It takes time for healing from a long marriage. You have to stop hating that person and get along for the kid's sake if you divorce young when the kids are still children. It can take years depending on what caused the divorce. My second husband and I married when I was 42 and pregnant. It only lasted 2 years - serious issues that I won't recount now. I had to get along with him because I had a two year old. Years later we are friends out of necessity. I broke my back in a hit and run by a trailer truck and 2 years later was diagnosed with leukemia. He was living in his car and tents at truckstops. He moved in my downstairs to take care of my daughter. As I went into remission his health failed and he spent months learning to sit again and he's terminally ill. Moved him upstairs, installed a wheelchair ramp for him and electric stairs and he has a nurse through Medicaid come in every day. He pays a reasonable amount for rent-all those years of no child support are put aside and we try to be civil to each other. Its a challenge.