I had a conversation with a member today which I found to be rather odd. I'd like to lay it out and get some input from anyone who would like to provide feedback.
So, the lead up to the conversation was a post that a third party had made a couple of days ago. She disagreed with this other person and she ended up blocking him.
She then contacted me because I had made a comment that she was unable to see because of the block.
here is the dialog.
Her- "I can't read your comment to me on (Redacted) thread because I permanently blocked him as soon as he became rude. I knew he would eventually. I've noticed that people mostly just ignore him. All he can do is post videos, he can't support his claims. He may think he is recruiting but I think he is a detriment to your cause. If you have something to say to me, you may reach me this way."
Me- "How was he rude to you?"
Her- "When I asked him yo support his factual clsims with evidence so I could have a look af it, he said I was making excuses. Standard deflection for him, I expect. I just don't have the time to waste on him."
Me- "I see. My comment was pointing out the source and date which you had asked for."
Her- "If I recall correctly, he had made two claims regarding Biden's positions on things, I can't remember what they were now. Substantiating those claims would require links to credible sources. If his claims were true, linking them to the source would give them credibility. I don't know if his claims were true or not, but I certainly wouldn't take his word for it."
Me- "I don't remember either, but I trust Kulinski.
I've had no issues with him before, I think he is a reasonable person and I feel that your block of him is unjustified.
I'm the sort of person who does not cancel someone unless they have done something really egregious, like stalking or threatening. I think it's important to hear the voices of everyone."
Her- "That has no bearing on me.
I don't give a shit what you think and it's entirely inappropriate for you to have an opinion on me blocking someone. If you can't conduct yourself appropriately, fuck off."
Me- "You started this conversation, I told you what I think.
So I don't even get to have an opinion? Why bother communicating with people here if you block on a whim and tell people they aren't allowed to have an opinion?
You blocked him because he said you made excuses, what would you do if someone told you to fuck off as you just did to me?
Are you able to see the hypocrisy there?
I don't see how productive discussion is possible with someone who blocks for the tiniest of reasons and gets upset and starts using foul language when it is pointed out. So feel free to block me too. If your sensibilities are that delicate, It's just a matter of time before I say something that you disagree with and you label as rude so may as well use that block. Unless maybe you can keep your mind open and speak to me with civility."
Her- "You're a misogynist. If you contact me again, I will block you without reading your message."
This is where it ends. Normally, I would keep a private conversation private, but she made it abundantly clear that if I respond, I will be blocked and the conversation will be gone. As I see it, she called me a misogynist without any logical reason to do so. And therefore, I'd like to get the opinion of the community.
Am I a misogynist?
Please leave any commentary you'd like on this strange exchange.
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13 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Um - wow.... phew. Some one is off a bit.
I think perhaps you suggesting she maybe shouldn't have blocked set off the misogyny trigger ie "Don't you tell me how to think!". Even when she was obviously looking for someone to talk to about the experience she had just had.
Apparently what she wanted was commiseration and agreement and not actual discourse.
Sometimes people do that. (All people actually). It can be a bad day - or it can be a pattern of behavior. You just can't know. (Sometimes the world has gotten on your very last nerve and than social media is the outlet for the hostility because at least no one can 'cough' on your here).
Feel free to block her if she bothered you though. Might be easiest.
I tend to block people at the point at which they say "Fuck off" to me - or say it often enough to other people that I figure I"m next. I don't treat people that way and don't expect it to come my way.
And yet people are still shocked as shit that I have a block list? lol
RavenCT
Level 9
July 30, 2020
1
Update
I've been blocked.
She decided to block without response.
RoboGraham
Level 8
July 28, 2020
1
@jorj
I bet she thinks she really burned me by telling me to fuck off and then blocking.
. . . thought I would post this as a comment rather that a reply . . .
. . . this is PMs 'after the fact' of my being 'ousted' by (one of the group) moderator I referred to below
Her : "This is not verbatim from my post, but your comment was off-topic, unnecessary, critical and rude. The friendly exchange of ideas and opinions on different topics is appreciated."
Me : ""I try hard not to offend; I try harder not to be offended." -- Navy SEAL veteran and congressman Dan Crenshaw. Since when is Critical Thinking off-topic on this non-believer website ? CT is different from criticism. Is there an objective criteria for this group for 'friendly' and 'rude', or is it arbitrary ? Since any individual can block another, why resort to group removal without warning ? Does that abide by website guidelines ? "
Her : "Oh, did I fail to mention the argumentative nature of your post? "
Me : "It is hard not to notice your use of the pejorative. Critical thinkers are open and receptive to all ideas and arguments, even those with which they may disagree."
Her : "Some people enjoy arguement and criticism of others, and I am not one"
Me : "If someone criticises a source, that NEED NOT be taken personally. How do you imagine CT happening without 'argument' (in the ameliorative sense) ? IMO, the alternative is censorship (despite what 'lipstick' might be put-on it). CT is not (personal) criticism."
(You 
Please leave any commentary you'd like on this strange exchange.
FearlessFly
Level 9
July 28, 2020
1
Sounds like you were cordial and polite but still firm in standing up for your viewpoint and your dedication to critical thinking.
That is exactly what we need around here.
Mind if I ask which group this was?
@RoboGraham 50+ group
Oh, I have no experience with that one.
So they welcomed you back into the group then?
@RoboGraham nope, Singles, Mingles, Chat was the other group that 'ousted' me, then was restored-to -- for VERY similar circumstances but different (and
'sassy'
moderator.
Single / mingles group isn't a group for critical thinking or debating topics.. It's a relaxed atmosphere for meeting people...
@Cutiebeauty . . . I don't agree. I don't (intend or) engage in personal attack, but if someone posts or makes comment(s) that are sorely lacking in credibility/facts, I see no reason to be 'OK' with it just because the group is singles.
@FearlessFly if I told you not to put your feet on my coffee table, would you say, "I don't agree with your house rules Kate. " ?
@Cutiebeauty I might say why I think a rule is not reasonable/rational, but your house, your rule(s).
The singles I encounter ALL say they want honesty.
Are they being honest about that ?
@FearlessFly you talking about singles in the group? What ALL want honesty? We're talking about house rules here.. The kids in the house have no say ☺
It was strange from the beginning, to me and clear she was looking for agreement with her view that would justify blocking anyone. I think she proved that. Always wondered if the mean girls in school stay that way. That is what shevremindedvme of, nonsubstance just her own drama
It would be great if she learned something from your exchange. Doubt it.
gigihein
Level 8
July 28, 2020
1
Is that the member by the name of @dead?
Sounds like her.. She blocked me already and I thought I was being nice although I did disagree with her 
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
July 28, 2020
0
@dead is unavailable to me. I guess I had a similar experience but don't remember.
This person goes by the name @lovinlarge
@RoboGraham That even funnier, Wonder when she will start loving large
@RoboGraham I haven't spoken to her but I've seen her around...
I spoke to her a couple of times before this. From what I remember, it was pleasant and we mostly agreed on things.
It's really weird how she flipped like this.
@RoboGraham I had similar weirdness from her, 'threatened' to block me :
"As copied from Facebook, author unackowledged."
. . . my 'criticism' / suspicions were corroborated in a subsequent post
"From Dr."
I'm not able to see her threats because she blocked me.
Good riddance.
Okay so I started to read this then I decided to go through the comments, then I went back and read the rest of this, in my opinion what it's worth it reminds me of a Monty Python DVD ROM it was called a complete waste of time, I believe others have said it's just somebody looking for an argument. currently I have no one blocked I have no reason to block anybody for their words can do no harm to me whatsoever they want to provide me with facts on a subject I will listen.
oldFloyd
Level 8
July 28, 2020
2
I feel the exact same way.
Sounds like you need to block her.
xenoview
Level 8
July 28, 2020
0
I've got a feeling she will be the one doing the blocking as soon as she sees this post.
@RoboGraham
Yes she will block for sure.
Good riddance I guess
There are two possibilities here, IMHO:
-
She’s always in ready-for-a-fight mode and wasn’t going to end the conversation with you until she got what she wanted — a fight, which she precipitated.
-
She’s on edge and took your opinion personally about not blocking.
Either way, assuming your retelling is accurate, you said nothing to warrant her reaction.
Bobbyzen
Level 8
July 28, 2020
0
Thanks Bobby.
It's as accurate as can be minus a name I took out. I copied and pasted directly from the message.
I think it's probably number 2 because I've had other conversations with her in which she wasn't itching for a fight. She didn't expect me to be critical of her decision to block on a whim and that got her upset. Thing is, I'm always critical of anyone who does that.
No you are not a misogynist from what I have read in your post. Sounds like she does not want to debate but just vent. I had someone who told me I must have been abused as a child and was venting my pain because I disagreed with them. And they are one of the people that commented on your post here. So NO, you are not a Misogynist and I'm not a victim of Abuse. lol
dermot235
Level 7
July 28, 2020
2
Thanks, yeah I bet she was just upset and venting. I've had other conversations with her that went quite differently.
Sounds to me like she thinks that is a human right to not be offended. That kind of thinking makes it very hard to make progress in society and have conversations that matter.
SethGerst
Level 1
July 28, 2020
3
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Thanks for your input.
Once she blocks somebody, it's s done deal. She's a neurotic. Why should she care? She could always unblock him to read the thread and block him again. If she had approached me with this. I'd have told her to do that. If she persisted I'd block her. I don't have time for nutcases. You're not a misogynist btw and you should block her.
barjoe
Level 9
July 28, 2020
1
Yes, exactly. Why not just unblock and then go and see the message herself if she was so curious about it. It was her decision to block which made this mess.
Thanks for confirming I'm not a misogynist. It was rather ridiculous of her to make that allegation having such limited contact with me prior.
I won't block her. I don't block anyone. But I'm sure she will absolutely block me as soon as she sees this post.
@RoboGraham I block persistent people who are "repeat offenders" wasting my time on endless back and forth threads. After a bunch of times, I just don't comment on their posts. If they troll me anyway, I block
Sounds like a good strategy
I would consider her misogynist comment as ad hominem.
I have had similar experience(s), two resulting in my removal from group (one was rescinded after the moderator was persuaded to just block me). In both cases, I was engaging in (what I consider to be) Critical Thinking, which was labeled as 'rude' and off-topic ! How CT considered off-topic on a non-believer website is very odd to me.
I agree with "hear the voices of everyone", I have not blocked anyone.
. . . sigh
FearlessFly
Level 9
July 28, 2020
1
I have seen you being rude, Sorry but it's true
@dermot235 Rude is subjective, right ?
. . . example ? to whom ? was I removed from a group ? blocked ?
There are some people, even nonbelievers, who focus too much on the critical part of CT. I'm not going to limit my comments just because some people can't tell the difference between CT and being rude.
I'm glad you take the same stance on blocking as I do. How can we have rational discourse if people have to be worried about being blocked by others who can't control their emotions?
Wow! I wouldn't even bother replying to her anymore.. .
Cutiebeauty
Level 9
July 28, 2020
2
@Fred_Snerd um.. Yes.. I know.. I was there, remember?
@Fred_Snerd are you still butthurt? 
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