views and what I heard, so that they become (more) true and helpful to me, provide inspiration so that I really solve my issues? - this is the attitude I would like to practise (instead of refusal, denial, ego-defence).
We do not strip others’ masks, but get encouraged to allow our real selves to live by experiencing that others still like us even if they see what they see, so we can put down our burdens.
During the group meetings we try to be mindful of what resonates in us, how we feel, what touched our heart or triggered us and reflect on our internal happenings. We practise to hold on a bit, try more functional (less dysfunctional) reactions. We practise telling our Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests.
I suggest meeting fortnightly, for 3 hours, 7-10 pm, in a weekday evening; the group discusses it and decides.
We need an intimate, undisturbed meeting place, in or near Reading.
The cost of a meeting will be the venue hire fee split evenly among the group members.
In the first 3-5 meetings it will be an open group, then there used to be a natural tendency to practically close the group (especially if we are at least 5), then it used to make an overall good effect on the group when a new member who shares the values of the group joins. I found that the ideal group size for me was 6-10, and 4-15 was also very good.
If you want to be an active member of this community, welcome, please write a message to me, introducing yourself briefly, and telling how you would like this community to work, what would you emphasise or add, how prepared you feel yourself for such a group, how strong your desire is to participate in this group.

I am atheist, liberal, vegetarian, 48. I like the enlightenment, respect reality, and dislike bullshit. I am an economist, I work as an IT consultant, I worked as a business and life coach as well. I am an immigrant, moved to the UK 4 years ago from Hungary, with my wife and two daughters, who went to university.
A group norm is to inform the others, to enable the others to make informed decisions, avoiding regret and resenting. We pledge to strive to avoid deceiving others - in every sense. It is a good place to practise candour, being brave and telling what there is inside me, facing and dealing with the consequences, creating clarity, finding purity, relief, freedom, peace, wholehearted life, enthusiasm, energy.

Mcflewster 8 July 27
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5 comments

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0

Does anyone think that this chap is looking for a Roman Catholic Priest without the religion? He could have had one in the past. Roman Catholic priests keep the revelations secret when they should have told the police. How religions distort.

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Not likely to succeed for long anywhere.

skado Level 9 July 27, 2020
2

So much of this, I would think, can only come with trust built on experience, and long term communications....To ask it, without that trust would not be something I could, or would be interested in.

1

They are asking a lot of their participants.

1
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