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Question. I was married 20 yrs to an atheist, genius, MD. And wealthy. How in gods name lol do I find someone who can live up to that? I abhor when I meet someone who isnt as smart and I become mad. Should I just live alone w my cats? It sucks. Help!!

Olga 4 Apr 12
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17 comments

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I really think you need to lower your expectations and stop comparing apples to potatoes. I have to ask did you lose him or did he lose you? If you wanted him because he was all of that did he lose you because you're not? or did you lose him because that wasn't enough? My suggestion is be someone no one would want to lose.

SamL Level 7 Apr 14, 2018
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If you can't find one person who fulfills all your needs, find many who fulfill some untill you get the whole package.

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Do the cat thing.

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You are going to get hammered with this post.
Mine wasn't wealthy, but he was smart AF, funny, and gorgeous....hard to live with(low EQ) but I loved him to madness. He did very well financially in time, that's not why I married him. We were broke when we got married.
I was insanely in love with him. He died. It's really hard not to compare but there is plenty of room to excel where he lacked, much as I miss him.

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What's wrong with a kind person ?
Sounds like you're just looking for wealth, which is fine if that's your priority.
Well if you're no longer with him, he's not so much of a genius.

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Do us men a favor and stay with your cats. You sound like a self-absorbed bore.

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The world has an abundant number of great looking people, a fair number of wealthy and sadly, too few that really are smart. Combine all three? It is like getting three sevens at a casino with beginners' luck. The impression is that it will happen again today or next week or even next year. It can.

In the meantime, there are substitutes that are, unlike many, non-addictive. One guy might be prosperous but dull; another a brilliant artist but broke; another professional but an idealist. As long as you're not deceptive/misleading about what to expect from you and keep the orbits wide, in time you'll find that rare combination again.

After 20 years of what appears to have been a good bond, you know the difference between sharing real sexual intimacy and pitfalls and emptiness of discharging energy out of convenience. Though certainly pleasurable, it's a poor substitute that can turn into quicksand..

What's wrong with cats anyway? They're some of the smartest people I know.

You're young and it will happen

Your comments are thoughtful and wise.

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The more finely tuned your qualifications are, the more difficulties you'll have finding someone to live up to this guy who clearly raised the bar way up ... perhaps too high to reach.

Cats always work in my book !

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For god's sake. This site is full of people who are lonely and desperately looking for a connection. Your lament over the mediocrity you've encountered since your glory days is the height of narcissism. .

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My advice is to become the female version of what you want then look for your equal. So develop a career you are proud of, support yourself fully if you're not already, study what you're passionate about and then find your match.

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I actually agree with your post. Finding that particular someone is difficult. And that difficulty sucks.

That there is nothing wrong with having a certain criteria for your prospective partners. Having a standard, high or low, is not a flaw, nor a benefit. It's just is.

Hopefully, you find someone.

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Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. It's fine to have an idea of what you're looking for in a partner, however it's unreasonable to hold some sort of glass slipper expectation of who this person should be. Chances are, you're not "exactly" what they're looking for either

KDzo Level 4 Apr 12, 2018
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How long have you been separated?

@Olga People who are smart don't constantly talk about how smart they are. You haven't said one thing on this site that suggests you are that smart. Since you look down us mere mortals why do you hang out here?

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So, if this is what you were looking for, why divorce?

@Olga That is horrible very few marriages ever survive that kind of a blow, sorry for your loss.

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You should probably live alone with your cats, your chances of finding another genius, atheist, wealthy MD. at age 47 are slim to none, sorry but that is the reality.

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Build a robot

Olga the Opportunist, I think she's a robot.

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Dating show?

Who would want her?

@buzz13 I was serious! It may sound funny. But I was serious. The only criteria I can think of that can top what she's looking for is fame.

@SamKerry And another sugar daddy.

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