Yes, I think gender roles, especially when very rigid are toxic.

Thanks for all the comments, which is why I put it out there. I also live in a "John Wayne mentality" state and had a father who loved his girls until we became teenagers and then couldn't connect or even physically touch us in a hug or a shoulder pat anymore. We had lost our father and gained a gate keeper.

I agree men are not the total problem. Women can be and are just as toxic at times. I know women who are ruthless to other women and expect full approval and everything paid for by their men who they seemingly or at least to them lead around by the nose.
Modern literature plays a large part in keeping old behavior as norms or standards even if more physical sex is involved. Women and men together treat and teach both boy and girl infants and children differently.

I think both men and women have become defensive and antagnostic in some ways and both feel threatened. How and where do we fit in? Is physical attractiveness so important and do we have to have it? What if we don't fit the norm or what if who we are is rejected? How do we not only deal with this ourselves but how do we explain it to our sons and daughters? How do we accept and interact with those so different from us and how we ourselves were expected to behave?

If we cannot seem to attract a person for what we are both inside and outside, how do we deal? If we are older and not so prime anymore, but still want sex and closeness, how do we deal with it?

I didn't think much about the article, itself; but I do agree that there's quite a bit of toxicity in being trained up as a male. An example: I teach at a small private college (yikes, huh!) where we just started a football program about 5 years ago. During the Fall, our Administration gets several phone calls each week from residents living next to the practice field. They're complaining about the cursing! And most of the complaints are aimed at the language coming out of the coaches mouths!!! All the men in my family were football coaches and I can say it's a toxic environment for youth.

Yeah, I can dig it. I like this perspective a lot more than those who complain that the male is being "feminized" (BS)... which is just a bunch of nonsense from those who want to perpetuate patriarchy and misogyny.

I think I was one of the lucky ones whose father set an example of what it is to be a man, I always fell uncomfortable with the behaviour of my peers growing up, I often stepped in to correct their behaviour or chastise them for their disrespect of women and girls.
Although this is an Australian perspective it translate well into the Western Canadian culture.

My take away:

"Sadly, modernity has failed to replace traditional codes with anything explicit, or coherent or benign. We’re left with values that are residual, fuzzy, accidental or sniggeringly conspiratorial."

toxic behaviour sucks. because the article discusses boys, "toxic masculinity" applies. and, yes, i believe that the toxic behaviour that simmers in the different pockets of society, especially the internet, does breed misogyny. and i believe the only way to prevent that simmer from boiling over is to point out those who exhibit those behaviours.

Are the only ones who posted to this men who are defenssive about it? The dfinition of masculinity is changing, as the definition of feminitity changed over the course of my lifetime. There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself, other men, other women to be complete people, emotional, rational/parental, single/gender non-conforming, cis/etc. My step-father was of the, "Cry, and I'll give you something to cry about," type, and never understood how that contributed to his lifetime of unhappiness.

I think this is something that will not translate well into other cultures/countries.
I have read a lot of Tim Wintons works over the years and it is often about the issues as they relate to us in Oz. I think his approach would need to by undertaken in each country to see what comes from that. Oz is diverse but the culture he is addressing has been quite pervasive here, improving now, but go back 30-50 years and ouch. I know many women hating young guys, and also many around my age. When I was a teen the adoleccent males were of ther belief that your prize possessions in order were you bike/car, your booze, your girl friend. Mates are more important than girlfriends/spouses.

As an example, my father would never spend time with the family, he has been dead just on 21 years. 18 months before he died none all of his friends believed he was single yet he had a wife, 4 kids and 4 grand kids. The work shown in the article seems a bit dated. To give you some idea how different the cultures are, to vote Liberal here means you are a right wing supporter, to the right of the Liberal Party in coalition with the is the "National" party. This was previous called the "Country" party and those old members regard the new National Party as communist lefties, others refer to it as the "Nazi" party. Yet here is a story from today about one of our past leaders of this right wing party. It is our right wing conservatives who brought in our gun control. Bottom line, I don't think Wintons work is relevent outside Oz.
[news.com.au]

A long winded narrative about nothing not already known.

I see where @Katrik is coming from. I think some do take their animal instincts/inclinations too seriously though and appear to have a herd mentality (I have experienced this plenty of times, but I know better than to give in to peer pressure related behaviors). But this shouldn't be used to over-generalize men.

I really really dislike the narative of "toxic masculinity." Almost everyone I have seen pushing that story seems to be suggesting that anyone who is male is somehow broken. I also find the guilt by association that such people often use to suggest that all men are somehow at fault for their problems.

Hmm..the article has some valid points. I could never be a "real" male, even though I'm a partial transmale because I could never conform to rigid male expectations..too much female independence left in me.