Two weeks after my dad died, my stepmother informed me that after her previous divorce 15 years before—living back home with her parents and penniless—she had prayed to God, asking for a new husband. She said God had replied that she’ll meet a new husband, and he’ll die of cancer so she can have a house and property. Basically, God would kill my dad so she could have things in her advanced years. You must admit, God is a real sweetheart.

I wish she had made this revelation years before the convenient after-the-fact. We could’ve at least warned dad not to get involved with gold digger, because God will put you on his hit list. What a crock of shit.

It just struck me that "god wanted her cat [so he took it]" doesn't set off alarm bells about how jealous and covetous that god is for people. (Roll with me on granting the premise here.) But definitely work with the kid. Let her know it is ok to feel sad for as long as she needs to feel sad, there is not preset time limit.

What really matters here is this young girl's feelings. Since she feel so sad, she needs to feel that sadness. She needs to cry. Telling her you understand her feelings and it is okay to cry and that you feel sad, too...that you share her feelings...is so much more important than telling a story to help her stop feeling bad.

When she is over the initial grief, it would be a good time to tell her that conventional Christian doctrine says that animals don't have souls, and therefore can't go to heaven. That millions of christians believed that for centuries, and that it is still used in some countries to justify animal cruelty, since it is held by many christian sects, that animals don't therefore really have feelings.

Generally an eye opener that one.

I remember being told that animals don't have souls so they don't go anywhere after death, they're just dead. That was the only truthful thing I think I was ever told by my religious teachers.

Make a special day of taking her out to adopt another cat. The shelters are full of them. So far as the God stuff goes, maybe try and de-program your daughter first. Best of luck.

I would be pissed off at god for taking my pet when there are thousands that are strays, being abused and need a good forever home more than my over indulged pet would. And they is why I am an atheist I guess.

The things society does to children is pathetic. Stories like Santa Claus, The tooth fairy, Demons and Gods. Each child is taught to believe in these fairy tales. Eventually they learn some of the tales are false, but others they accept as truth. Does anyone wonder what cost do silly rituals like these come with? Apparently not... The next generation will carry on the tradition filling their children with the same lies as their parents did.... Over and over again.

Not being able to accept death as part of life was a big impetus for humans creating gods in the first place. Too many have to be able to imagine "somewhere else" for dead beings to go, and somehow carry on, and be all happy n' shit.
But being around that mindset is definitely tough ! ugh.

For fuck sake. The comforting was 10 times more damaging than the loss of the pet.

Your daughter undoubtedly thinks she did good thing. Teach them to keep the next cat indoors and it'll turn out better. I'm sorry for the child but...at 12, she'll figure it out.

I am so sorry.

It amazes me how much xtians can make up about the afterlife. I believe that god(s) is/are a fiction with the probability of existance so low it can be dismissed as impossible. If there is any afterlife we cannot know about it and with no evidence, other than hallucinations arising from LSD use, which I've had, is equally improbable. Despite this they feed such nonsense to their kids. It reminds me of the dead parrot joke from Monty Python.

When a dog dies you tend to hear nonsense like "there are fresh pawprints on the rainbow bridge this morning".Poor pussies have nothing similar as far as I know.

Advise from a shelter volunteer and a old dog myself, tell her to take her daughter to a shelter and look at the oldest cat or dog there before choosing. They will realize the pets are not there forever. Even at thirty five, the first cat I lost was devastating. But as time went on, I realized all we can give them is time. My dog, who I have had for two years may be dying. He was old when I got him and I'm gonna miss him. But I knew our time was a gift to both of us.

Those are tough situations, and you show a strong character to not criticize or argue, wouldn't make a difference to them anyway. Good luck getting through tomorrow! My thought would be to decide on an exit plan like stomachache, headache, anything you could tell someone, or just leave quietly. I don't know if I could take it.

As a volunteer shelter worker, I had to take many animals to the last vet visit. I adopt old dogs and cats, they need a real home, not some corner in the shelter for their last few years. As a result every few years, I have a pet die. The time we give them is most important. They don't get very much to begin with.

Part of religion is taking the cheap and easy way out.

It reminds me of when my cousin asked us on facebook what she should tell her very curious 5 year old son when he asks "where do babies come from" I said " how 'bout the truth" and she said " No, he is too young. I'll just tell him God puts the baby in the mommy's tummy". It is statements like that that make the atheist in me see red. I unfriended her, needless to say.

Sorry for your granddaughter's loss. And sorry you have to deal with both your daughter's current nonsense and the funeral. I hate going to those things too. All the crap at the services make me angry, but still I go, as a show of support for the family. It is the right thing to do. Usually.

You may have to take that 12 year old aside and have a little talk and also with your sister. Tell her that if the child gets another cat and it survives than the child will take it that the cat is bad.

I was just think about how I was going to handle any death in my family considering I've been avoiding almost everyone for the past several years. The last death-related function I went to was my uncle's memorial (one of only 3 people in my mom's generation that I talked to). One of my mom's brothers told me to thank god or pray to god that something something, I don't really remember because I was trying to ignore him anyway. When I didn't respond, he said it again and called me out on why I wasn't agreeing. I quietly told him that I don't believe in God. He started freaking out, and involved his brother in the conversation. My other uncle got all despondent and said he knew already and how sad he was about it like he found out I had a horrible disease. Anyway, I'm thinking I'm just going to skip them and catch up with my cousins a day or so later or something. I'm open to suggestions though...

Good choice.

Is the funeral for the cat?? And since most of my family is religious and spiritual the way I look at it is this, during their grief and turmoil it is NOT my place to add to that grief or give them a spiritual crisis. It is not the time to peddle any atheist "agenda" and to allow people to use their own coping mechanisms to grieve. Sadly, that tends to involve them telling me what they believe and trying to convince me to believe the same. I listen and say uh huh and yeaa alot but I don't buy any of it.