My advice if you think it will make you feel good try it. If in fact it does make you feel good then by all means keep doing it. If you find that whatever it is that's making you feel good lands you in jail or on the street, you might want to consider other alternatives. Your gonna have to live and learn, try to be a decent human being for the sake of being a human that has some empathy for others and just don't be some dildo who behaves and conforms because you've been taught your whole life to fear some angry god who's going to commit you to an eternal firey hell if you don't do what your told .

It takes a while. Being involved in a church often includes friendships, social gatherings, meetings, etc. which are now lacking. It will take a while to finish your "recovery", but it's worth it in the long run. You have to live with yourselves first.

Your experience sounds very similar to what my husband and I went through as former JW's, similar beliefs and teachings and all the emotional difficulty that comes from leaving it behind.

Yes we still are trying to figure out our lives and it's been about 6 years since we woke up in our 30's. It feels like we wasted half our lives and we are at such a disadvantage compared to others who had a more balanced upbringing and lifestyle. At the same time it is such a relief to be free from religion.

Several religions tend to try to control members social lives and create activities to keep children form associating with persons who are outside of the religion.

What this does in effect, is retards a persons social skills in developing friendships and relationships outside of the religion. When a person leaves the religion, they find they feel incredibly awkward when it comes to socializing, because their social life has usually been arranged for them.

Indoctrination retards social skills.

Many who leave religion feel a loss, becuase they feel they are no logner part of the group and no longer have a place in a group. It is this feelign of loss and lack of social skills that were retarded by indoctrination that keeps many doubters going through the motions of goign to church so they feel they belong and are in a settign which is familiar to them.

I was raised Mormon, but the aboveapplies to eopel raised in many different religions.

I have never been religious....too many unanswered questions.....but I can relate to your feeling of loss of the environment that defines you. A few years ago I lost everything that defined who I was as a person and it was devastating. It took me a few years to work through the trauma and eventually there was was this person who started to shine through....me.....and I found out that I really liked me. Little by little I started to embrace my change and dwell less on my loss and it opened up a whole new universe. It is not an easy process but have faith (yes that word) in yourself and worth and hang in there....it gets easier.

For me, it was like breaking old habits. I grew up RC, so for a while there was an urge to cross myself or viewing things through the filter of that dogma. I've also become acutely aware of how pervasive religious privilege is in this country. Belief is always privileged over unbelief, and they can say whatever they want--thoughts and prayers, "god" this, "god" that, without any concern for alienating or offending other people. Nonbelievers, on the other hand, always risk offending people just by openly admitting what we are. I don't feel like a victim, but I am acutely aware of my minority status. Our culture is changing, though, and more and more young people are rejecting religion.

Mostly, I felt relief. I had been increasingly uneasy with the bloody, revengeful god of the Bible and the misogynistic, cruel treatment of women. Horrible. Glad to dump it.