Dad's funeral was on 9-11. It went well but here are just a few of my thoughts.
He was said to be a "hero" and the minister tied him in with 9-11 and the hero's and survivors. Why was I not surprised with this? We were told his race was over and his course was run and he was now in heaven. He was home now. I'm one of the few who saw his dead body in the coffin knowing exactly where he was at. He was simply dead. I knew where he was going without making anything up.
I had left all the arrangements of this event up to my who have turned religious again. I owned dad's life insurance which had been turned into a burial policy. My picked everything out and ran the show. It was better this way.
We only had about 40 people. I decided that this had happened because lots of his friends that we did not know thought he had passed over 3 years ago when he entered the nursing home. He could not walk and would never get out of there alive. Most thought he had gone already and he had developed dementia.
Getting out of our cars at his gravesite my youngest asked me to give the flag to her older coz it would mean so much to her. I agreed. Yes, it was a military type burial and when they gave me his flag I gave it to her. We came up a little short on the final and I told this same older (the POA) how to get the nursing home to for this using dad's own that they had on file. The nursing home agreed and that is being processed now.
I was able to have private talks with others before the graveside burial and the of my 's adopted kids was one of them. (That situation is a long story that is dope involved and a process of keeping the family together which is best for the kids.) I talked to her about how it goes with them now, where they are staying, and other possible options they can pursue.
The strangest thing was that someone told me I need to get lots of death certificates in case somebody sues. OK, sues for what? There is no estate and I saw to that as he entered the nursing home. He had zip. Nada. I had control of his and owned his life insurance. This was arranged by Medicaid who actually the nursing home. Dad had nothing and this little trick will be applied to me also at my passing. All legal and nothing for Uncle Sugar (or others) to get.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.You can make mistakes under stress. I just came back today 3-3-22 to view my favorite post. Going over it again top to bottom, my daughters picked everything out and ran the show. (Par. 1) By the time you get to paragraph 3 I'm telling my oldest daughter, the acting POA, how to get the nursing home to use dad's saved up money from the nursing home and pay it as a gift or donation towards his burial. (Yes this is legal.) That was exactly what happened too. I suppose it is normal for people to tell you to get lots of copies of a death certificate. In this case, why? Dad had no estate. Nothing. I had control of his money and his life insurance through my oldest daughter, the acting POA. Medicaid helped me with some of this and they even paid for his nursing home. Medicaid got the bulk of dad's social security and pension. You just have to know how these systems work to be able to use them and benefit from them.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Mar 3, 2022
0
My sincere condolences. You've done well. Stay strong.
TimeOutForMe
Level 8
Sep 13, 2020
0
Well, I'm sorry about the loss 3 years late, as far as the estate thing a lot of people are just vultures. All in all I wish you well. 
oldFloyd
Level 8
Sep 13, 2020
0
They can be vultures but there is no estate to go after. No property at all. I took care of that and even took over his life insurance. There is nothing left to go after unless some idiot thinks they can get his accumulated money in an account at the nursing home. This also cannot be done and the money will be used in his final expenses at the funeral home. There will be nothing left.
I'm sure you loved your father. This has to be a profound time of sadness for you with lots of reflections. We are all touched by your loss as it is something we all experience at one time or another. So we share your feelings and offer our condolences.
think-beyond
Level 7
Sep 13, 2020
1
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve never heard of getting death certificates in case somebody sued. That’s kind of assuming. It is for businesses who had dealings with your dad: banks, credit card companies, funeral homes, life insurances, etc. it is proof that he has died, and they won’t come after his estate or beneficiaries for payment. Seems you took care of all of that, and you probably already needed and obtained any copies already (funeral home, life insurance). Oh, and I found out when my mother died that embalming is NOT required by law and it is up to the family. Know your rights.
EllenDale
Level 7
Sep 13, 2020
1
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. For me, it just sounds crazy. I hope all goes well for you.
Paddypereira
Level 7
Sep 13, 2020
0
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